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5 1/2 moths later

Old 03-04-2013, 11:19 AM
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Unhappy 5 1/2 moths later

Hi everyone

What a lonely road this has been! I wish I had continued with the support from this site. Anyway the good news is that I haven't touched a drink since the awful "event". I am now on thyroid medication and an anti-depressant, and seeing a therapist on and off. The benefits have been that I have lost 10 kilos and am feeling better about myself, slowly gaining back my children's respect. My husband says he respects what I've done, but the relationship is very damaged and I'm not sure how we mend it. Every day is a new day and we keep trying. The difficulty is that he drinks more now than he ever did -it's a case of I don't have to change my lifestyle because you have a problem. I really don't mind him drinking and all the alcohol is in the house, but whilst we're trying i find it difficult if its just the two of us out and he drinks 2 plus bottles of wine, it just feels disrespectful. I don't crave alcohol at all and there has only been one occasion when we were with a group of friends that I thought gee it would be nice to join them for a glass of bubbly. Anyway I'm on the right path, even if its a very lonely one! But I suppose it's what I deserve really.
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Old 03-04-2013, 11:58 AM
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Well done on 5 1/2 months Swesti! That's an awesome achievement and you should be proud Are you getting any face to face support with other alcoholics too, like AA or any other support groups? So many people are in a similar situation to you and I know it doesn't feel nice. I felt lonely even though I was constantly on SR so I went to AA meetings and it was really nice to meet other people who had similar struggles. Lots of people have had unsupportive families and find strength from their peers. Maybe posting more here would help too x
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Old 03-04-2013, 12:09 PM
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Well done Swesti, 5 1/2 months is great! Your sobriety does sound a bit lonely. Is there any way you can make things more fun for you? I don't know what incident happened but you can't go beating yourself up forever. What was the point of getting sober if you're not creating a happier life for yourself? xx
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Old 03-04-2013, 01:01 PM
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Hi Swesti,

I think I kind of know what you mean when you say "I suppose it's what I deserve" but what you do deserve is recovery so well done and keep going!

Congrats on 5 1/2 months. I'm only on day 23 myself so it's really inspirational to see that you have that much sober time under your belt. Sorry to repeat myself, but keep going!
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Old 03-04-2013, 01:10 PM
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Hi swesti

Sometimes we don't get the support we;d like from those closest to us, but thats no reason to be lonely. There's some great suggestions, above - but even posting here a little more and joining a monthly thread might help?

D
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Old 03-04-2013, 05:17 PM
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swetsi...if you can get a couple numbers of recovering people...give them a call maybe meet up for tea
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Old 03-04-2013, 07:21 PM
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Originally Posted by swesti
but whilst we're trying i find it difficult if its just the two of us out and he drinks 2 plus bottles of wine, it just feels disrespectful.
It is impossible for a person to be fully present and engaged with another in the present moment while they are intoxicated. I can certainly understand why it would not feel good for you. In my opinion, it would be the same as dining alone. I'm sorry that this is the current dynamic between the two of you. I hope that it will change, but I the meantime, as others have suggested, find some fulfilling things to do on your own if you can. There are lots of ways you can learn new things and be involved in stuff that doesn't center around drinking...book club, classes (pottery, cooking, language) or things like running clubs, kayaking if you're more outdoorsy. The sky is the limit...Google your interests and I'll bet there is a group in your area. No need to be lonely.
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