Happy Birthday to me! 1 year alcohol free today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 179
Happy Birthday to me! 1 year alcohol free today.
A year ago today I was struggling with alcoholism
and in a desperate attempt to find some answers
I stumbled upon this site and my life will forever be changed because of it..
I am humbled by the kindness and support I've found here
and I am forever grateful to the angels turned friends I have met along the way.
This was my initial post on the SR forums on 3/12/12
(which now seems like just yesterday):
Well, I've never been able to bring myself to walk into an AA meeting
but I have accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic.
My friends and family seem to accept this due to the fact that
my mother died a few yrs ago.
To be honest I was drinking before she had gotten sick
just not as much as I did after I found out and after she passed away...
Its been awhile now and I can no longer accept
that I drink because I am sad.
My life isn't all horrible or bad.
I have a wonderful family and should be celebrating life not drinking it away.
I've tried to quit many times and I've also tried "cutting down".
I have slowed down a bit again recently and started eating better, excersizing, and so on but
I am still drinking at least 14-18 teas/beers every day to every other day
(That's about 3000 extra empty calories!
No wonder I need to lose like 30lbs!)...
I take a day or 2 off from time to time to recover from my hangover or if I have something I need to do at night
(i will try to stay home as much as possible, even make excuses to do so)
but I guess this is better than my old whiskey habit.
I haven't been sober for more than a week in years
and I am so sick of waking up feeling sick,
tired, ashamed and angry with myself...
So I am trying something new.
I've tried journals to keep track of my overall health and when ever I reach a goal (went to the gym today!)
I tend to be happy and want to celebrate with a few beers...
How ridiculous is this logic?!
I have read up on everything one should do to quit
and what to expect and what kind of damage I am doing
and will continue to do if I don't quit.
I came across this site by accident am I am glad I did because
I have gotten to read some pretty powerful blogs and realized maybe
I just can't do this on my own...
Thank you for listening <3
Since then I have found strength I didn't know I possessed
and today I know I am strong enough to concur anything that comes my way.
You don't quit drinking on accident,
it takes hard work and a conscious effort
and no matter what the situation is,
it is never worth that first drink.
We as humans are amazing creatures who are wonderful at overcoming the odds.
Embrace the negative feelings for what they are,
your body trying to stabilize and heal.
I no longer have the "want" to drink.
I no longer want to be that drunken helpless person I was a year ago today and there is nothing that I will let jeopardize that.
Drunk me was the worst possible version of me and I was happy to say goodbye to her.
It gets better. It gets easier. It gets lighter, happier, calmer.
It takes time but it can be done.
Fill your body with healthy fuels and fill your mind with healthy thoughts and your whole world will change.
Doors will open and you will no longer want the world you have come to accept.
I am no longer ashamed.
I remember what I said and did the night before.
I don't lose my morals.
I don't feel the guilt.
I'm no longer sick.
I am free and I am living and I feel good.
I am happy to be me and I am happy being in my own skin.
I wish all of this upon all of you who are struggling.
Keep your beautiful heads up and keep your eyes on sobriety.
and in a desperate attempt to find some answers
I stumbled upon this site and my life will forever be changed because of it..
I am humbled by the kindness and support I've found here
and I am forever grateful to the angels turned friends I have met along the way.
This was my initial post on the SR forums on 3/12/12
(which now seems like just yesterday):
Well, I've never been able to bring myself to walk into an AA meeting
but I have accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic.
My friends and family seem to accept this due to the fact that
my mother died a few yrs ago.
To be honest I was drinking before she had gotten sick
just not as much as I did after I found out and after she passed away...
Its been awhile now and I can no longer accept
that I drink because I am sad.
My life isn't all horrible or bad.
I have a wonderful family and should be celebrating life not drinking it away.
I've tried to quit many times and I've also tried "cutting down".
I have slowed down a bit again recently and started eating better, excersizing, and so on but
I am still drinking at least 14-18 teas/beers every day to every other day
(That's about 3000 extra empty calories!
No wonder I need to lose like 30lbs!)...
I take a day or 2 off from time to time to recover from my hangover or if I have something I need to do at night
(i will try to stay home as much as possible, even make excuses to do so)
but I guess this is better than my old whiskey habit.
I haven't been sober for more than a week in years
and I am so sick of waking up feeling sick,
tired, ashamed and angry with myself...
So I am trying something new.
I've tried journals to keep track of my overall health and when ever I reach a goal (went to the gym today!)
I tend to be happy and want to celebrate with a few beers...
How ridiculous is this logic?!
I have read up on everything one should do to quit
and what to expect and what kind of damage I am doing
and will continue to do if I don't quit.
I came across this site by accident am I am glad I did because
I have gotten to read some pretty powerful blogs and realized maybe
I just can't do this on my own...
Thank you for listening <3
Since then I have found strength I didn't know I possessed
and today I know I am strong enough to concur anything that comes my way.
You don't quit drinking on accident,
it takes hard work and a conscious effort
and no matter what the situation is,
it is never worth that first drink.
We as humans are amazing creatures who are wonderful at overcoming the odds.
Embrace the negative feelings for what they are,
your body trying to stabilize and heal.
I no longer have the "want" to drink.
I no longer want to be that drunken helpless person I was a year ago today and there is nothing that I will let jeopardize that.
Drunk me was the worst possible version of me and I was happy to say goodbye to her.
It gets better. It gets easier. It gets lighter, happier, calmer.
It takes time but it can be done.
Fill your body with healthy fuels and fill your mind with healthy thoughts and your whole world will change.
Doors will open and you will no longer want the world you have come to accept.
I am no longer ashamed.
I remember what I said and did the night before.
I don't lose my morals.
I don't feel the guilt.
I'm no longer sick.
I am free and I am living and I feel good.
I am happy to be me and I am happy being in my own skin.
I wish all of this upon all of you who are struggling.
Keep your beautiful heads up and keep your eyes on sobriety.
Well done 
x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand
Posts: 251
Wow beautiful......I've left a few post today to encourage the 3 and 4 day-ers...having almost 6 months myself, but I needed this, I need to read a (to me) and long timer...what a nice payback. Thanks so much for your post and Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
That is great, JB, and reposting your first post helps to put this into perspective for those who are new to being sober and to those who are finally coming around to their own personal understanding.
Congratulations, and thanks. Well done.
Congratulations, and thanks. Well done.
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