Last chance
 

I had a pretty bad relapse this weekend. Very close to ruining the best relationship I have with my boyfriend of 6 years. Once I start drinking, I don't stop until it gets really bad. I think I have finally hit rock bottom. Actually, thank God for that because I need a swift kick in the butt. BF finally went to his parents about me. He was considering leaving me but we talked it out. Gave away all of our alcohol in the house. If BF wants to drink, he will do it elsewhere but he is going to quit for awhile so I can get my life in order. I can't dwell in the past but I really hope that this is it.

Good choice! It is or can be the last time. Do whatever it takes to stop. You have over 100 posts and so you know how SR works. Post when you need it and before you drink. I stuck close to this board and knew certain people would help me through the moments I needed to get through. If SR is not working then you will have to find other options. Good luck! :)

Sounds like all the pieces are in place for you now Patty - everyone and everything around you is aligned for success. Now YOU just need to make the commitment to yourself to go forward. Have you considered support groups to help this time around ( AA, AVRT, SR, etc.. )? Best of luck and keep posting.

How does AVRT work? I have goggled it a few times but I don't get very far with it. Is it an online thing or are there meetings to go to? Maybe I can't find a lot because there isn't anything in my area.

I'm nervous about going to an AA meeting. I work at a private, Catholic grade school and would just die if any parent saw me there. They would probably feel the same way but parents are very chatty in schools, let alone a private one with high-powered families. I know that I need this to be successful but I can't stand the fact of running into people I know. There are a ton in my area so it's stupid for me to not attend meetings.

Hi patty - I'm glad you've decided to reclaim your life. I always thought alcohol was making my life more fun & exciting, but in the end it was nothing but misery. You can do it this time and never go back to those sad old days. We're with you.

You've made a couple "this is the last time" promises. I'm not saying this to throw it in your face. I've done it too, relapsed and promised to never relapse again.

Vows don't last. The hard work of recovery does. If you want this to be the last time, I hope you will consider doing something different. It doesn't have to be AA, but with AA, there are people there to guide you.

AVRT works for many, but as you said, you didn't get far with it.

Don't be too quick to dismiss something that really could make this your last relapse.

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

check out this forum patty. There are no meetings. AVRT stands for Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.

You know when your MIND says - I want a drink, go buy some drink.

But YOU say - I don't want to, I don't want to drink.

What your mind is saying is your AV - Your Addictive Voice. It desperately wants you to go and get that drink to ease it's pain and wanting. Whereas you, yourself doesn't want to do it.

It leads to a complete inner turmoil. One one hand I want to drink. On the other hand I don't want to drink.

Once you can recognise the 2, separate them and stop the thoughts with a no I do not want to drink it is IT the Beast (who speaks through your AV) that wants a drink then you can work on how to shut that Beast up and tell it no. IT is not in control. YOU are.

Google 'crash course AVRT' and then you will have more knowledge and be able to decide if it's for you or not.

I'm not the best at explaining these things! Have a look at the forum and the website, it's quite simple to understand really :)

Patty:

In regards to worrying about someone at AA seeing you, frankly they are all alcoholics too so they are in the exact same boat you are in. And the second "A" stands for Anonymous - meaning that it's just as important for them to keep anonymity about you as it would be for you to remain anonymous about them.

And frankly, what's more important to you - getting sober, or caring about what other people think of you? As much as we try to hide that we are alcoholics, people know it - I can guarantee you that. So would you rather be known as a practicing alcoholic, or a recovering alcoholic?

Regarding other support groups, I know that my local are has SMART recovery meetings face to face too - so depending on where you live, you might be able to find something besides AA if that doesn't work - but you should at least give it a try. And i'm not saying that because I'm in AA ( i'm not ) but you won't know until you go right?

Best of luck!