scottsdaletom

Hi All,

I am sure many of you if not all have gone through the same process I find myself in at this time. I am trying to figure out if I am an alcoholic or not. It's not always easy just reading all the definitions from various websites, etc.

I drink beer. Bud Light only. I drink it every day. I drink 7-9 of them every day. I have been drinking it for 15 years, same amount, no more, no less. I never drink in the daytime, never have had an "eye-opener", no black outs, no car accidents, never missed work, no embarrassing incidents. I just like to drink it every day.

I am a healthy guy, I go to the gym every day. I eat very healthy to the point where my friends make jokes about it. I get yearly physicals and am always proclaimed to be in fine shape, including liver studies. I meditate. I look younger than I am (44) and am not overweight.

I have a wonderful wife and kids and they would never or have ever suggested I have any kind of drinking problem. I take good care of my home, my family, and am a very successful businessman. I am lucky indeed. My only real vice is beer. You know, light beer.

So, am I in denial? Am I sitting on a powder keg that has not exploded? I am not hung up on admitting I have a problem at all, if I do. Just cannot determine if I do or not. With the exception of feeling a little fuzzy in the morning, and only for a short time, I don't really feel bad.

On the other hand, 7-9 drinks a day is a lot. I don't particularly want to quit, but I will if I think I have a problem. If I don't have beer in the house I never go to the vodka or wine, I just do without, however I certainly prefer not to go without. I don't go to bars unless I am out of town on business, I don't drive drunk or anything like that.

I am trying to be totally honest with myself but I also know that denial is a devious little demon who can muddy up my thinking process so I am looking for insights from people who truly understand and most likely are further down the path than me. If you recognize what I am going through, I would very much appreciate you shedding some light on this. After reading through a lot of threads on the site today, I have much admiration and respect for the fine people who post, respond, and support each other here.

Thanks so much for listening. I look forward to hearing any and all comments.

wingsfree

Hi Scottsdaletom....first off welcome to sober recovery.

I'm no expert on alcoholisum, I do know I have a problem with it, and not ashamed to say I am...I've been more ashamed dodging the issue.

I'm thinking you're here...so what does that tell you? there's you're answer I'm figuring, why else would you be bothering searching out a help place..

I hope you find your answers..I really think that's way way way to much beer to be drinking every day, and it will catch up to you sooner or later, don't you think? remember it's progressive.... but then what do I know, I'm just a lowly old housewife, LOL.

Justme57

Hi there Scotsdaletom welcome to SR!

I am with the above poster, I wonder what prompted you to seek a help forum? You are obviously uneasy with your current situation.

Why dont you try going 30 days with NO beer, and see how you feel, and what your reactions are ?

As I live in Australia, I am unfamiliar with the composition of your " light beer" so cannot offer an opinion in that respect .

Either way , I wish you the best , and keep us posted on how you are going

HUGX

Lee

Dan

Hi Tom,
What a great post man! My friends above ask the obvious question. What brought you here? My experience with alcoholism was pretty much like yours, until it got out of control. You ask questions that only you can really answer my friend. Denial is a wiley beast. As far as what you consume, I do want to ask one question. Does it happen that you have to jump in your car at a moments notice in the evening for any reason, you know, say to get something at the store for supper? A six pack and a bit of the light stuff is junior league compared to some to be sure, but still is alcohol consumption.
How's your liver? You describe being in good health and describe next to no ill effects in the morning. That may be a sign of a tolerance level that should give you some concern. Now you've got me curious Tom!
Welcome here, and I hope you stick around, regardless of any conclusions you may come to.

jpal

Sounds like you have a lot of soul searching to do. You came to the right place to express your feelings and help sort things out.
There was a time in my life when I abused alcohol (miller lite drinker myself!) and it definately interfered with the type of life I wanted to be living. I think the fact that you are "fuctional" in that you have a good job, take care of your family etc. makes it more difficult to determine if you have a problem with alcohol. I mean if you can't hold a job, car is repoed, and your getting evicted cause of your drinking problem.....it's pretty clear you have a problem!! But you list all the things that are going well in your life. So??????????

Here's the question.....Is it? I mean, is sitting home every nite drinking (alone, I presume??) REALLY what you want to be doing with your time?? Is there anything else you'd rather be doing?? Do you ever go out?? How is this affecting the relationships you have w/family & friends?? You may not realize how far reaching the effects of your drinking might be.

I agree with the other posters that you came here for a reason.....now you need to figure out what that reason is. Substance abuse comes in many forms and just because you don't fit the "classic" description of an alcoholic doesn't mean that you're problem free. I think the key is HOW this behavior is affecting your ability to live the kinda life you want to be living.

Because you are getting older now, the physical effects of drinking are not as easy to get over as they used to be. Waking up feeling shi**y every morning is your body giving you a message. Letting you know that the drinking is taking its toll on your body. Maybe thats enough of a reason to cut back/quit drinking.

I'm not an expert on alcoholism, these were just some observations I got from reading your post. I wish you all the inspiration you may need as you begin this journey of self discovery. Keep posting and reading other's posts, there's a lot of support and info here. good luck to you!

scottsdaletom

Thanks to all of you and you all bring up some really good and insightful points.

I know my original post begs the question "there must be a reason I am on this site", which I anticipated would come up. I think it's one of those things where I am taking a step back and looking hard at my life, and this is something I want to face head on to really identify it is a problem or not.

Dan, I have read a number of your posts and you are a very cool guy, thanks for replying to my post. Have I made the night run to grab some cold ones? Sure I have. Have I thought about where am I gonna have a quick couple of cold ones when I am on a plane traveling on business and due to arrive in another city that night. Yup. This is one reason I am taking this look at myself. (oh, liver studies are well within the normal range...so far)

And Jpal, good insights and good questions. I am not sure I am really giving up much in the evenings, it is not as if I am sitting around alone in the dark drinking. I get home at about 7pm every night and with two toddlers and a dog we have a lot of chores at night with baths, stories, playtime, getting ready for the next day, etc. I get about an hour alone at the end of the night and I truly enjoy an hour of TV and some beer before turning in. But you are right, as we get older our bodies are telling us if we are doing something which is not healthy.

I really appreciate you all giving insight and it gives me a lot to think about. I think I'll stick around and participate with the good people here, I think it'll help me clarify and face myself honestly enough to do the right thing. Thanks for the support so far.

1Marty

Hi Scott. You sound like you have a pretty good life. No obvious problems realtated to alcohol. But 7-9 drinks is excessive. Even if it is lite beer. I would see if you can limit your drinks to 2 a day. I hear that experts say 2 a day can be healthy (For non-alcoholics). If you don't want to do this, or you find yourself regularly exceding your drink limit - you may indeed have a problem.

ted

HEY SCOTTSDALE WELCOME,
DITTO THE ABOVE MENTIONED,YOU SAID,"FURTHER DOWN THE PATH THAN YOU".WHERE DOES THE PATH YOUR ON LEAD?
YOUR OBVIOUSLY A SMART AND FORTUNATE MAN.

I'M AT THE END OF THAT PATH,TAKE MY WORD FOR IT,IT'S NO SITESEEING TOUR.FOOD FOR THOUGHT. ted

Chy

Hey Tom I'm the female version of you, to a tee!

Welcome to SR, glad your here. Used to live in Scottsdale, when I was a kid.
1840 Rancho Vista, amazing the things you remember from when you were 8! *LOL*

I'm Chy a for real bud beeraholic! Join us in chat for a meeting sometime, you can decide for yourself what you need to do.

Moontime

Some people say non-alcoholics don't question themselves. Others would ask is your life unmanageable? Are you missing work? missing paying the bills? do you need that one drink before you can leave the house, play with the kids, etc...?

msnbuffalo

Hi Scottsdale

I was always a functioning alcoholic. Now I am a recovering alcoholic. I have a great family and job, no DUI's. Eventually the alcohol caught up with me physically. I consumed more like 16 -20 drinks per nite. In the realization I had a problem I few other light bulb moments occured that told me that I was in denial and even though things looked good from the outside, I was in a serious crisis.

What a great post jpal!...

This is kinda emabrassing...I used to tell myself I was OK because I never had blackouts untill another alcoholic explained what a blackout really is. All those times in the morning when I couldn't remember something my wife told me or the end of a TV show/movie...even though I can remember that I was awake, not passed out cold and presumably paying attention...those were blackouts and I had been having them more and more...just my two cents.

Mike

In memory of miracle

I know for myself that learning about alcoholism has been a very powerful tool in my recovery.I heard that this is the only disease that tells me I dont have one.Sounds like you already know about the denial thing.Have you considered going to an open meeting of AA? Maybe not drink for 90 days than decide?I gotta tell you from my experience people who dont have a problem usually dont post on an alcoholism board.I say usually,I dont know you.Just something for you to think about.I would have considered my self VERY blessed if I could have stopped in my drinking where you are now...Peace and Prayers to you! Trish.

mountaingirl

Hey Tom - welcome.

I am glad that you are looking into this for yourself. You're right that there are a lot ot litmus tests available to see if you fall in the alcoholic category. I too went around looking at such quizes. Sometimes I qualified and other times I didn't, but I neither felt safer or surer either way.
When I chose to quit drinking, it wasn't because I had determined I was an alcoholic. Infact, I still don't feel the need to use that term, but so many people do. I just knew that moderation was not working. I was constantly breaking promises to myself. That was my "bottom" - I wasn't willing to live dishonestly with myself!
If you find that you can't limit yourself to 4 beers a night or less, you ought to quit for a while, as has been suggested, just to get your grip back. Since you work out, I know you know how it feels to be well. Guess what? Mornings can be like that too! And its incredible feeling this free.
So glad you are here.

Dan

[QUOTE] That MG is a statement so pure and simple, yet it speaks volumes.
Thank you.

Don S

Hi, Tom,
The term alcoholic has so many definitions, we could go on and on and on and on and on about it (and have).
You're a heavy drinker. If you don't want to quit drinking, you might want to look into the health effects of drinking heavily every day and consider moderation. The cumulative effects on the liver and heart would concern me, regardless of your liver function test.
You might make a list of the benefits you feel drinking provides, and a list of the costs it is incurring. Can you get those benefits some other way? Would half as much alcohol provide the same benefits? Can you mitigate the costs without quitting drinking?
Or, to put it another way: why do you drink 7 - 9 beers a night?
Don S

fuster

Tom:

From what you wrote your life is just peachy. However, there must be more to it. Someone who has everything going fine does not search the web for a site like this one and type a long message asking if folks think they are an alcoholic.

Have you tried to stop drinking? You say you do a lot of healthy things like work out, meditate and you pay out of your pocket (I assume, since you did not say a doctor ordered it) for liver function tests to be run (why, may I ask?). If you want to help yourself answer the question ("am I an alcoholic?"), and your own answer is more important than what I think, then try stopping drinking. If you work out, meditate, etc, you get no health benefit from consuming a substance that kills brain cells and over loads the liver's processes. Stop, and see if you can stay stopped, not just for a few days or weeks, but indefinitely. If you can't, well, you might just post here again with an update.

Then look at your behavior, and see what others around you are doing (are they acting like you are acting irritable, etc.?). If you become irritable, overreact, feel depressed, or have other behaviors or feelings that seem out of kilter, you may conclude you have a problem, and maybe you would be correct.

Or, have a certified substance abuse specialist give you an assessment, they can tell you better.

I was like you, working out, very healthy. But I wanted to eliminate alcohol for dietary reasons, it was not doing any good nutritionally, and I saw no reason why I could not just stop drinking. I tried many times, but could only manage to stop for a month (that was the longest time). I started to think (to myself) that I had a problem. It took another 6 years before I did anything about it, and by then things had gone way south on me (a story for another thread) as far as my drinking (and by then, resumed drug consumption).

americanlawn

Tom - I would take some of the "above advice" with a 'grain of salt". While I totally repect this site and all involved, you should keep in mind that site seems (in my oppinion) to be in the business of treating alcoholism. "Alcoholism" has many many definitions (depending upon which source of information one chooses). I am 50 years old and a "professional" living in Des Moines, Iowa. I own my own sucessful business (valued at 1.6 million dollars). I too still drink "beers" probably 4 nights out of 7 (only after my workday ends). Usually 6 or 10 - sometimes more (I switched to 'light beer' a year ago so it takes more "light beers" to get a "buzz"). I enjoy drinking beer (probably because I can drink beers over a 4 or 5 hour period, enjoying the mild effect, relaxing me after a day of much stress). I own my own business - 3000 customers, 12 employees (who by the way all drink beer - or even "worse"). Yet I see "problems", and it's not with you! Replys from this website to you include: "welcome to sober recovery", "God", "What prompted you"?, "seek help", "What brought you here?", "tolerence level", "concern"....Now I "may" be "reading between the lines", but I have formed an oppinion (the best I can with the "information provided"). FACT: I have missed 1 1/2 days of work over the past 28 years (it was due to woman problems), FACT: I have never missed work due to "drinking" or illness, FACT: I have worked 45 to 85 hours a week for the past 28 years, FACT: my wife - she is sick or misses work (on average) 5 to 6 WEEKS each year!!! And you know what...SHE DOESN"T DRINK! I have documentation (work records) to back up everything I've said. Like I say: consider the source, then take it with a grain of salt. Best wishes.

Dan

This thread hasn't been active for almost three and a half months.
I think Tom made his mind up.

mountaingirl

americanlawn

I truly mean no offense toward ANYONE, as everyone on this site is here to either seek help, ideas, suggestions, or else help others in need. I may have over eexagerated the number of "beers" I consume, but I hope my point was made - if a person is "responsible" - that's all that matters. Everybody has faults, and sometimes "drinking" is incorrectly diagnosed as the easy "culprit". Best wishes to all, and if you are "drinking unresponsibly", make some changes - you deserve it. God bless.