Allyson S.

After 6 days I screwed up...I was doing just fine all week. keeping real busy. I went to a few meetings, cleaned my house, joined a tennis club etc. Then Friday night came. I was at a friends house playing cards when someone said lets smoke some pot. I caved before I could even think about not caving. I am not one to give into peer presure but I didn't even think about it. Scarry huh? Well we smoked for a bit and then it was over. Sat came and I have been fine. I was actually doing some more cleaning and I found half a joint in a backpack and I actually threw it out...That was good. So now its back to 2 days and While I am not getting down on myself for caving it's amazing how fast it happened. I didn't even think twice about smoking. And for some reason I didn't smoke butts that night. I quit that 2 weeks ago.

Also did you ever notice that once trying to quit drugs there is more talk of it around you? Everyone keeps bringing it up and also the people at work keep making more and more reference to my drug use and knowledge. I am the one they come to with refrences and questions. I don't want to be that person...UUUGGGHHH!!! I know I need to tell a few people at work that I am trying to quit but I don't want the wrong people to know I was using to begin with. What have some of your experiences been in tellin tthe boss?

Well here I am at day 3 and so far so good. I can do it for today!!!

Thanks!

Anna

Hi Allyson,

I'm glad to hear you're back on track and yes it's scary how fast you can cave in. I'm an alcoholic and I remember giving in before giving it any thought too. I think that's the way the disease works. It's as if it prevents you from logical reasoning! Congratulations on quitting smoking too. That's terrific.

Love, Anna

Dan

Ally! Well chalk it up to a lesson learned. I hate it too when people consider me a a "drug encyclopedia"! As for the people ay work and your boss, I would be very careful and go with baby steps. The old phrase "None of your business" may be of use here.
Welcome back Ally. Onward we go!

renee75

i too have been where you have
i also have relasped im happy you saw how fast it can hapen
but also that your not upset with yourself
in respect to telling the boss i have always had an understanding work place so i just came rite out and said i was leaving
and would be back later when i was done treatment
they all understood
and i had a place to go to
when i was done

Chy

Your back on track and that's what matters!

Little Missy

(((Ally))) Glad you are back!

A man at the AA meeting last night said that he pulled into the bar parking lot and was on his way to the door before he even realized he was doing it. That had been his routine for so long. He said that it just seems natural to us, being alkies or addicts, our second nature. So now we're learning more about ourselves and being more conscious about our actions.

I too have a long way to go, but we will make it together, one day at a time.
Hugs,
Missy

mackat

ally
In NA, we read that we didn't become addicted in one day, so remember- EAsy Does IT! so if no one NEEDS to know you are in recoveery, no one HAS to know.
I always figured all the drug/booze talk during my first year was just one more gift - reminding me where i had been.
keep coming back
you are not alone
mackat

wingsfree

Hi Allyson good on you girl. Keep at it, you'll get it. You sound like me....when I'd drink I wouldn't even have a second thought about it....funny how our mind tricks us. In the morning I'd get up, and think ok here we go, another day of being sober, then BOOM down I'd go later on that day. Guess that's how this addiction thing goes. I'm finally paying attention to how this game works, lol, darn I'm slow, better late then never...yipppppee to sobriety.

Take care of YOU, onward we go.

Love and hugs......Denise

Jhana

Hi Allyson,

Just wanted to chime in and say each day is a new day, and it is the only one you can influence; give it your best shot-do the next right thing, and you will go to bed tonight happy, and proud of what you have accomplished.

Hugs, Gianna