Change4Better

Those who have posted on my threads before know I am very familiar with my weak will in stopping drinking. I let my AH convince me to try a measuring experiment this weekend and we both finished 2 750mls of vodka between us on Saturday night. All the amounts written down and timed! What an idiot I am. I knew better but it was what my AV wanted to hear. So what if you write it down? I'm a binge drinker, I knew what the outcome would be for both of us, and I was spot on in my prediction, but I did not care. Didn't care that I would have a hangover, didn't care that it would send my AH on another multi-day binge, didn't care that I would fall and hurt myself AGAIN.

I'm sober now. New day 1, he is not but I am focusing on me right now. I can't take care of both of us when I still feel miserable. But no more tests, gimmicks, tricks, for me. I can't be so gullible and fall prey to my AV's every whim!!!!!

Weasel1966

Gimmicks? Good way to put that. Like an infomercial selling me something my AV tries everything. But wait! There's more! As a special bonus I will receive a free coffin with every purchase of drugs and alcohol! Dial 1-800-KIL-ME-NOW.

All joking aside. Glad you are here. It can be done!

flutter

I'm sorry you don't have support at home, but you can find it elsewhere! Are you going to meetings or counseling or anything? I found I really sucked at being my own treatment center.