Rolf

Just wanted to see if I finally logged on correctly and whatnot. I'm coming up on 3 years sober and life has never been better. I'm of the opinion that ultimately alcoholism/addiction is a choice and that the solution to overcoming this retched condition lies not in declaring that you are powerless but by embracing free-will and the responsiblity and ability to chart your own reality. This certainly goes against turning your WILL and your LIFE over to anybody or anything. That whole idea always felt intuitively wrong. I've learned to trust my intuition because in this case, it was dead on :-)

hypochondriac

Gosh, yep you're right about that. My intuition kept telling me I had a drink problem but I kept arguing with it.

Welcome to SR Rolf x

Rolf

Thanks Hypo :-> The reason I'm here is to share with folks how I got here. I believe that a new paradigm in recovery is long overdue. Wrote a book about it and have a website and all that nifty stuff. My oldest daughter is in your part of the hemisphere right now. She spent her Junior year of college in Ireland and is back visiting for a while. Enjoy Your Sunday!

Rolf

freshstart57

Welcome, Rolf. Almost instinctively, the day I quit drinking, I started from the same place you just described. My view has stood me in good stead too, 18 months later.

Not everyone is wired as we are, it is called 'locus of control'. Some folks have an external locus, some are internal, as you and I are. This means that the paradigm you described just doesn't fit for some folks, no matter how hard they try.

Congratulations to you on your decision and your choice of sobriety! 3 years!

bigsombrero

Thanks for the post Rolf. I have found this place quite helpful. I am like you - I believe that some of the 12-step thinking really did help me in the beginning, but I've found my own power and have used it to keep sober for 8 months. Welcome!

Rolf

Hey freshstart 57,

Yup, being a sheep in AA clothing just didn't look good on me :-)

ReadyAtLast

Different things work for different people. Think many use a mixture too, take what works for you and leave the rest. Congrats on 3 years sober

sugarbear1

AA isn't for everyone, although they don't advocate turning one's will and life over to anything, it's about turning one's will and life over to the care of a higher power so that steps 4 through 7 can be worked on honestly and thoroughly.

I'm glad you've found what works for you!

jkb

Thank you Rolf for the post. I too agree with you... I had "tried" everything to quit drinking but, until I "chose" to quit drinking nothing worked...lol. I am still early on so I second guess myself alot that just quitting will work. Glad to see it worked for you. Jess

Rolf

Hey Bigsombrero,

Congrats! 8 months is huge! Just don't get complacent and all full of yourself thinking that you now deserve a little celebration if you know what I mean. Some people can return to moderate drinking but I know I'm not one of them. I tried that experiment once and it was a big fail. Does the thought of a nice ice cold Dewars on the rocks sound yummy? Well, yeah, kinda sorta I guess but I know that moment of semi-numb-bliss ain't worth it in the long run. More importantly, I DON'T miss it. The last 3 years have been amazing. Wrote a book, became the musician I was always capable of, found my true soulmate, took up kayaking, etc.... I could go on and on. Life is good my friend :-)

Rolf

Hey Ready at last,

True that! For me personally, living "one day at a time" for eternity doesn't cut it. I don't drink anymore so therefore I am not a recovering anything. I don't drink so therefore I'm no longer an alcoholic. I know I can't drink again and I'm totally cool with that. I just don't need to remind myself of it on a daily basis. I've evolved and left booze behind.

Rolf

Hi Sugarbear,

Whether you turn your life over to God, the AA group (which is many member's higher power) or any other higher power, you are still surrendering your WILL. That is the definition of being POWERLESS. As far as everything happens for a reason. That's very romantic but sometimes YOU are the reason that some things happen. Other times things just happen because....

debsam

I think your "test" is a big success

Welcome to SR Rolf - look forward to reading more from you!

noanxtime

I am on day 80 of being sober - yay. A while I come from from the midset that what ever works to help you - helps. No matter how crazy or how much you might disagree with the concept(s) behind the logic. If whatever was successful for one person and is working to keep them staying sober and productive, than so be it.
I can't argue with a 12 step program working or not. Personally, it does not appeal to me, but that's me.
I disagree that abusing alcohol or using any other substance to take ones self to an altered state of 'being' is a 'disease'. I have never thought of addiction that way but won't argue with anyone who does. I went to 4 stores yesterday and all of them sold alcohol in varies forms. The former me of a few months ago would have been loading up my cart with 'bargains'. The me of today looked at them and walked on. Maybe my poor recovering liver squeaked with encouragement, but I did walk on.
Congrats on your excellent time of staying sober. It is a great feeling!

Rolf

Hey Jess,

Don't ever second guess yourself. At the end of the day the ONLY person that you have to answer to is you. If you do the next right thing, strive to evolve, forgive yourself, and embrace your potential, then you are golden. "Altruistic and empathetic intent, followed by intuitive and thoughtful action equals an authentic and meaninful life" (Rolf Ankermann, 2012)

Rolf

Hey Noanxtime,

I totally agree that alcoholism in not a disease or "allergy" as Bill Wilson called it a million years ago. Yes, some people are more predisposed towards addiction and abusing booze alcoholically over a long time will definitely neurologically screw you up. That being said, however, I don't buy into the disease concept either. It is a choice. Nobody makes you pour the bottle of Vodka down your throat. How many other "diseases" do you have complete control over eliminating if you choose to? Not too many that I can think of!

Rolf

Thanks Debsam,

Love your "present" location!!!!haha
"Life is just a series of nows......The nows then, the now now and the nows that have yet to occur. Embrace the one before you and don't let it pass in vain" (RA/2012)

freshstart57

For me, I somehow had to accept my past, embrace my present and welcome my future. This is what is so hard for many people once they quit drinking, and for some it is necessarily a daily struggle. I did it through a lot of self reflection, meditation and a little reading too.

What are your thoughts on this?

Dee74

Welcome Rolf - glad you've found something that works for you

D

Rolf

Hey freshstart57,

I totally agree with your whole take. you can't deny your past, you own it! However, you should not let it own you. You take your lessons from it and incorporate the knowledge and wisdom gained to help you make sounder CHOICES and decisions in the present thus helping dictate to the extent possible, the reality that you want for tomorrow.

You shouldn't live in yesterday's glories or wallow with resentments for things gone wrong. If you incessantly revisit the past or stress about the future, then you are not grounded in the here and now, and that's where life happens!

Self-reflection, a LOT of reading and trusting my intuition all play a pivotal role in my being able to stay grounded and evolve and grow.