Rather lost
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1
Rather lost
Hi. Been lurking for some time now.
My story is long and boring. Tonight I am drinking again to escape my world after being sober for 6weeks. I'm a binger. The gist...
58, female married 35 yrs, known him 42 yrs 4 adult wonderful kids 3 terrific grandkids. My husband died one day past his 58 birthday this past November.
He was a great guy, broke his addictions 20+yrs ago. Coke and booze. Argh. Much hurt. After almost two yrs apart he sobered and I let him back home. Fast forward. He is gone. Retired at 52,found MS just after. His parents died,long story, he went immediately to pot, hurt me and adult kids, now he's dead WTF ?
Again I'm holding his bag. I don't even like to drink, but its always killed the pain. Crap! I can so much do better than this! ****!
My story is long and boring. Tonight I am drinking again to escape my world after being sober for 6weeks. I'm a binger. The gist...
58, female married 35 yrs, known him 42 yrs 4 adult wonderful kids 3 terrific grandkids. My husband died one day past his 58 birthday this past November.
He was a great guy, broke his addictions 20+yrs ago. Coke and booze. Argh. Much hurt. After almost two yrs apart he sobered and I let him back home. Fast forward. He is gone. Retired at 52,found MS just after. His parents died,long story, he went immediately to pot, hurt me and adult kids, now he's dead WTF ?
Again I'm holding his bag. I don't even like to drink, but its always killed the pain. Crap! I can so much do better than this! ****!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
I'm so sorry for your loss Toni.
Have you considered grief counselling at all? It might help you make sense of some this stuff, and of any unresolved issues.
It's got to be better than drinking.
Drinking never helped me deal with anything...it *stopped* me from dealing with anything, and from moving on.
I'm really glad you've found us tho - you'll find a lot of support here Toni
D
Have you considered grief counselling at all? It might help you make sense of some this stuff, and of any unresolved issues.
It's got to be better than drinking.
Drinking never helped me deal with anything...it *stopped* me from dealing with anything, and from moving on.
I'm really glad you've found us tho - you'll find a lot of support here Toni
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: If I knew the way, I would take you home.
Posts: 30
your story is far from boring. it sounds like you have had a very interesting, even rewarding at times, life. I would doubt that the alcohol contributed much to the rewards aspects, but plenty to the interest factor. you've been on quite the emotional roller coaster ride recently, suddenly finding yourself alone. you are never alone, toni. He is always right by your side. if you are looking for something a little more physical, try a meeting, or maybe volunteering at your local library or similar. good luck and God bless.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Toni. I'm sorry for all that you've been through, but glad you are reaching out to try and make a better life for yourself.
I drank for 30 yrs., thinking it was a way to cope with feelings. It never helped me handle anything - just made everything much harder to deal with and caused so much damage. You know you can do better, as you said - and that's half the battle. I hope you'll keep posting - there's plenty of support and hope here.
I drank for 30 yrs., thinking it was a way to cope with feelings. It never helped me handle anything - just made everything much harder to deal with and caused so much damage. You know you can do better, as you said - and that's half the battle. I hope you'll keep posting - there's plenty of support and hope here.
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