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-   -   Oh god this is scary.... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/287110-oh-god-scary.html)

Mizzuno 03-11-2013 07:12 AM

Oh god this is scary....
 
Good morning SR.

What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, I was drinking. My boss put us in a bar with a 6 hour lay over. Why didn't I leave the Airport and come back? I suggested that we leave. They didnt want to pay for parking again. All was going well until it wasn't. The anxiety that I felt over getting on a plane and my surroundings. The idea that my boss thought it was fine to let my co-worker get liquored up before flying. I was the one who got liquored. Then we are on the plane and a man has a seizure or stroke. That was scary. I was talking with my husband on the phone....rattled. This man was going to die. My co-worker was for certain that we were going to die while traveling on the plane. Anxiety, anxiety.....He needed to stop saying that. Everyone was drinking.... I went into a panic mode. By the time we reached our destination, I had to go to the bathroom so bad that i was in fear of losing control of my bladder. My co-worker yells at me. I get up while we are landing and lock myself into the bathroom and break down into a psychotic, sobbing mess. I lost my S##T.
If I took the alcohol away, I might have been able to maintain my composure. The rest is as it should be. Fired. Now, I scramble to find a job today. I need a job. I need to stay calm. I need to attend a meeting and let this day be what it is. God help me.

noexcuse 03-11-2013 07:20 AM

Oh, Mizzuno, I'm so sorry. I totally know how you feel right now. I literally felt like I couldn't breathe last week. My whole world was imploding, all because of alcohol. I can say this: my situation hasn't changed yet, but the world has kept on spinning. Go to a meeting, tell everyone what happened, open the door to them, and then let your mind be quiet. Let their words and their hope come in. You'll feel better when you leave, even though nothing may have changed other than your perspective. I still feel very fresh and raw, but I can see that things will get better. We just need to get out of the way of ourselves.

mecanix 03-11-2013 07:25 AM

Make the best of what you have in front of you today , the past has gone and the future aint happend yet , we only get to live this life one day at a time , on lifes terms as it happens now . We're all rooting for ya , i'm sure God is too ..

Bestwishes, M

Mizzuno 03-11-2013 07:32 AM


Originally Posted by mecanix (Post 3856661)
Make the best of what you have in front of you today , the past has gone and the future aint happend yet , we only get to live this life one day at a time , on lifes terms as it happens now . We're all rooting for ya , i'm sure God is too ..

Bestwishes, M

Yes the past is gone. The future hasnt happened. I will remember this today. My head has this way of spinning and spinning. Things will get better. I believe this with all my heart.

Anna 03-11-2013 07:53 AM

I'm sorry this happened.

Sometimes those little voices that tell us to leave the airport are just what we need to listen to. Stay positive and believe that you are right where you should be in life. This change could be an opportunity for you. :)

trachemys 03-11-2013 09:19 AM

That's more details than you told us before. Had you known they travelled like this would you have taken the job?

Have you ever heard of interviewing the company you want to work for? Carefully thought out questions can reveal much about the company/manager/team culture.

"What's a typical Monday/Friday like, working here?"
If either day ends with a group happy hour, would you be comfortable attending or working there and not attending?

Mizzuno 03-11-2013 09:47 AM


Originally Posted by trachemys (Post 3856801)
That's more details than you told us before. Had you known they travelled like this would you have taken the job?

Have you ever heard of interviewing the company you want to work for? Carefully thought out questions can reveal much about the company/manager/team culture.

"What's a typical Monday/Friday like, working here?"
If either day ends with a group happy hour, would you be comfortable attending or working there and not attending?

Hi Trachemys.....No, i have never thought about any of those questions. Im not sure if i would have taken the job had i known ...... I mean, I dont know if I can honestly answer that. The situation was unique. This was the first time we all traveled together. Im an untreated Alcoholic.
I have given more info now because I can think a little more clearly. The reality has settled in and i am in less shock....less tears.....I can actually see the letters on the keyboard.

trachemys 03-11-2013 10:00 AM

I'm glad you're feeling better. Keep on keeping on.

CharlieNoogan 03-11-2013 10:35 AM

I don't understand how you could be fired if this activity was encouraged by your boss.

I would consult an employment attorney to check into your options.

Best of luck.

Mizzuno 03-11-2013 10:41 AM


Originally Posted by CharlieNoogan (Post 3856898)
I don't understand how you could be fired if this activity was encouraged by your boss.

I would consult an employment attorney to check into your options.

Best of luck.

I was the one who drank as much as i did. I think that a normal drinker would have a few. I don't know. It was there. She didnt tell anyone to stop drinking. She paid for everything. There were also drink tickets for the plane. My co-worker had just as much. Im uncertain of how much she had. Im confused and embarrassed.

Tamerua 03-11-2013 10:52 AM

Put the bat down and stop beating yourself with it. It will only make you feel more shame and guilt. You only have to worry about today, so why not squeeze in a meeting or two? It will help with how you feel. Take a couple of days before you start the job search.

choublak 03-11-2013 10:53 AM

The boss paid for these "drink tickets"?

choublak 03-11-2013 11:05 AM


Originally Posted by Mizzuno (Post 3856646)
My boss put us in a bar with a 6 hour lay over.

This, to me, seems like a bad idea whether the employees are alcoholics, "normal" drinkers, or what have you.

Mizzuno 03-11-2013 11:23 AM


Originally Posted by choublak (Post 3856924)
The boss paid for these "drink tickets"?

Yes, bar, the lunch. the drink tickets on the plane.

I am accountable for my part here.

ClearLight 03-11-2013 12:20 PM

The boss sounds kind of fishy to me. Probably best to move on though.
I thought you said you had support from your boyfriend on this and that could be a really good thing.
The only other thing I could add is that, as long as you can stick to recovery, this will just seem like a weird episode in your life in the future.
We all mess up. If you can use this as a turning point you'll be doing a lot better than I did with a lot of the weird things I did under the influence.

CharlieNoogan 03-11-2013 12:47 PM

Regardless of whether the boss is "fishy," you may have a claim for wrongful termination if your behavior was sanctioned and funded by the person who fired you, assuming your behavior on the plane was the only reason cited.

You also stated that you asked to be removed from the drinking situation, but this was overruled because of the price of parking. This shows you tried to do what you had to, but ultimately your disease took over.

Look, its free to call an attorney for a consultation. I would, considering unemployment benefits are unlikely to be approved in this case. Best of luck.

FamilyMan2153 03-11-2013 01:25 PM

It's not a great situation either way. You can get a lawyer or not that is up to you. The bigger issue is what do you think you can do differently next time this happens? Your mind WAS working in the right direction for a bit. Maybe have a few numbers in your phone of people you can call? I have even told people the truth. "I am in recovery and do not drink" or even say you are allergic to alcohol. Just need to have a plan in place when this happens again.

Mizzuno 03-11-2013 01:58 PM


Originally Posted by FamilyMan2153 (Post 3857110)
It's not a great situation either way. You can get a lawyer or not that is up to you. The bigger issue is what do you think you can do differently next time this happens? Your mind WAS working in the right direction for a bit. Maybe have a few numbers in your phone of people you can call? I have even told people the truth. "I am in recovery and do not drink" or even say you are allergic to alcohol. Just need to have a plan in place when this happens again.

Things that I will do differently: Call my sponsor, call my husband, call anyone, leave, state my allergy to alcohol.....Pray. Stay strong and no matter what do not drink.
These are all the things that i will do in the future.
On a happier note: I am meeting someone about a job tomorrow.

LexieCat 03-11-2013 04:09 PM


Originally Posted by CharlieNoogan (Post 3857051)
Regardless of whether the boss is "fishy," you may have a claim for wrongful termination if your behavior was sanctioned and funded by the person who fired you, assuming your behavior on the plane was the only reason cited.

You also stated that you asked to be removed from the drinking situation, but this was overruled because of the price of parking. This shows you tried to do what you had to, but ultimately your disease took over.

Look, its free to call an attorney for a consultation. I would, considering unemployment benefits are unlikely to be approved in this case. Best of luck.

Just because one POTENTIALLY has a claim doesn't necessarily make it a good idea to pursue one.

I think that, from a recovery standpoint, it is much healthier to own one's own actions than to put the blame on someone else. I am not saying what the employer did was OK, or a good idea. However, I think most of us spent quite enough time blaming other people, places, and situations for our drinking.

Mizz, I give you a lot of credit for owning your actions. You also have the right attitude about getting busy finding a new job. I hope you will put at LEAST as much effort into your recovery, so this is the last embarrassing, horrifying, ugly experience you ever have with alcohol. I suggest you give AA a chance, if you haven't already.

Dee74 03-11-2013 04:12 PM

^ :amen:

I needed every bit of energy I had to stay sober, not pursue court cases.

D


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