Susan80

Again I have thought that I can « just have a few drinks » and it has ended up with disastrous consequences. I have been binge drinking at weekends and this weekend got so drunk, I fell over skinned my knees and was talking absolute rubbish at people. I am absolutely mortified by my behaviour and have decided that this time I have to stop drinking once and for all. I have tried previously and went wrong by having “just a few” at New Year. Since then every weekend I end up drunk, arguing with my boyfriend and generally feel paranoid and hung over. I feel so embarrassed that I cannot simply have a couple of glasses without getting totally smashed and making an utter fool of myself. I hope that by coming onto the forum daily, it will help me on my road to recovery. I don’t think I need AA as I only binge drink at weekends (which is bad enough, I know) and I live in a really small country where all the English speaking expats know each other. I am scared that if I did go to a meeting in English I would meet someone I know. I don’t want to lose my friends, self-respect or my relationship to alcohol . . . any advice that you can give would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading.

doggonecarl

Accept you can never, ever drink. Don't be sad about it. Move on and get sober.

Also, reconsider your recovery options. Posting here is great. Helped me. Yet, you say you don't need AA because you only binge drink. But you have been unable to quit binge drinking. So what does that say? If you could of quit without support, maybe you would have. Maybe doing it on your own is too difficult.

I can understand the fear of running into someone you know at a meeting, the shame that someone will know you are an alcoholic.

But what about the shame your drinking is causing you? Seems to me, you'll lose more friends and the respect of others if you keep drinking, not if you seek support. But hey, that's just my opinion.

Susan80

Hi, thanks for the reply. Yeah it is the shame that someone will know that I ahve a drink problem that holds me back. This may sound like a really stupid question, but is AA for binge drinkers like me? I don't drink every day, but I do realise I have a problem. . . once I start I don't tend to stop until I have run out of money or the pub closes. Also, what tools do you find useful on here other than the blogs? Many thanks.

doggonecarl

I drank every day, more on weekends, probably the classic drinker, and I still had a hard time accepting I had a problem. Denial, one of the characteristics of alcoholism.

I am not sure what definition you are using for alcoholism, but I don't see where your kind of drinking is excluded. The only requirement for AA is wanting to be sober.

If truly understanding your drinking is a requirement for you to seek recovery, do the research. The internet is a remarkable tool. Google addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, binge drinking, etc. Also research recovery methods.

AVRT helped me. AA helped me. Cognitive Behavior Techniques helped me. Relapse Prevention helped me. My faith and prayer helped me. And yes, SR helped me. What helped the most? Listening to the people who had got sober and applying their wisdom. My way wasn't working.

Louise82

Not a stupid question at all. AA is for anyone who has a desire to stop drinking (see #3 here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve_...lics_Anonymous)

Anna

Hi Susan,

Welcome and I'm glad you're ready to stop drinking. I found that stopping drinking was just the beginning. That was when the hard work began and I had to really look at myself and my life and make some significant changes. I think, often, we need to look within and deal with issues that we've been drinking away for so long.

I do find SR a lifeline.

bloss

Susan:
I was a classic binge drinker for many years. Only weekends, or once every two weeks or so. I consider myself an alcoholic. The only thing I was sure of after the first drink was, I didn't know what would happen. Wishing you well and hoping you find the recovery method that works best for you.

AnvilheadII

here's a thought - you can either go to AA and run into someone you might know who also wants to QUIT drinking (which is a GOOD thing), or you can keep up the out of control binge drinking (which is a BAD thing) and it won't be long before EVERYBODY knows about it.

got so drunk, I fell over skinned my knees and was talking absolute rubbish at people.

I don’t want to lose my friends, self-respect or my relationship to alcohol

i'm afraid you can't keep all three........

Dee74

Hi Susan

You don't have to go to AA, but you need to make changes - AA might be a way to make those changes easier - it's a very accessible very supportive infrastructure....but ultimately it's up to you.

Just make those changes

D

ScottFromWI

Susan - sounds like you need to make a change and need help from some group like AA, AVRT, SMART, Rational, etc..

And regarding people seeing you at a meeting look at it this way - people already know you are a drunk. As much as we try to hide it, people know - I can guarantee you that. Would you rather be known a as a practicing alcoholic or a recovering one? Because you are already known as the former.

MyFitz

Susan,

You're special like me! 2 is too many, three is never enough. One thing is for sure, I never know how many I've had. I hate waking up with injuries. I Hate Binge drinking. I've tried so many times to be a normal social drinker and failed that I have finally thrown in the towel. It is insanity by it's Freudian definition. I bet there are some that can become normal social drinkers, maybe their enzymes change? Mine are not doing me any favours. Mine aren't working right and make me drink to avoid the toxic build up... It's not my choice after a few and I always warn people who push alcohol on me. "Hey you'll be sorry if you want me to do shots... I will leave and the guy who shows up is a handful..." They never listen and neither did I.

Hope you find what you're looking for.