hrdtrgt

Thank you Dasiy and Serene and everyone else. sorry for the games. I have learned over the years that if you ask someone what their favorite color is, they will tell you without hesitation. But, there are other ways to get the color and in doing so, you get a lot of other information. So it was not malicious it was merely my MESSED UP WAY of doing things that I am trying to correct and I always say: Figuring out you have a problem is the hard part, fixing it is easy. I have overcome the hardest part, now I just need wisdom and you have all given it to me. THANK YOU!!!!

Starbaby928

I don't need an apology hrdtrgt... For me, recovery is intensely personal... However you get to that moment when you relent is what you had to do. You'll also need to do that as you find a support system... I like AA but you may not. As long as we're both actively & earnestly working toward sobriety then we're doing what we need to do... Find your way... Best of luck!

Post often so we know how you are and can share and learn from your journey.

Blessings, SB

Alva

I was a highly functioning alcoholic and master manipulator or so I thought until I found out my first wife was having an affair. That didn't go well with my giant booze inflated ego so I gave her absolutely everything, walked out and lived in a van until I could back on track. I rebuilt my "empire" with that giant ego, manipulation and bottle by my side. I met a new lady and came damn close to losing her. And you know you have a twisted thought process when you think it's their fault and I've done nothing wrong to deserve this.

I tried to quit drinking on my own a number of times. To me AA was for God fearing losers that couldn't quit on their own and well I was a lot smarter than they were. Just look at my life, great job, big house, beautiful wife and kids, money in the bank. Perfect from the outside looking in!

Finally the fear of losing this relationship smashed me in the head like a hammer and I decided to try AA. And wouldn't you know I met a group of others just like me who had been doing the same things as I had for years. Manipulating, living false lives, empty relationships etc. which they freely admitted but they were all here for the same reason; to continue sobriety and to be better people.

For me it has worked brilliantly. Not only has it helped me with stopping drinking but it has brought that massive ego down to earth, actually to the point where I have taken responsibility for my actions over the years taking blame instead of blaming. I think Step 2 has a lot to do with people like us - basically checking your ego at the door and giving in to your higher power which for me is not a religious power at all.

AA works for a lot of people, I wish I had gone years ago and for me it has opened up a new world of having that true loving relationship with my wife and kids that I always wanted, allowed me to forgive my ex because my drinking and I were the cause of the affair and also made me a much better person. I have new friends, some of whom are very successful in life and some who aren't but we're all equal and I can call or txt any of them and know they are there for me without wanting anything in return.

My advice is to try something, lose your ego and stop trying to outsmart the system. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain

deeker

I used to think success was measured by what kinda house you owned, your title , your toys. Today I know that is not true. Success is who you are in character and deed.

I know plenty of successful people who live in homeless shelters who are perfectly humble and happy and have the most important things in life, a relationship with their God, their sobriety , and meaningful relationships.

I lost everything to my addictions, I am a success today because I realized having all that stuff doesn't mean diddle. I am a success because I discovered that the only thing that will really fill that hole inside is a relationship with God. I am a success because I wake up with peace.

The more stuff you own, the more problems you have. No Thanks! I like my simple life.

CupofJoe

Hello,

I was a functioning alcoholic for a very long time. I was able to hold down a job, people liked me, very few people knew I had a problem. But it got progressively worse and when it got bad, it was really bad, and by the time I stopped drinking I barely qualified as functional. I could have ended up further down, however, and realizing that is part of what helped me quit.

I guess the key for me was to realize that functional is not a type of alcoholic or addict, but a stage in addiction. I was as much of an alcoholic when I was drinking two or three drinks twice a week, a pint of vodka a day, a liter of vodka, a gallon of vodka a day. I was as much of an alcoholic when I could show up to work and still an alcoholic when I'd start drinking and go into a bender that I don't remember because I was in a blackout for three days. Addiction is addiction and the one sure thing is that it can and will get worse if not arrested.

That realization is what helped me get sober and realize it's a lifetime commitment.

You stop when you're ready and willing to stop and stay stopped. Wherever you are in the stages of addiction, you can stop.

I wish you all the best in your recovery.

BC326

I used to feel the same way! I would watch those intervention shows and laugh and think I could never be like that! And even though I'm not living on the street or something, it took me a year to realize that if I didn't try to Stop NOW then maybe I would hit rock bottom some day, and it scared the crap out of me!