Kys

A few weeks back I sought the proper medical/councillor help to battle this, and posting on these forums was a tremendous help. I went three nights sober which I haven't done in years.

But unfortunately I relapsed, and so I've increased what I need to do in the way of proper assistance. Long story but it's required a significant life change for the time being, but a necessary one, I feel very positive about it.

And so today is my first day sober (again). I think whatever happens I would like to continue posting here, relapse or no. For some reason I've felt like I shoukd avoid here if I've been drinking (I mean posting when sober during the day). Maybe shame, feelings of guilt etc.

But I think I need to, it was a huge help the first time, I'm stronger this time, and can't wait to wake up tomorrow fresh

Nonsensical

Au Contraire, as our French friends would say. If you have a desire to stop drinking then this is EXACTLY where you should be.

Welcome back, and good luck on your journey.

Oz11

Post even if failing at lest u can see how others are working the program. This is Hugh information. Then start over u never have to tell when u start your program. But regroup try again, failure just means you need to tweak what's not working to something else. Good luck!!

wiscsober

Best to you always...you seem very willing...

Kys

Didn't work out tonight. Had to to some work from home, obvious trigger I need to manage. Of course not saying it's the only one, but certainly plays a part.

Damn, it seems like I live hour to hour instead of day to day.

Tomorrow is a new one (day).

Kys

Not having much success. I need to be strong tomorrow.

duane1

Ever tried AVRT? It was pretty helpful to me.

Saskia

Kys, determination is the first step for me. It's not always enough but it's a solid starting point. Think about all of the reasons you want to stop drinking. Write them down. Read them frequently and add to them as you think of more things. Also write down the positives about drinking. Compare the positives to the negatives. Keep adding to the lists.

Truly take it one day at a time. If you don't make it through the day, pick yourself up and start again in the morning. No excuses, no wailing, just do it. And think about what else might help. AA?, SMART Recovery?, other groups? Each time I relapse I now try to think of what else I can do (advice from a terrific SR moderator). There is always something more we can do. Read a book on someone's journey through alcoholism. Keep up those lists.

And most important, don't give up and don't beat yourself up!

You might want to read the March 2013 thread and see what others are going through and their ideas.

Sassy

Dee74

Kys

I think sometimes we need to think laterally and ask ourselves a few questions...draw a mental flow chart, if you will.

what changes have you made to your life?
can you make more to make staying sober an easier objective to meet?

what other healthier ways can you think of to deal with stress, and triggers?

what's your support like?

D

doggonecarl

If you are going to use SR for support, try posting or going to the chat room before you give in to the insistent urge to drink.

You say you need to be strong. Strength is component of recovery, but strength alone won't keep us sober. You need the strength to realize you are struggling and act before you drink. That's the strength you can use. Once you drink, all that strength goes out the door.

Have the strength to realize that maybe you can't do this on your own.

Anna

I would also ask what changes have you made in your life in order to support your sobriety. For me, I had to change pretty much everything. There is so much more involved that just stopping drinking.

wiscsober

not sure what recovery program you are working but the crux of them all is helping another individual by sharing your story...give away your hope for sobriety and certainly it will return to you....best always

GratefulDrunk

I'm 24 days sober and can't take it one day at a time. Sometimes it's one minute at a time. Then one hour, etc.

NewDay79

I learn that the subsequent guilt and shame just leads to me drinking again. I had to break the cycle.

I was able to do that today. I think I was able to do so because SR instilled hope in me. I went from hopeless to hopeful from reading the stories of recovery thread. If you get a moment, read a few of those stories, you will be surprised at how many people were in the state that you were in yesterday and found sobriety.

Keep posting please.

RocketQueen

Amen to that!

Kys

There is so much care here. Everybody. As always please don't think a brief reply doesn't mean I don't read your posts (often over again).

Kys

I love that I'm so invited to just post something here, regardless of my happenings.

This means so much to me.

2granddaughters

I don't know what exactly you are working as a program of recovery but the only thing I found that got this alcoholic sober and kept him sober was Alcoholics Anonymous.

All the best.

Bob R

Zebra1275

For some reason I've felt like I shoukd avoid here if I've been drinking

No, this is a safe place to be even if you've been drinking.

Saskia

I love SR! So much support and positivity. I'm finally starting to look at my lapses as learning experiences. The lapses tell me there is stuff I'm still not getting. Letting go of the sometimes agonizing shame is making a big difference for me. I'm finding I need to deal with this beast on multiple levels. One is how to deal with the cravings themselves; then there's dealing with the wishful thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could drink moderately; and then there is finding out what within me leads me to want to obliterate conscious thought. I think there are other, more nuanced layers but so far, for me, these are the ones I've uncovered.

Sassy