Starting Over
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 4
Starting Over
Hi, everyone. I'm new to this site. I'm here because I was 2 and 1/2 years sober and then slipped not too long ago, and I'm still having trouble pulling myself back up. I was able to make it 2.5 years because my life had gotten so bad prior to getting sober that I just thought the prospect of returning to that life would be enough. Then when I got sober, I achieved things that I thought were out of reach for me. Now I'm in school and its high pressure and I slipped at the start of this semester and haven't been able to keep it together. I just really wanted to get out how I feel today to people who understand. I'm scared. Thanks.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 4
Thanks, guys. I think I was able to stay sober most of all because I had a strong support system in my family and I made a point of exercising and staying health. I went away to school this year out of state so I'm away from that and it's law school and its just it's all consuming. I'm a 30 year old among a bunch of 21 year old kids who I don't relate to so I'm kind of socially isolated. I do have 2 really good friends..but it's a little bit hard being older. I think the hardest thing for me is those years I was sober, I subconsciously told myself that some day I'd be able to drink normally again and I'm having a hard time finally saying that I can't.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
I know how awful it feels to work hard amd reap the benefits of sobriety... Only to slip and fall into the pattern of binging again. Dust yourself off... I hope and pray I make it 2.5 years... And you can do it again. I had a fellow musician/recovering alcoholic describe it to me... "It's like when you write a bad song. You spend so much time working on it only to reflect and realize its rubbish... Then you think about the wasted time on that song. You just have to remember all the good songs, throw the bad one away amd forget about it, and study the aspects that made it a bad song to begin with... Trying not to repeat them on the next song."
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by puppy27 
I think the hardest thing for me is those years I was sober, I subconsciously told myself that some day I'd be able to drink normally again and I'm having a hard time finally saying that I can't.
Right now I'm really learning why I fail... In strong hopes of staying on my feet.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 4
Thanks, Paddler. That's really well put and that's what I need to remember. You know and my family knows I slipped but they don't know that I'm still battling back and forth with it and I haven't had too many days where I've had a drink since I told them about the slip, but when I do I feel like I'm betraying everyone and I'm just so ashamed.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
those years I was sober, I subconsciously told myself that some day I'd be able to drink normally again and I'm having a hard time finally saying that I can't.
And I found that the few times I was able to moderate just made me more susceptible to getting smashed 95% of the other times. It just let me fool myself into hurting myself. Then the drinking alone went from weekends to almost every night.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome Puppy - we're so glad you're here. This place saved me when I was desperate and feeling so alone. No one in my life had a problem with drinking.
I know how you feel, relapsing after some sober time. I had 3 yrs. once, and decided I could have a few once in awhile (during a time of stress). I was 'gone' again for 7 yrs.! I didn't drink constantly that whole time, but almost. I crashed and burned towards the end and was drinking 24/7 - even got dui's, which had never happened before. I had no choice but to kick it out of my life for good. You can do this, Puppy. We're very happy you found us. You are not alone.
I know how you feel, relapsing after some sober time. I had 3 yrs. once, and decided I could have a few once in awhile (during a time of stress). I was 'gone' again for 7 yrs.! I didn't drink constantly that whole time, but almost. I crashed and burned towards the end and was drinking 24/7 - even got dui's, which had never happened before. I had no choice but to kick it out of my life for good. You can do this, Puppy. We're very happy you found us. You are not alone.
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