dreamuplife

Thinking about what to do with the remaining coke I have. I can't bring myself to flush it, I'll hate myself even more if I snort it. Giving it to someone would be hypocritical of me. I'm thinking of hanging it on the dry erase board on my fridge with a note saying "you're better than this". I think that's the best thing to do. When I've tried to quit smoking cigarettes, I've found it's easier not to smoke when you have some. As soon as you run out you freak and have to go buy more, so as long as I have some coke, I won't want it as bad.

Who knows. It's a plan.

I snorted my last line in between 3 and 4 am on March 15, 2013. Fingers crossed you guys.

sugarbear1

dump it

grieve it

move forward!

then start putting the money you would have spent on it in a clear jar--plastic mayo jar or something and watch it accumulate!!!!

soberhope1984

I agree about dumping it. You can have, lets say a few days sober and away from it... then it crosses your mind... 'Man I wish I had a line'... and bam! You walk by the fridge and realize you do, and end your sobriety with that one line... having to start over.

neferkamichael

Dreamuplife, unfortunately ya never know when law enforcement might so up, so please get rid of it. 1 year 6 months no coke here, and believe me, if I can do it anybody can. Rootin for ya.

Dee74

dump it.

It's more powerful a statement than anything else you could make, dreamuplife.

It;'s a statement of intent, it's the end of an old chapter and the start of a new one and it's a spit in the eye of your addiction.

It means this battle is over.
Hang it on your fridge and isn't it more just like a cease fire?

D

Recovery1983

Over a year ago, I had ordered some prescription pills from the internet. I have no idea if they were even legit, but they had came in the mail the day after I decided to get sober. I paid several hundred dollars for, and the same thought came to my head. In the end, I had called my old roommate from treatment center, and while he was on the phone, I flushed them all down the toilet. It was about 100 pills. It was somewhat painful flushing them, but once they hit the water, I knew there was no turning back. Afterwards, there was still some doubt, however, I knew I did the right thing.

I suggest that you just flush it down the toilet and forget about it. I know it's easier said than done, but what good is it for you to have around the house? Nothing good can come from keeping any amounts of cocaine in your house. When you say "I think that's the best thing to do", that is your addict mind justifying and rationalizing your behavior or decision.

dreamuplife

I'm not saying I'll leave it there forever. Just for right now. I've already hung it up and it felt really good. Talking to people about this, just in the last few hours has been a lot of help. Maybe I'm on a high horse, excited about getting clean, because it's the very beginning. I honestly don't think I'm setting myself up for failure by doing that though. Maybe I'm wrong, trial and error. I actually use to use Xanax really bad. I haven't done one in over two years and someone gave me one about 6 months back. I put it on my bed side table and it stared at me through so many sleepless nights. It sat there for about three months and I finally looked at it and threw it away. I knew popping it would send me into a downward spiral that I would eventually kill myself at the bottom of. I knew I could be just fine without it. I'm hoping the coke on my fridge will have the same effect. It sounds weird I know, but I think it will be good for me. I'll eventually flush it, and that'll feel good too.

Mrbeagle

I agree, i'd dump it. Leaving it on your fridge early in recovery is tempting fate. It seems like leaving it there is your comfort blanket in case you really need some?

Dumping it is a much more positive statement of intent, not to mention the obvious dangers of having an illegal substance in your home.

dreamuplife

Alright, alright.

misspond

Please dump it, keeping it is your addicted mind, your addiction voice tricking you into thinking that keeping it in the house with you is going to make you stronger when in fact it's really going to trick you into taking it.

Having just read your last comment again - yes, I think it's way too early to test yourself as you did with the Xanax.

Recovery1983

From reading some of your other posts, it seems like you are planning to keep it on the fridge. I can only offer insight from my experiences. It's merely a suggestion, but I hope you don't take it negatively. I do hope that the cocaine on the fridge turns into the same situation as your xanax story.

Nattythreads

I have to say it's a terrible plan.

I remember those cigarettes in a glass tube marked with "for emergencies only." Used to get through them quite regularly.

Don't think about being clever with it. Just dump it

RiverFriend

Flush it. The last time I ever did coke I flushed most of an 8ball and never looked back (10 years now). You'll feel better once you do. Maybe not today, but soon.

trikyriky

It won't work, been their done that. Always tried to leave a little crack thinking what ur thinking. It don't work. Your gonna walk by that fridge and if it ain't enough now you gotta go get more and repeat the process over and over. I ain't in no position being I ain't recovered yet so maybe I shouldn't be giving advice but little by little I am getting tools from this sight that are eventually going to help me win