Fitness1234

Hello All,

I am 8 days sober. Feeling Good. A little crabby and emotional sometimes. I was last time also when I quit for 12 days. I am wondering once you got sober, did you question your relationship? I feel like I am. I am not sure if its my grumpyness from being newly sober or if something else is going on. I know time will only tell buy any insight?

Anna

I questioned everything in the first weeks and months of my recovery.

At my bottom, most of what I believed about myself had fallen away. Everything was looked at through a different perspective.

Focus on your recovery and be patient and see what happens.

wiscsober

you are doing well...your mind and body will settle down...see if you can help some one also...share your story with them.

Mvngon

Hi Fitness,

Good morning, and thanks for putting this out there. I too am questioning my relationship. The troubles go beyond my drinking. I'm taking some time though, as I have invested much time into my marriage and have a family to consider. I don't know for certain what part my drinking played in all of the other things that have gone on in our relationship, but I do know that my spouse bears some responsibility for his actions.

For me, I need to take the time right now and fully immerse myself in my own recovery. It took years to get my marriage so messed up. I can put aside whatever time I need to make myself well and then decide if the relationship is worth saving. -Just my insight based on what I am going through at the moment. You are not alone in questioning your relationship.

Best to you.

KAMRIZ

I too questioned every relationship I had, and I'm still doing it now.

However I didn't make any outward changes in my relationships for several months, first I focused on ME and being sober, but I also watched my relationships very closely and what was going on in them.

You'll be amazed at how much more clear headed you will become each week. When I felt stronger (I'm gonna say eight months in) I started to call boundaries or whatever needed to be done with others.

mistlechild

I can totally relate to this, too.

Things kind of reached a head this past week with my boyfriend. While my problems started before he entered the picture, he hasn't helped matters. It's only been a couple of days, but the response he's given me thus far has not been positive. He doesn't think he has a problem himself, while I beg to differ. Who knows what this will bring. He's a smart guy, but he's been mired in this lifestyle of his for a long time. At this point he won't even consider visiting a counselor to talk about how to deal with me. I think he's scared he'll get told he may want to curb his drinking. I can't make him change his mind, but I'm trying to show him why it's harming me. Maybe it'll clue in at some point. Maybe it won't. Either way, I can't keep going the same way because it's causing too much damage.

sugarbear1

We go through many changes in early sobriety.

Give time time and see what happens and how you feel.

Stay strong and stay stopped!

Fitness1234

Thank you everyone!

Seiceps

My partner left and I stopped drinking. He says we needed space, time etc. truth is we both know I wouldn't have done this if he was here. He thinks his drinking is fine. Probably Bc he's not getting black out drunk a few times a week like me. He is however drinking everyday, going to the pub instead of coming home, drinking to the point of ending up in police cells for the night , being so drunk he can boot me across a room. So I disagree I think he does have a problem and I'm sure he knew he wasn't going to stop drinking to help me. I don't think he will want to be with a non drinking me , even though he says that's what he wants , Bc he would have to address his own use too.
So , even though it hurts like hell , even though we are now broke , our exciting cruise holiday has been cancelled , I guess he did me a favour.
I don't know if that helps at all ! Felt good to get it off my chest though !
All I know is I feel better than I did when he was here and I was drinking.
That's all I can grab hold of right now. And that will have to be enough. Best of luck x

liss74

Good advise

liss74

I felt exact same ! Yesterday got some great advise we have been really sick just recover first good luck x

Dee74

I changed a lot in those early days - sometimes day to day, fitness.

My advice is focus on yourself and your recovery for now - when you're sure who sober you is, then you can start to look at your life and the folks around you

D