elp19744

I'm three weeks sober now and I'm feeling great in so many ways. I feel as though my relationship with my kids is improving, and I'm becoming a better father. I feel less anxiety in social situations, and my moods seem to be better stabalized. I also feel like I'm a better husband and a lover. However I worry that the weekends are really no different from the weekdays in terms of my bed time and the quiet activities that my wife and I like to participate in. I also worry that I'm a quieter person now that I'm not drinking and that will affect my wife's and my relationship. It seems as though drinking made the weekends standout from the weekdays and injected a lively element into our family life (which includes a set of three year old twins).

JCMalta

elp, I'm 2 weeks sober and in most things you have written I see a lot myself.

Thanks for sharing, I'm sure things can only get better, both for you and me.

IreLander

Wow! congrats you 2 on your sober time. Only 2 days in here, I find you both very inspiring! Keep it up!

Nonsensical

You have twin 3 year-olds and you're looking for ways to inject excitement into your life?

Dee74

^ lol

elp - I found I became the true me in recovery. I was always a quieter softer person deep down.

I'd have faith that if anyone knows the real you, it's your wife, and that things will be ok

D

soberclover

I think, elp, that you being a better father and husband is just fine with your family! My weekends are much quieter too now that we aren't headed out to the bars/clubs. It took me three months before I can say I really don't miss going out like that anymore. Sitting in a bar, drinking, dumping tons of money, listening to generally bad music isn't something to brag about to friends. Visiting a show or event in town is or going camping or exploring activities that never did before together is something to share with friends.

Rosiepetal

Just take one day at a time & live in the present day, it's early days & you're doing just great.
Well done.

Alva

I doubt your wife married you because you were the loud funny guy at the party You've listed a bunch of things that are better in your life after 3 weeks and those are way more important than being quiet and you feel better about yourself as a person. Congrats on 3 weeks, concentrate on the things you've listed and feel good about them and how far you've come plus no hangovers, guilt or shame.

I mix my weekends up, do productive things around the house instead of putting them off. And yah some are what I would have considered boring when I drank like going for a walk on a Saturday night or reading a book but I sure as heck feel better about myself come Monday morning

Paddler

I have two small kids and one on the way... I used to drink too much on the weekends because that's, well, what we did... We are very active and were actively socially.

I can honestly say I have enjoyed tremendously calming down. I wouldn't trade a sober weekend with my family for any drunk gathering. We have a "gathering" house where friends love to come hang out.

It has been awesome not having people around. That has led to more intimate time with my kids, my wife, and a stronger overall sense of family. I wouldn't trade it and know without a shadow of a doubt it has made me a better father and is strengthening my family structure...

I've realized my old ideas of fun were setting a very poor example for my kids, 3 and 5. It was time to change out of my selfish behavior for the sake of my family. And, it's shown soooo many rewards. I'd be kidding myself if I ever thought my wife enjoyed making out with someone stumbling around stinking like the floor of a brewery. We are more boring than ever but our intimacy and relationship are thriving. And my "male parts" seem happy to see the alcohol go, too...

o.k... so maybe TMI. lol