Midlifecrisis

But he wants me to go from 40-50mg straigrhdown to 25-30 I don't think that'ssafe? I dunno I guess I'll see. I dunno if I can do it hit I disheveled a last binge rough tonight. Stupid I know. I start tomorrow. What it i can't handle ktB. I was going good today and had only had 20mg until just before but couldn't stop crying so had a handful. Stupid it ll just make it harder tomorrow. I think he should have said smaller to centenary don't you!? Why don't doctors know about benzos thy Muxh?

Louise82

Hi MLC. Just caught up on your other posts. It's great news that you've told your doctor everything and that you're about to start the taper.

I don't know anything about correct dosages for tapering but I'm sure people will be replying soon with their own experiences and their suggestions on following your doctor's medical advice/seeking further advice from medical professionals, so hang in there.

Rooting and praying for you.

Anna

I think you should trust your dr rather than your addict voice. If you really believe your dr is wrong, then you should find another dr. It's probably just your fear of tapering and stopping that is telling you it's too much.

Prayers for you that this goes well.

Midlifecrisis

I know but I've read so many things that say you should taper so much slower than what he is suggesting. I guess I'll just have to see how I go.

Last time my doctor gave me a plan you were all saying it was wrong!

Dee74

The way I recall it, you made the choice to go with the plan MLC.
I think it's best you stick with it now.

D

Midlifecrisis

I just didnt think it would include such a big jump down. He can't just refuse to give me more can he if I slip up? That would be dangerous.

I think I better go Inpatient if I can get down to the acceptable level.

Dee74

It's best to do everything you can to stay within the taper.

In my experience very few Drs (none I've known of) would give you more pills if you run out, no matter how long you've been a patient or how friendly you are....

D

MemphisBlues

Ia am assuming the benzo is Valium? I detoxed cold turkey from a far higher dosage. From my experience, I suspect your doctor wants to help but wants to see you commit to his instructions.

Yes, the initial reduction seems high by that recommended from some benzo recovery sites. Many doctor's don't understand the risk of protracted withdrawal.

I would follow his instructions. Ride it out. Keep in constant contact with the doctor so he or she knows exactly what you are going through. And I would definitely not be the one in control of my own benzo supply. I would need someone to dole it out to me.

This is going to be very heard. I haven't trolled through your other posts, but I can tell you this is going to need a commitment that takes every fiber of your strength. And you need support, from family and your doctor.

I detoxed from 20 milligrams of Klonopin a day. That's an equivalent dosage of 400 milligrams of Valium a day. I am 2.5 years out and am happy beyond words to have gone through every bit of the pain and insanity that came with getting off benzos.

So, yes, cutting your dosage that much is going to be hard, and I hope he stabilizes you where you are at and tapers you slowly from there. But I think you are going to have to bite the bullet and follow his instructions. And I pray you are not in control of your own supply. I wouldn't have been able to get off benzos if I was the one in control of the pills.

This isn't going to be easy. At all. Accept that. And scream for help.

Midlifecrisis

I understand you detoxed from more, I've heard you say that a few times. I would easily take more if i had access which luckily I don't! I guess we all react differently. I went from 50 to 15 last year and nearly had a seizure 2 weeks later and experieced the worst feelings I've felt in my life and I've detoxed from alot of drugs. I'm just scared.

I didn't have any for a few hours last night and just felt and felt and cried and cried. I think around the two week mark might be a good time to go to detox. That was the worst last time and it wouldn't be fair on my kids to see me like that

MemphisBlues

I just hope you can ride out the discomfort to get into treatment. Is the faciolity you are considering a full-medical facility? I mean, doctors present who can administer the necessary medications?

Many standard rehabs don't have much knowledge about benzos, treat them like any other drug, believe abrupt abstinence is the only way to go and end up trucking patients off to the ER.

Yeah. I had seizures (not almost). Convulsive muscle spasms. Stroke-level blood pressure. Add in some great hallucinations and psychosis.

Not trying to scare you, but just trying to show you that the discomfort you have now is so worth the destination.

MemphisBlues

Does your doctor know what happened last year when you started freaking out two weeks after a large taper?

Many doctors don't appreciate that the real horror of benzo detox begins a couple of weeks after the drug is out of your system.

I really wish you could find some inpatient treatment now.

Midlifecrisis

Think they only have nurses hence why it has to be below a certain dose.

Midlifecrisis

CAbt remember if I told him or not a out
Last gime. Think I did

Lyoness

MemphisBlues has some great advice for you. Definitely tell your doctor what you went through last time, I think you can even find your old posts to remind you, that way he can keep you from having to go through that again.

Also, can you give your Valium to your husband to keep and give you to take in only the prescribed amount? That way you can't binge and then wind up with nothing to help you through. I speak from experience, I always ran out of my oxy 2 or 3 weeks early.

jkb

It seems to me that your doctor is on to the fact that your are nor being very responsible with your meds. A did a giant jump when I first began tapering. I didn't enjoy it but, I lived through it. I think you need to start accepting the fact that the benzos will eventually no longer be there. The psychological addiction to them can be very strong but, in my experience.. the fear of living without them was far worse than the reality.

Midlifecrisis

Yeh I normally give then to hubby to give them out to me. I just hesitated with. This new script. Thought I could do it properly, duhhhh.

Yeah the dr knows I'm not taking them properly, not that I'm snorting them though

Lyoness

How are you doing today with snorting vs. ingesting? I know that's a big challenge for me, taking meds like a "normal" person vs. my usual ways. I think if we can step away from using them addictively that is a big part of healing the addiction. We associate snorting, injecting with getting high instead of as medicine. So taking out that piece of addiction can, I hope, help with healing it.

Midlifecrisis

For the last day and a half I have ony taking them orally, very reluctantly.


I know what you mean. When I think of iv drugs I crave the needle as much as the drug sometimes.

Lyoness

Good job! It's terrific that you are taking them orally! I know it's hard but it's part of breaking the pattern. And I do so understand being addicted to the way we use as well as the drugs themselves. Each time you resist, each time you change it, you are healing yourself and making it just a little bit easier the next time.

Keep at it, you are doing great. And inspiring me and others along the way.

Midlifecrisis

Slipped a little, ok a lot on the snorting but will try my hardest to do it properly now.