brazzaville

I had managed 9 weeks without a drink and then on Saturday I lapsed at a family reunion. I got drunk really quickly on beer and wine, didn't really enjoy the drinking, went to sleep early and woke up feeling terrible. During the 9 weeks of sobriety, I had no huge cravings and very much enjoyed sobriety. Although I felt physically and mentally awful on Sunday, I realised that my fantasies about how much I enjoyed drinking are false. I didn't enjoy it and I certainly didn't enjoy the next day. I'm back to day three now but I'm looking at it in a different way, one that takes into consideration the 9 sober weeks. I learnt a lot during those weeks and having a sober evening is now the norm rather than the exception - it used to be vice versa.

I have learnt that the biggest lie my AV tells me is how much fun drinking is - it isn't. I didn't even enjoy the feeling of the first couple of drinks. I'm ashamed of my relapse and glad to be back on the juice, water and tea.

My message to everyone today, especially those who have managed to stop for a while but are wondering what it would feel like to drink again - it feels bad. Really bad. It feels like you are being poisoned. It makes you talk rubbish and do things you regret. If you have ever been a speed drinker like me, the chances are you will speed drink again. It makes you feel ill, depressed and anxious the next day. Take my word for it!

Good luck to all of you

Brazzaville

Easyrider

Thanks a lot for that. It feels like you're being poisoned because you are being poisoned!

hypochondriac

It's funny isn't it, you never here stories about people saying they were really glad they started drinking again, 'I'd been sober for months but decided to have a few beers and it was the best thing I've ever done, can't believe what I was missing out on all that time' You'd think we'd all learn from other people's experiences. Glad you're back on track x