JBird100

I am 39 days sober and having a heck of a time getting over my depression. This last relapse scared the crap out of me. It's like I woke up and realized the damage I was doing to friends and family and myself. I feel just horrible. It's gotten a little bit better but I have never felt so much like a loser. How could I have let this go on for so long?

doggonecarl

You are here, you are almost 40 days sober.

Sounds like you are a winner to me.

ScottFromWI

Jbird - have you seen a doctor about it? Clinical depression is treatable and diagnosable.

Regarding the past, you can't change it no matter how much you worry about it. The best move is to be honest with those you've hurt and move forward with your recovery. You getting better is the very best thing that can happen to make amends for the past - for both you and those around you. Work on things you can change - the rest will take care of itself.

Valll

Sorry that you feel bad JBird - please try to be kind to yourself as you are doing your best and as Carl said 40 days aint bad at all! Very good infact.

Are you getting any help with your depression?

take carex

tomb

I know the remorse you are feeling as I feel the same. But we have to move on and the best way to do it is to be sober

2granddaughters

As soon as I got active in AA those feelings began to leave. The Promises began to come true.

The Promises, that are read in many A.A. Meetings can be found on page 83-84, of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.
THE A.A. PROMISES

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.



All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

Hey Jbird

I felt like that too - I was starting to obsess over the thoughtless, selfish, stupid and just plain bad stuff I'd done as a drinker...

The fact is - it's gone. We can't change it...not one second.
We have to accept that.

Whats worse is the amount of time we spend in the past can take us away from our present - and thats where our new life, and our redemption, lies

If you're really having trouble with letting go I recommend counselling - it really helped me

congratulations on 39 days - awesome!

D

wiscsober

keep us updated

awuh1

Hope this article helps Ernest Kurtz, Shame & Guilt

least

It's normal to feel regret and remorse after getting sober. I sure did. But with time it will pass, and if it doesn't, then see your doctor about your depression. I also recommend counseling, it did wonders for me.

DisplacedGRITS

until you're able to get right with yourself, you're not going to be able to ask forgiveness from others. you have to be able to forgive yourself first. otherwise, you won't be able to take in that forgiveness other people give you because you'll still be angry with you. i'm with 2granddaughters on this. i'm getting back to AA. a Fourth Step, while painful, would probably do you a lot of good. i'm scared silly of when i do mine but i'm also looking forward to it. "Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." it makes you lay yourself out bare and look at yourself. all the things you've hidden and are ashamed of, you set down on paper. then in Step 5 you admit to yourself, God (of your understanding) and another human being the exact nature of your wrongs. in Step 6 you are entirely ready to have your God remove your shortcomings. Steps 4, 5 and 6 are a real cleansing of the soul. steps 1, 2 and 3 are the steps you have to take to get you ready to give yourself over to your God's will and to develop the spiritual relationship you'll need to do the other steps. i'm just getting back into AA and that's what i've learned so far after about 30 hours of speaker tapes, lol. i made a half-ass attempt at aa last year. "Half measures availed us nothing." damn tootin' right. hope this helps.