Willowgrace326

I'm on Day 5 now (not for the first time - but hopefully the last). I am in that stage where I am having to come to terms with all of the horrible things I did while drunk. I am lucky enough to have a mom, dad, sister, & brother-in-law who love me unconditionally (despite the hell I've put them through). I also have a husband who is hanging on by a thread. It breaks my heart to think about what I have put such a great man through

However, I know that I am not yet strong enough to face those things head on (it will come). I right now am facing my work issues. I have been at my job for four years. I was told by many that I was doing a great job & my co-workers loved me. But, I always felt like I was doing a horrible job & everyone hated me. Thank goodness - I now know those were just more lies alcohol told me!

I now clearly remember an instance before I admitted to myself I had a problem that should have been an AHA! My boss has a habit of giving nicknames to his workers (nothing bad...a guy who plays guitar is Fender, a guy from KY is Bluegrass). He asked me one day if I knew what my nickname was. I didn't reply, but in my mind I answered his question - I was either "Drunk" or "Alkie". I was wrong...my nickname was Sam..."Strong as A Mountain". I cried my eyes out that night. How could someone see the strength in me that I didn't see in myself? That was about a year ago & even though it got to me I still wasn't ready to change!

Has anyone else had a similar AHA! Moment they ignored?

Mizzuno

ummm...Well, pertaining to alcohol yes i have had those moments. Ive had many AHA! moments after a drunken night. This last one tore my world apart. I hope that you take this moment and run into the future with it. It is a beautiful thing. Stay strong. Stay resolved and stay close.

DFU

Are you going to AA? If so that's Step 9. I'm told the steps are in that order for a reason (I'm on Step 3). Amends will come, for now take everything one day at a time!

instant

The messages we need are all around if we care to look, listen and feel. You can do it.

For me my AHA moment came to me seeing light reflected off water droplets when I was showering (day 3 or so). I followed them and they led me to the light.