Breaking away is hard to do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 54
Breaking away is hard to do
I'm so glad to have joined SR.
My EAB is in a new relationship. He says she saved his life, that he was trying to get me to be the one who would be there for him but it didn't work out that way. I had to let him go. His drunkenness was killing me! He would call me at all hours and we would have the same conversation over and over again because he never remembered what I said. I was so miserable! I kept telling him I needed him to seek help before we could continue and he said he would get sober if I stayed with him. He would act like such a child when I told him this and it was such a turn off, not to mention draining.
After seeing him with his new girlfriend, though, I called him. We got into it about how things ended. He was blaming me for the break-up without understanding what he had put me through. I needed him to understand that I had tried everything I knew to support him but he kept drinking and lying.
I then went to see him. All the feelings were still there, but I also knew that I couldn't take him on again. Unfortunately his new girlfriend checked his phone that week and saw some texts between us. What a week of drama that created! He hit the bottle really hard and he asked me to be with him again. I couldn't, and it took us about four or five conversations for him to get that through his head.
He's back with her and I find myself calling and e-mailing him. I'm so angry for so many things and he doesn't blame me. He knows his girlfriend is taking a huge risk with him. I'm trying not to obsess but after e-mailing him another question this morning I said "never mind" and blocked his e-mails and his phone number. Just the anticipation of receiving a return call or e-mail makes me crazy!
I know deep down that I wanted to be the one he got sober for. I can't help but feel that I might have been able to hang in there a little longer. Then I think back to all the sleep I was losing and all the crying I was doing and how my friends were really trying to support me but were so sad that I was putting myself through this hell with someone.
I'm hoping that I can refrain from calling him. I want to have peace and I know I'll get it in time. I know everyday that I give myself without contacting him is a day closer to feeling more like myself and freer to find what I really want, which is a strong, healthy relationship with someone who has some good coping skills.
Thank you for listening!!
gs
My EAB is in a new relationship. He says she saved his life, that he was trying to get me to be the one who would be there for him but it didn't work out that way. I had to let him go. His drunkenness was killing me! He would call me at all hours and we would have the same conversation over and over again because he never remembered what I said. I was so miserable! I kept telling him I needed him to seek help before we could continue and he said he would get sober if I stayed with him. He would act like such a child when I told him this and it was such a turn off, not to mention draining.
After seeing him with his new girlfriend, though, I called him. We got into it about how things ended. He was blaming me for the break-up without understanding what he had put me through. I needed him to understand that I had tried everything I knew to support him but he kept drinking and lying.
I then went to see him. All the feelings were still there, but I also knew that I couldn't take him on again. Unfortunately his new girlfriend checked his phone that week and saw some texts between us. What a week of drama that created! He hit the bottle really hard and he asked me to be with him again. I couldn't, and it took us about four or five conversations for him to get that through his head.
He's back with her and I find myself calling and e-mailing him. I'm so angry for so many things and he doesn't blame me. He knows his girlfriend is taking a huge risk with him. I'm trying not to obsess but after e-mailing him another question this morning I said "never mind" and blocked his e-mails and his phone number. Just the anticipation of receiving a return call or e-mail makes me crazy!
I know deep down that I wanted to be the one he got sober for. I can't help but feel that I might have been able to hang in there a little longer. Then I think back to all the sleep I was losing and all the crying I was doing and how my friends were really trying to support me but were so sad that I was putting myself through this hell with someone.
I'm hoping that I can refrain from calling him. I want to have peace and I know I'll get it in time. I know everyday that I give myself without contacting him is a day closer to feeling more like myself and freer to find what I really want, which is a strong, healthy relationship with someone who has some good coping skills.
Thank you for listening!!
gs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Goodstitch 
You might want to check out this forum too... Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information x
You might want to check out this forum too... Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information x
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