keeping the ball rolling
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
keeping the ball rolling
so it's the end of Day 4. my new Sobriety Day is February 28. i made it to a meeting today and the chair at the meeting was a lady picking up her 13 year sobriety chip. i spoke with her afterwards and talked to her about how to get a sponsor. she told me to find someone who has what i want. well, 13 years of sobriety sounds like something i want so i asked her to sponsor me and she said yes. we'd talked for a little while and i'd spoken up during the meeting so she'd had a chance to hear me talk and she told me that she thinks that i sound committed. she said i sound like a winner. HAH! me? well...it's good to have someone besides my husband believe in me. i'm glad i took initiative and got a sponsor early on this time around. i really think it's important. last go around, i built my sobriety that pink cloud of early sobriety. the problem is, that pink cloud isn't substantial. it goes away. this time, i'm doing what everyone says i need to do. i'm getting a sponsor and working the steps. i'm doing a 90 in 90. i'm reading the Big Book and working on a spiritual relationship with God as i come to understand him. i'm not going to try to do things my way anymore because my way hasn't worked for me my whole damn life. i'm putting my trust in my HP and the program of AA. i'm going to trust my sponsor and the fellowship of AA.
i can't mold my recovery around my life. i have to mold my life around my recovery.
i went shopping today and that wasn't easy. it's my first day back in Milwaukee and it was really tempting to pick up where i left off here. just a small box of wine to get me through dinner. but i picked up my 24 hour chip today and when the temptation came over me, i reached in my back pocket, held on to my chip and remembered February 28. it's a good date. a date i want to keep. i'm still feeling restless and discontented. i would really, really like to have that drink. scratch that, i'd really like to get drunk. i don't have a problem with drinking. i have a problem with living. it's going to take time but i'm going to have to learn how to live with myself sober. that's where the program of AA is going to help me. i don't know how it works, all i know is that it's worked for a lot of other people so i gotta give it my best because it's all i have left. if i turn my will and my life over to God and the program of AA, then i can say i've tried everything. during my last period of sobriety, i half-assed it. i admit that. i didn't really comprehend the Third Step or if i did, i only fooled myself into thinking that i'd done it. no, Lisa was very much still in the wheelhouse. that has to end now. i'm scared silly about turning it over to God. i have no relationship with my God. my spiritual life is a black hole. when i say God, i might as well be saying llama. also, i'm a control freak. i don't like it when i'm not in control. i like to micromanage everything around me. at least, i think i like to. this is going to be very difficult but if it was easy, perhaps i would have just done it right the first time.
well, Day 4 is coming to an end. they told me to pray to my God even if i'm still working all that out. like i said, i'm doing what i've been told. if no one minds, i'll write it here and then say it on my knees tonight. Thank you God for keeping me sober today. i don't know how i made it though the grocery store. i don't know how i managed to throw out that last empty box of wine i was hiding without cutting out the corner and sucking out the last few drops. i'm just grateful and thankful that i made it through the day sober. Thank you God.
i hope everyone out there has a sober 24 hours. they may be good, they may be bad but what counts is that they're sober. take care, everyone.
i can't mold my recovery around my life. i have to mold my life around my recovery.
i went shopping today and that wasn't easy. it's my first day back in Milwaukee and it was really tempting to pick up where i left off here. just a small box of wine to get me through dinner. but i picked up my 24 hour chip today and when the temptation came over me, i reached in my back pocket, held on to my chip and remembered February 28. it's a good date. a date i want to keep. i'm still feeling restless and discontented. i would really, really like to have that drink. scratch that, i'd really like to get drunk. i don't have a problem with drinking. i have a problem with living. it's going to take time but i'm going to have to learn how to live with myself sober. that's where the program of AA is going to help me. i don't know how it works, all i know is that it's worked for a lot of other people so i gotta give it my best because it's all i have left. if i turn my will and my life over to God and the program of AA, then i can say i've tried everything. during my last period of sobriety, i half-assed it. i admit that. i didn't really comprehend the Third Step or if i did, i only fooled myself into thinking that i'd done it. no, Lisa was very much still in the wheelhouse. that has to end now. i'm scared silly about turning it over to God. i have no relationship with my God. my spiritual life is a black hole. when i say God, i might as well be saying llama. also, i'm a control freak. i don't like it when i'm not in control. i like to micromanage everything around me. at least, i think i like to. this is going to be very difficult but if it was easy, perhaps i would have just done it right the first time.
well, Day 4 is coming to an end. they told me to pray to my God even if i'm still working all that out. like i said, i'm doing what i've been told. if no one minds, i'll write it here and then say it on my knees tonight. Thank you God for keeping me sober today. i don't know how i made it though the grocery store. i don't know how i managed to throw out that last empty box of wine i was hiding without cutting out the corner and sucking out the last few drops. i'm just grateful and thankful that i made it through the day sober. Thank you God.
i hope everyone out there has a sober 24 hours. they may be good, they may be bad but what counts is that they're sober. take care, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by DisplacedGRITS 
so it's the end of Day 4. my new Sobriety Day is February 28. i made it to a meeting today and the chair at the meeting was a lady picking up her 13 year sobriety chip. i spoke with her afterwards and talked to her about how to get a sponsor. she told me to find someone who has what i want. well, 13 years of sobriety sounds like something i want so i asked her to sponsor me and she said yes. we'd talked for a little while and i'd spoken up during the meeting so she'd had a chance to hear me talk and she told me that she thinks that i sound committed. she said i sound like a winner. HAH! me? well...it's good to have someone besides my husband believe in me. i'm glad i took initiative and got a sponsor early on this time around. i really think it's important. last go around, i built my sobriety that pink cloud of early sobriety. the problem is, that pink cloud isn't substantial. it goes away. this time, i'm doing what everyone says i need to do. i'm getting a sponsor and working the steps. i'm doing a 90 in 90. i'm reading the Big Book and working on a spiritual relationship with God as i come to understand him. i'm not going to try to do things my way anymore because my way hasn't worked for me my whole damn life. i'm putting my trust in my HP and the program of AA. i'm going to trust my sponsor and the fellowship of AA.
i can't mold my recovery around my life. i have to mold my life around my recovery.
i went shopping today and that wasn't easy. it's my first day back in Milwaukee and it was really tempting to pick up where i left off here. just a small box of wine to get me through dinner. but i picked up my 24 hour chip today and when the temptation came over me, i reached in my back pocket, held on to my chip and remembered February 28. it's a good date. a date i want to keep. i'm still feeling restless and discontented. i would really, really like to have that drink. scratch that, i'd really like to get drunk. i don't have a problem with drinking. i have a problem with living. it's going to take time but i'm going to have to learn how to live with myself sober. that's where the program of AA is going to help me. i don't know how it works, all i know is that it's worked for a lot of other people so i gotta give it my best because it's all i have left. if i turn my will and my life over to God and the program of AA, then i can say i've tried everything. during my last period of sobriety, i half-assed it. i admit that. i didn't really comprehend the Third Step or if i did, i only fooled myself into thinking that i'd done it. no, Lisa was very much still in the wheelhouse. that has to end now. i'm scared silly about turning it over to God. i have no relationship with my God. my spiritual life is a black hole. when i say God, i might as well be saying llama. also, i'm a control freak. i don't like it when i'm not in control. i like to micromanage everything around me. at least, i think i like to. this is going to be very difficult but if it was easy, perhaps i would have just done it right the first time.
well, Day 4 is coming to an end. they told me to pray to my God even if i'm still working all that out. like i said, i'm doing what i've been told. if no one minds, i'll write it here and then say it on my knees tonight. Thank you God for keeping me sober today. i don't know how i made it though the grocery store. i don't know how i managed to throw out that last empty box of wine i was hiding without cutting out the corner and sucking out the last few drops. i'm just grateful and thankful that i made it through the day sober. Thank you God.
i hope everyone out there has a sober 24 hours. they may be good, they may be bad but what counts is that they're sober. take care, everyone.
i can't mold my recovery around my life. i have to mold my life around my recovery.
i went shopping today and that wasn't easy. it's my first day back in Milwaukee and it was really tempting to pick up where i left off here. just a small box of wine to get me through dinner. but i picked up my 24 hour chip today and when the temptation came over me, i reached in my back pocket, held on to my chip and remembered February 28. it's a good date. a date i want to keep. i'm still feeling restless and discontented. i would really, really like to have that drink. scratch that, i'd really like to get drunk. i don't have a problem with drinking. i have a problem with living. it's going to take time but i'm going to have to learn how to live with myself sober. that's where the program of AA is going to help me. i don't know how it works, all i know is that it's worked for a lot of other people so i gotta give it my best because it's all i have left. if i turn my will and my life over to God and the program of AA, then i can say i've tried everything. during my last period of sobriety, i half-assed it. i admit that. i didn't really comprehend the Third Step or if i did, i only fooled myself into thinking that i'd done it. no, Lisa was very much still in the wheelhouse. that has to end now. i'm scared silly about turning it over to God. i have no relationship with my God. my spiritual life is a black hole. when i say God, i might as well be saying llama. also, i'm a control freak. i don't like it when i'm not in control. i like to micromanage everything around me. at least, i think i like to. this is going to be very difficult but if it was easy, perhaps i would have just done it right the first time.
well, Day 4 is coming to an end. they told me to pray to my God even if i'm still working all that out. like i said, i'm doing what i've been told. if no one minds, i'll write it here and then say it on my knees tonight. Thank you God for keeping me sober today. i don't know how i made it though the grocery store. i don't know how i managed to throw out that last empty box of wine i was hiding without cutting out the corner and sucking out the last few drops. i'm just grateful and thankful that i made it through the day sober. Thank you God.
i hope everyone out there has a sober 24 hours. they may be good, they may be bad but what counts is that they're sober. take care, everyone.
Just
). Glad you're well xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by DisplacedGRITS
i'm putting my trust in my HP and the program of AA. i'm going to trust my sponsor and the fellowship of AA.
i can't mold my recovery around my life. i have to mold my life around my recovery.
i can't mold my recovery around my life. i have to mold my life around my recovery.
I hope you print it out and stick it on the fridge door.
All the best, GRITS.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
I am really impressed with your no-nonsense attitude. Your insights are razor sharp.
Your new sponser has the right impression of you. You do sound like you are going to win the battle.
Congratulations on your 4 days.
Your new sponser has the right impression of you. You do sound like you are going to win the battle.
Congratulations on your 4 days.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by newhope01
I am having problems with the third step as well... I just can't believe in god... How do you get past it?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
The "God" part for me is a process that continues to develop and change.
You don't have to know God to come to AA. Just treat it like Hide&Seek "Ready, God, here I come"
All the best.
Bob R
You don't have to know God to come to AA. Just treat it like Hide&Seek "Ready, God, here I come"
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
It sounds like you have everything you need in place for a solid recovery plan. The 90 in 90 really helped me...as well as getting a sponser right away. I didn't feel connected to my higher power right away either but I prayed everyday as my sponser suggested anyway. Eventually I practiced Step 3 and really felt and believed it in my heart. It happens for all of us at different times. It's so great to have you back grits 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
I actually did read the 4th chapter, "We Agnostics," and I didn't take anything from it. I understood that it seems to be imperative to accept a sense of God in order to be successful in AA but I have a hard time believing that.
Im afraid many of you will be frustrated and think me ignorant for expressing this, but I just can't believe in any kind of a God... it goes against my logical side. I can say that I am spiritual and that I indulge in magical thinking... but God? I just can't accept that. I do love everything else about AA.
Im afraid many of you will be frustrated and think me ignorant for expressing this, but I just can't believe in any kind of a God... it goes against my logical side. I can say that I am spiritual and that I indulge in magical thinking... but God? I just can't accept that. I do love everything else about AA.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Your doing well...Milwaukee is an excellent place to choose meetings you are comfortable with....I had fun down there attending meetings in the city, West Allis, many of the burbs...best to you
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
I think if you aren't religious, or can't believe in a concept of God, that you have to search for a power greater than yourself no matter what it is!
Like is the tide going to come in and out? Is the sun going to rise? Put your faith in the consistency of those things, and draw strength that the sun WILL rise if you don't take that drink. But if you do, and have an accident, or overdose, well its not gonna rise for you. Your life has been rough while drinking, or else you wouldn't be here. Let the sun rise for you each day. Its a beautiful thing.
Like is the tide going to come in and out? Is the sun going to rise? Put your faith in the consistency of those things, and draw strength that the sun WILL rise if you don't take that drink. But if you do, and have an accident, or overdose, well its not gonna rise for you. Your life has been rough while drinking, or else you wouldn't be here. Let the sun rise for you each day. Its a beautiful thing.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Originally Posted by julez
Like is the tide going to come in and out? Is the sun going to rise? Put your faith in the consistency of those things, and draw strength that the sun WILL rise if you don't take that drink. But if you do, and have an accident, or overdose, well its not gonna rise for you. Your life has been rough while drinking, or else you wouldn't be here. Let the sun rise for you each day. Its a beautiful thing.
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