cleareyes

Figuring out a major trigger. Being alone. If I had a car right now I would probably go out and buy liquor. How horrible is that?? I went to treatment, got out and within a few days had a one day relapse. I have started going to an outpatient program 3 days a week and really like it. I go to AA and finally got a sponsor and started working the steps.

I have been super emotional since quitting. I was frustrated earlier in the week because my husband doesn't want me driving (when my car is fixed) anywhere alone. At first I was really angry, depressed and felt like he was trying to control me. I let this allow me to wallow in self-pity, anger and manipulation (making him feel bad). I finally realized that I just need to let it go, that not only is it NOT a big deal but also that it might be a good idea. Especially having these urges still.

Just needed to get that out. Haha

Natom

I've been wallowing for like the last 6 weeks. Being alone used to be a trigger for me but now I'm finding that when I am with people, specifically when I'm in large crowds that I get quite anxious and sometimes feel like I could 'get away with' drinking. My addiction head is messed up. I've just come to terms with the fact that one part of me wants to help me progress and the other part wants to kill me lol. I'm glad you've started the steps. I'm a fellow twelver aswell

Natom.