How do I help my adult child without destroying myself
 

I am so illiterate here , I'm not even sure what a thread is...
My adult child lives with us , and basically we are raising her 2children.. She has been using meth for over half her life...when pregnant with her twins she had just gotten clean, and stayed clean until the kids were about a year an a half..she has been using on and off for the last 3yrs... However she has progressed so far into the addiction in the last year I'm terrified she will die..she almost lost her babies at 24 wks...she fought so hard to keep her babies, I was so proud of her...in the last year she has done nothing other than feed her habit...she hasn't been around for her children and its so so scarey..she brings people ive never seen before to our house at all hours..when her license was suspended , we took the keys from her so she got a rental?? And the needles??? They rip my heart out every time I find one, its now gotten to be I find them daily...in the last year I feel like I can't even reach her..she disappears on a regular basis..I don't think she knows how to tell the truth anymore..recently I wasn't sure what or how she would react to our taking her keys from her while her license was suspended, and she can be very mean to me..finally one Friday afternoon my husband told me to take the boys and leave town for awhile.. There is no part of being a mother that she does for the girls..nothing ...we feed them ,bath them , make sure their cloths are clean...we are raising them.. I go from being very,very,angry at her..to being so scared for her that I just pray and bawl a lot...I know it frustrates my other adult children...that I give so much of my live to her.i just don't know what to do anymore..I know on the days I'm absolutely terrified because she won't answer her phone I try to be there for our grand babies,but they see what's going on ..I just want advice .i try tuff love but I never stick it out because I worry so bad for her and it makes me so sad to see where she's going with her life.. I know she's hurting I just don't know how to help..

Hi, and welcome!

A "thread" is just a post with a list of replies to the same post. It's pretty simple--you will get the hang of it. :)

I'm sorry you are dealing with this situation. It is very scary to have a loved one stuck in an addiction. We have a "Friends and Family" forum for folks with a loved one with a substance abuse problem. If you go up to the top of the forum and click on the link that says "Sober Recovery : Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Help and Information," you will see a whole list of forums on the left. Scroll down until you see "Friends and Family" and underneath that you will see "Friends and Family of Substance Abusers."

There may not be a lot you can do to help your daughter until she wants help, but there is a lot you can do to help yourself (and the rest of the family).

Hugs,

You can not destroy yourself unless you allow it to happen.Please understand its HER addiction.She has to hit the bottom before she will decide its destroying her life.
As hard as it is...IMO let her be.
Focus on your well being and your grandchildren.And believe we are all here to help you in whatever way possible.BIG HUGS,Kim

Heroin was drug of chose, for my 2 brothers. they both got off of it with lots of drug recovery programs. Had to go into detox. What about her behavior around her kids. Are they going to see her behavior as normal? Try to get her into drug rehab. So very sorry for you, as amok it breaks my heart.

can you look at getting custody/care of your grandchildren so you can concentrate on them but make her live elsewhere. It's not good for you or for them to have her in their lives. Maybe if she was made to go elsewhere it might make her re-consider her lifestyle. You won't be able to help her until she wants to stop but you can help you and your grandchildren