back again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 21
back again
Hi all.
I was here late last year but fell off the wagon and started drinking again.
I haven't been too bad since, no major incidents emotion wise but i get heart palpitations and i think it's time i started looking after myself. My mom is an alcoholic and i just don't wanna end up like her.
It is gonna be tough because all my friends drink and my boyfriend but it's worth it.
Anyway, here i am so hello!
first hurdle = tonight I'm having friends over who usually bring wine. Any tips?
I was here late last year but fell off the wagon and started drinking again.
I haven't been too bad since, no major incidents emotion wise but i get heart palpitations and i think it's time i started looking after myself. My mom is an alcoholic and i just don't wanna end up like her.
It is gonna be tough because all my friends drink and my boyfriend but it's worth it.
Anyway, here i am so hello!
first hurdle = tonight I'm having friends over who usually bring wine. Any tips?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 577
welcome back, CPG!
if you're not comfortable telling these friends not to bring booze by because you're "taking a while off", just make sure you have lots of something non-alcoholic that you LOVE to drink around. Keep one of whatever that is in your hand at all times. And sit on the other hand.
good luck!!
if you're not comfortable telling these friends not to bring booze by because you're "taking a while off", just make sure you have lots of something non-alcoholic that you LOVE to drink around. Keep one of whatever that is in your hand at all times. And sit on the other hand.
good luck!!
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Making major life changes takes what it takes- there is no easy way- depends on if you want to go down the full disclosure road, or the half truths (on tablets, Dr's orders, in training, big day tomorrow etc etc etc)- or I am drinking X tonight and leave it at that
dealing with "drinking buddies" is tough
dealing with "drinking buddies" is tough
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 21
Thanks. There is stuff that's not alcohol we've had before so maybe I'll get one to buy one of those instead.
I'm definitely gonna have to remove the ten beers from my fridge that my boyfriend bought over! I'll hide them some place until he can get them. Along with his bourbon!
Is it weird that i feel like I'm kinda not gonna have any treats now? I'm vegan and don't smoke (eww) so i need to find a treat!
I'm definitely gonna have to remove the ten beers from my fridge that my boyfriend bought over! I'll hide them some place until he can get them. Along with his bourbon!
Is it weird that i feel like I'm kinda not gonna have any treats now? I'm vegan and don't smoke (eww) so i need to find a treat!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 21
Yeah drinking buddies is hard. It's so easy to drink with them but hard to not! I guess I'm gonna have to cut them out slowly. I did that with one when i quit last time and he hasn't spoken to me in 6 months now which is good as he was toxic booze wise!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
If you're really going to quit, you'll have to stop allowing your friends to bring wine into your house. And to take it a step further, when you're in the early stages it's best to avoid any kind of get together involving any alcohol whatsoever.
This is tough, especially for those of us "social butterflies". I'm skipping my fantasy baseball draft this weekend because all my friends bring beer and liquor to the gathering. It's an annual fun event that is the only time I get to see all my old friends and it's usually such an exciting time - but sorry, that's out. I don't go out to bars, either at happy hour or at night. Even simple things like ball games were out for me in the early goings. Sorry to give you this news as it's likely not what you wanted to hear. I didn't like the sound of it either, but in the end it was the right thing to do. Coffee shops have provided a safe place for me to meet with friends, but all the other old haunts, events, etc, are out of the picture.
Looking for ways to navigate friends who bring wine over to your house on your "day 1" is a really hard and irrational way to start. You're awesome for getting the ball rolling - why not give yourself a chance? Good luck!!!
This is tough, especially for those of us "social butterflies". I'm skipping my fantasy baseball draft this weekend because all my friends bring beer and liquor to the gathering. It's an annual fun event that is the only time I get to see all my old friends and it's usually such an exciting time - but sorry, that's out. I don't go out to bars, either at happy hour or at night. Even simple things like ball games were out for me in the early goings. Sorry to give you this news as it's likely not what you wanted to hear. I didn't like the sound of it either, but in the end it was the right thing to do. Coffee shops have provided a safe place for me to meet with friends, but all the other old haunts, events, etc, are out of the picture.
Looking for ways to navigate friends who bring wine over to your house on your "day 1" is a really hard and irrational way to start. You're awesome for getting the ball rolling - why not give yourself a chance? Good luck!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 303
I too have friends coming round tonight and they were going to bring a couple of bottles of wine. I've told them that I'm not drinking and that they should not be counting me in, but to feel free to bring some for themselves...they've said they'll not bother, they'll just bring some nice food instead, so maybe you could suggest something similar?
Just because they bring wine over doesn't mean you have to drink any. Just have something handy that you do like instead.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 21
Thanks both. I just texted and said that I'm not drinking alcohol, but would they like to get a bottle of Shloer (fizzy fruit juice stuff) that we had before instead? It shouldn't be an issue at all! =) Even if alcohol is in the house, I already have some and I'm not tempted...it's been sat here for a week and I haven't touched it. Just drank when I went out and finished off some wine I bought. I'll be fine.
Misspond - good luck for tonight!
Misspond - good luck for tonight!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Decisions in recovery in order to become
affected, one has to follow thru with them.
Tho not easy, can be, if using recovery
tools and knowledge learned to our advantage.
For me, in order to stay sober, I clung to
others in recovery for support, just like we
are doing here in SR. Then, I also clung to
members with long term sobriety I found
in meetings. Clinging to for me meant, sitting
in a meeting surrounded by those who have
learned to stay sober for a many one days
at a time, listening to them share their own
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes of
what their life was and is like before, during
and after their drinking or drugging careers.
To be honest, im not a people person, meaning
i can sit next to a member or members in recovery
but I don't have to leave with them or spend
countless hours with them.
I was a mom at the beginning of my recovery
and my main priorities were to stay sober first
then take care of my little family. Yes, i did join
in with coffee meetings outside the AA rooms
for enjoyment, but only when i was able to.
Most folks I met in recovery were either, single,
young, working or had their own lifes adgenda,
so most folks got what they needed in meetings
before returning to their everyday life. And that
is what I did.
Because I was the only one in my family in
recovery, there was lack of communication
and understanding of my alcoholism and the
need to stay close to my program, so I did
all that I needed to do for myself to stay sober
while the rest continued on their own lifes missions.
There was no alcohol in our home because I
was the only one who needed it during my drinking
days, so my home was a safe haven to not
drink. Meetings was also a safe haven and was
able to get the support and understanding I so
desperately needed for a long time.
Fast forward to today, im remarried, sober 22yrs,
still connected to my recovery program here in
SR and continue on my journey passing on all
the knowledge I recieved, learned over the years
that has helped me stay sober for as long as I
have.
My recovery journey continues as long as I
wake up sober each day with help and guidance
from Above and the knowledge instilled in me
from the beginning of a useful, affecive recovery
program.
Any notion that one day I will be able to drink
sucessfully is thrown out the window and never
taken for granted. Recovery, Sobriety is a gift
and im responsible for it as long as I live.
It can be for you too.
affected, one has to follow thru with them.
Tho not easy, can be, if using recovery
tools and knowledge learned to our advantage.
For me, in order to stay sober, I clung to
others in recovery for support, just like we
are doing here in SR. Then, I also clung to
members with long term sobriety I found
in meetings. Clinging to for me meant, sitting
in a meeting surrounded by those who have
learned to stay sober for a many one days
at a time, listening to them share their own
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes of
what their life was and is like before, during
and after their drinking or drugging careers.
To be honest, im not a people person, meaning
i can sit next to a member or members in recovery
but I don't have to leave with them or spend
countless hours with them.
I was a mom at the beginning of my recovery
and my main priorities were to stay sober first
then take care of my little family. Yes, i did join
in with coffee meetings outside the AA rooms
for enjoyment, but only when i was able to.
Most folks I met in recovery were either, single,
young, working or had their own lifes adgenda,
so most folks got what they needed in meetings
before returning to their everyday life. And that
is what I did.
Because I was the only one in my family in
recovery, there was lack of communication
and understanding of my alcoholism and the
need to stay close to my program, so I did
all that I needed to do for myself to stay sober
while the rest continued on their own lifes missions.
There was no alcohol in our home because I
was the only one who needed it during my drinking
days, so my home was a safe haven to not
drink. Meetings was also a safe haven and was
able to get the support and understanding I so
desperately needed for a long time.
Fast forward to today, im remarried, sober 22yrs,
still connected to my recovery program here in
SR and continue on my journey passing on all
the knowledge I recieved, learned over the years
that has helped me stay sober for as long as I
have.
My recovery journey continues as long as I
wake up sober each day with help and guidance
from Above and the knowledge instilled in me
from the beginning of a useful, affecive recovery
program.
Any notion that one day I will be able to drink
sucessfully is thrown out the window and never
taken for granted. Recovery, Sobriety is a gift
and im responsible for it as long as I live.
It can be for you too.
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