niks85

Hi everyone, I really need help... I seriously do not know if my boyfriend is an alcoholic... Five years ago when we met he drank alot, he would drink 5 or 6 nights a week 2 or 3 nights he would get drunk...
I realised that he drinks alot and wanted him to stop... where we live there is no groups for people who need help ditching alcohol, so I was there for him... his sister and brother were desperate because of his behaviour and so was I, it as a strugle but he stopped so offten... in the past five years he drank about 15 to 20 times all together... I keep thinking about this issue, its driving me crazy... the last time he got drunk I went mad, he says that I take it to emotional because he dosent drink all the time... The thing is I do not know what is an alcoholic so I ask you was my boyfriend an alcoholic or was I just overreacting to his drinking
I need to know because I do not want to make family with an alcoholic, because after all these years of support that i gave him he betrayed me again, and I m tired...
Dont judge me please

sugarbear1

Well, only he can decide if he's an alcoholic or not.

At this point, I can say that he seems to drink alcoholically. It's not how often or how much we drink, it's how it effects us. He can determine this.

Try online Al Anon for you.

With hugs,
~SB

Dee74

Hi niks - welcome

Maybe the really important question here isn't if he's an alcoholic or not.
You're clearly unhappy - maybe better questions are how unhappy are you in this situation...what is the likelihood that things will change for the better - and what are you going to do about it?

I hope you'll visit our Family and Friends forums too - you'll find a lot of support down there as well

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

niks85

Thank You for your answers... Dee74, I wanted to leave him so many times, I love him and all but I always seem to think that if I leave he will go back to that kind of life, if I can even call it a life... I dont know what to do with all this, Im mad I hate him for doing this to himself and me and his family but I still love him and feel sorry

2granddaughters

niks, you must live at the end of the earth ... and if you do I bet I could swing a dead cat and hit an AA meeting.

Look up AA in your phone book or go on-line to find meetings so you know where they are.

Your boyfriend will have to go, it would be best if he looked them up, but whatever gets the ball rolling.

sugarbear1 said that Al-Anon would help you. I agree.

Your boyfriend sounds like he's addicted to the drink ... and you're possibly addicted to the drunk.

All the best.

Bob R

hypochondriac

One of the reasons I don't like the term alcoholic is this implication that if you are then you are doomed to drink forever. I hear it all the time from people I hear talking about alcoholics. Whether someone is an alcoholic or a problem drinker or alcohol dependent or whatever anyone wants to call it, the solution is the same. Even alcoholics can stop drinking. It is clear you are not happy with your partner's drinking, he may be in denial or just doesn't want to quit yet but that is besides the point. You don't have to put up with behaviour which is unacceptable to you. Don't let him make you think you are over reacting or making a deal out of nothing. If it is a problem for you then it is a problem x

avocado

maybe I'm misreading this, but are you saying he has literally only drank alcohol 15-20 times in the past 5 years?

Does he get in to trouble or do bad things when he drinks? If so, then I can see the problem, but if all that's happening is he drinks 3 or 4 times a year and winds up passing out with no issues at all except you becoming upset with him, I don't really see the problem.