Kookwater

My wife has had two failed attempts at out patient rehab and had just exited in patient and drank again afterwords we were separated the kids of 8 and 10 with me then she said she wanted to move in with us as she was battling to stay off the booze I got scared to put the children through the verbal abuse again and was hesitant she now wants a divorce because she says I am her trigger I am devastated by this please help me understand

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Kookwater. I am sorry your wife has put you through this. She might not have realised yet that there is no such thing as triggers, just excuses to drink. You will get better advice if you repost this in the friends and family forum here... Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information x

doggonecarl

It's the insanity of alcoholism. I don't know if you can ever understand if you don't suffer from it. Heck, I am one and I don't fully understand. But until she decides to recover, she won't. Therefore, you have to make your children's welfare the most important thing.

I am sorry for what you are going through.

Kookwater

Just so nice to hear a voice out there i feel so alone

Natom

I agree with hypochondriac. But that said I have recently reconnected with my ex-fiance and whilst I wouldn't call her a 'trigger' she sure as hell gives me a lot more excuses to even contemplate using or drinking. I haven't got any experience with an alcoholic/addict partner. I am an addict however, and I know that in the grips of our disease and in the early stages of recovery we are very selfish, it's just part of who we are. I don't know what advice to give you. This is something that you should just let pan out. It's probably going to be very painful but in the long run this may be something that is going to the best option for you and your children.

Natom.

Kookwater

Are you saying that that particular person gives you excuses to drink or is it the interaction of a relationship