Dangit...
 

Well, its the start of a new day one for me tomorrow, I gave in today, even after a really really tough day 2 and 3. Maybe my brain thought I deserved a drink, maybe I'm just dumb... I feel guilty, ashamed, and upset at myself. I'm a freaking loser sometimes...

:c020:
Im so sorry...
you admitted to your relapse. I pray for your next 24 hours.

It can be tough adjusting to a new way of life.

You're not a loser - you just have to work out what else you need to do to make this work permanently.

Do you need more support? Do you need to make more changes?

D

You are trying again tomorrow? WOnderful! You are still a sober Marcher!

I don't believe you are dumb but you may be an alcoholic like me.. powerless in the end.

I wish you the best.

Bob R

I do need more support, I work so much its hard to get to meetings. I will find one by Monday. That's my goal.

Well I do not like to see this Per. :( But it is OK. Take that from a chronic relapser such as myself til something sank in....I started working my arse off for sobriety instead of working my arse off to get drunk. Your desire to quit drinking HAS GOT TO BE STRONGER than your desire to pick up tho.

But the good news is that tomorrow is another day to keep trying and you have expressed the desire to do just that!!

You know the insanity of this whole alcoholism gig is expecting anything to be different from the last time we picked up....it's always the same outcome; hence as to why you are here on SR after drinking TODAY and wanting to be sober TOMORROW. You can find ways to stop that insanity at a meeting. Make a meeting a priority this time.

Just like I told you before; you CAN do this! Best of luck!

Hey Percussion, you are not dumb and you are not a loser. That kind of thinking leads to the next drink---or at least it did for me. Just a thought as I was reading through your post about taking a drink tonight and going to a meeting on Monday. And today being Friday...

Try not to drink all weekend prior to the AA meeting because you "might as well, quitting on Monday anyway." That's what got me a while ago when I managed to do a few days of quitting and ended up drinking again on a Friday (always seemed to give in on my Day 3 too). By Monday I felt like such crap from drinking all weekend that I had no energy to go to a meeting because I could barely drag my ass into work.

Not saying this will happen to you but if you don't have to work this weekend, maybe you can sneak in a meeting? I don't love doing it on weekends either (I also work insane hours that don't always correspond to meetings) but I am realizing that if it is the difference between a bender/feeling like even worse sh*t on Monday and giving up some of my precious time on weekends---that time isn't so precious anymore, ya know?

Anyway, good luck to you and hope to see you here over the weekend!

Yeah, I guess the point is that I did make it 3 days, and that even though there was a slip up, what seems impossible is still in reach. Never drinking again is possible, it is just such a crazy lofty goal is all. And I know, 1 day at a time, but when that one day fails, you realize you may never get out... I want out for good, and I am stuck.

Today
 

[QUOTE=Percussion;3853154]Well, its the start of a new day one for me tomorrow[quote=

Every day is a day one for me. I just start over again and whatever worked for me yesterday I do today. Today a meeting worked, this forum worked, Some AA lit worked. It worked so good I think I do it again tomorrow. That is how I got a few of these days in a row. We all only have today right?

Alcohol- cunning, baffling, powerful. It wants to break you down, take you into self pity. Don't beat yourself up, just start by not drinking for the next hour, then the next, etc. I know it's hard, everyone reading your post knows it and has been there too. But there is hope; everyday is a new day. Even the old timers will tell you all we have is today. It doesn't matter if you have 24 hours or 24 years sober, everyday we wake up we have to remember that we are alcoholics and cannot drink that first and fatal drink. A meeting ASAP sounds like a great idea! I also have difficulty finding "time" to get to meetings, but we should try to remember all of the time we put into our drinking and then put some of that energy into our recovery.

I assume you learned to ride a bike at some time... Did you wobble and fall off occasionaly or did you ride perfectly the moment you got in the saddle ?

Keep on , you'll get there , M

You are not a loser, it is a difficult journey. Glad you came right back.:)