MsBubbles88

even though "life" still shows up and is a journey through more growth, my recovery has enabled me to have a deep, effective and loving relationship with a HP (God) today. That's something I ran away from all my life. I am no longer the Director... HE is. I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm going to be ok, no matter what goes down, because I know my God has my back... after all, He is the one who keeps me sober. Have a beautiful day!

Dee74

I'm living (and loving) my life, not barely tolerating it, or outright hating it.

D

Salacia

For the positives:
1. Ditto with almost everything mentioned above -- especially about not having to do damage control in the mornings. Good Gosh Golly God! I hated waking up in the morning and scanning my emails/texts/phone-logs. If I was out (at say a function), I hated that I didn't remember bits and pieces of important conversations. (Did my humor turn black at any point in the night? Oops! I don't know b/c I don't remember.) Now, I don't need to do damage control (...as much).
2. I smell AWESOME. I'm completely serious here. I smell wonderful! Even after a heavy workout, I still smell pretty dang good. Well, I smell a lot better than after a workout before. My lotions stay on better. I did have to change some perfumes though - but they last longer now.
3. I am becoming more brave, open and honest. I am communicating more of my feelings now.
4. I'm learning to enjoy the awkward moments (about half of them are a direct consequence from item #3). Instead of getting a tad weirded out and nervous, I am now amused by how awkward things can get during those situations.

Negatives:
1. It's hard coming up with things to do at night, especially when I'm in a social mood. The 24-hr Walmart, CVS and Walgreens just don't cut it.
2. I am craving sugar. A lot of sugar. I used to smoke and I would get these horrible nicotine-fits after I quit. Now, I'm sugar-fitting.

Ptcapote

That's so true! It's amazing how not sweating booze out of your system changes things. I also notice now when other people smell like it. Even in the slightest and even under heavy perfume. Makes me kind of angry that I spent all that money on expensive perfumes all those years trying to hide any underlying smell of alcohol when I know now for certain it doesn't work. Just like when you quit smoking and can suddenly tell everyone who smokes? Ditto for me on the drinking. Actually hope this part goes away...it's not a super-power I wish to have

seekinga

Wow, I love all of your replies. Tomorrow I am starting a 30 day challenge - I have set this myself and it not only involves no alcohol but also daily meditation, yoga, drawing and journaling on gratitude.
Some of what you have said makes sense to me, but to be honest I truly do only have 4 - 5 glasses most nights (doggone - yes I said 6 at one point, that is standard drinks as I pour my wines slightly larger than that hence the 4 or 5). And no I am not in denial - I realise I have a problem, I do not deem myself an alcoholic but that is just a word. It is a problem for me, therefore it is a problem. I don't blackout, I don't have to do a 'check' every morning to see what I have done, I don't ever smell of booze and my skin is perfectly fine.
What I was looking for in your answers to my post was what drives you to continue sobriety, the puffiness of ones face is surely not a great motivator.
Those who have said that they have found peace - that is what I am seeking.
I am sick of the constant doubt I have about my life and who I am. Not sure what I am looking for but I realise I wont find it with alcohol.
Thanks for all the replies.

Salacia

Lol! This image had me doing all sorts of comedy sketches in my head. Oh, the places you can go!

DisplacedGRITS

i've never woken up wishing i'd had a drink the night before. i have woken up wishing i hadn't had a drink the night before. i hold onto that thought a lot.