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Old 02-27-2013, 03:31 AM
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Hello

Hi everyone,

I've been reading the forums for some weeks now.

I certainly have a drinking problem. The main one being that no matter how much I promise myself I will not drink I seem to wind up doing so. This is wreaking havoc on my health and finances, as it has done for some years.

I am 40 years old, pretty much alone in the world and know that I need to find some reason or motivation to get and enjoy being straight. I find it hard to find a reason to keep going. I know that it needs to come from within, but currently I am out of motivation to be ok just for me.

I've really appreciated reading the posts here, I have seen some light in many of the people here, and I hope I can find some of the strength and positivity I see here.

Wanda
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Old 02-27-2013, 03:54 AM
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It's great that you're here.
Recovery seems to be something that you just have to do on faith/hope/whatever. You just put one foot in front of the other, do the next right thing, and things get better. Most times, you don't even believe that they will.
Most of us (me) had rather sit around and think about it and find reasons why it couldn't work for ourselves. We're using, what is called our "best thinking". You'll hear in the recovery community the phrase "your best thinking got you right where you are". That is so true. If my best thinking got me where I am ..... it's probably not going to get me out of it.
Maybe find a meeting and do something different. I think you'll find that it works but you have to put out a little effort.
"If ya keep on doin what your doin....you'll keep on gettin what you're gettin".

And then the alcoholic/addict brain says "yeah, but {fill in the blank}...".

All the best.
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:04 AM
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Welcome to SR Wanda

Have you ever heard the expression 'fake it til you make it'. It's an AA thing but I think it relates to sobriety no matter how you do it. Life isn't all sunshine and roses the minute we stop drinking. I found I had to learn how to enjoy life sober and even just how to function. It takes time. What kept me going sometimes was thinking that if I drank it would be like saying I had to drink to live which is clearly ridiculous. It gets better gradually but it does get better x
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:06 AM
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welcome to SR wanderwoman
You'll find a lot of strength inspiration and motivation here

D
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:11 AM
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Hi, Wanda, as you have seen, there is lots of support on SR, and I am glad that you decided to post and join in.
One of the important things in my recovery was first to come to a state where I actually liked myself enough to feel that I did truly deserve something better, which for me, and I believe quite a few others, did involve therapy and for again for me, addressing depression. Perhaps I should not say first address those issues, but address them when I decided to stop drinking--it's a sort of chicken and egg thing, as low self esteem, depression, and drinking in an unhealthy fashion all seem to support each other. I am not saying that this approach is best for you, just saying that it was the approach that I needed to get and stay sober. Also, I found that it had a sort of snowball effect, as I addressed each issue that was troubling me, it became over time rather self sustaining, and a reward in and of itself--all the best of luck to you, and I do hope that you continue to participate in this site, great bunch of people here, yourself included, btw----rick
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:16 AM
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Welcome to SR.
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:42 AM
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Thank you all for the speedy replies. It is very kind of you to say hello and show me that I'm not completely alone.

I guess to the outside world I am mostly functional. I have worked most of my adult life, am educated, have lots of skills, appear articulate and together. I have a heap of flaws as well. I have deep abandonment wounds which will not heal, , but I know it is possible to walk with them more positively than I do now.

I really relate to the comments about "best thinking" and also relate to the issues of low self esteem and have probably had depression most of my life (note: I live with this and am not suicidal or anything - it is more of a pervasive inner sadness). Something I have realised is that these issues have been with me whether I was drinking or not. I have explored therapy/counselling on various occasions to try and fix what I think is my flawed self, somehow whatever I have found in those situations has not stayed with me.

I do think I'm kind of primally damaged, but I also know many people are, and this is no excuse to continue to harm myself more.

So, I'm not thinking things will be spectacular when I stop harming myself with alcohol and other substances (I also smoke cigarettes which needs to stop), but hope there will be a kind of contentment somewhere at some point in my life.

Many thanks for saying hello, and having a space for someone like me to offload. I will check in again soon.

x
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:44 AM
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Welcome to SR. I know finding the motivation to stop can be difficult. But, things cannot and usually will not get better until that decision is made and action is taken. If you're like me, drinking was engrained into so much of my life that it really was like losing the only friend and pal that understood me. I had to replace it with new, positive habits and beliefs.

I hope you will find the inspiration and motivation to make the best decision of your life.
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:48 AM
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Welcome!!!!

The great thing about this place is that you get to see other people flower in their sobriety but also their struggles.

It lets me know that I can be sober and in recovery too. I have almost 5 months and I was a chronic relapser. Like a lot.

Coming to this site is like a batter charge or something for my sobriety.
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:56 AM
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Hello Wanda Welcome to SR. From your recent post, it seems , you have already started thinking in right direction. Alcohol never solves any problem such as depression but in fact elevates the problem. If you are fond of reading self help book, I would highly recommend the book " Easy way to control Alcohol " by Alen Karr. You will find some very cheap deals on Amazon or local book store. This book has helped me a lot because it is written with a very solid reasoning. The 1st step to recovery is to start feeling good about ourselves and have positive frame of mind. We might have destroyed our life due to alcohol but there are people out there , who do not drink, commits the horrible crimes and still do not feel bad about themselves. I realized that once we start loving ourselves, the paradigm shifts and we start looking things from a different perspective.. No one is primarily or permanently damages. Every one, has flows and every one has some very good virtues , too.. All the best and keep posting at SR.
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:20 PM
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Not feeling amazing which is the state my childlike mind wishes to be at constantly i have to remind myself that you cannot fully appreciate warmth without feeling cold...peace and serenity without having felt devastation and doom... one cannot exist without the other...and so it is ....So right now despite feeling prity ****** im going to go do some work and see what happens two hours later... Feel much better for going to work plus im just a little richer or securer for the next few days its funny how when you put a little action in things actually shift such a simple tool for such a remarkably complicated nut like me xxx
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