My Biological Blessing
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Between the Moon & the Stars
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My Biological Blessing
This Thursday, my only child, a daughter, turns 21. For some reason there's something about her finally being legally of age to drink that's been on my mind.
Her father and I divorced when she was a year old. I never remarried for various reasons, so it was just me and her all these years.
This girl spent her first 18 years with an active alcoholic mother. I first realized I had a drinking problem in 1997, when she was 5 years old. I was drinking every day and had suicidal thoughts constantly. Life was hard. I was beyond miserable but not willing to help myself.
There are entirely too many instances of how I hurt her. I started my efforts to live a sober life when she was 18. Obviously she was thrilled.
My relapse in November hurt her so much. She said these words to me: Mom, please just be happy.
That's it. She wants happiness for me.
I am so fortunate and blessed that she has remained in my life and that we are closer than ever. I have forgiven myself for the past. I will certainly fail if I ruminate on the years I wasn't truly present in her life.
I'm sorry I've been so wordy but here's my message to all of you parents:
Don't give up. Ever. Your children love you. They just want you to be happy. They want what every child wants - to be loved by their parent. It may seem bleak if you're just beginning your journey. But if you try your best, your child/ren will be your biggest cheerleader.
No matter how far you fell into alcohol, there is a way out. My daughter was raised by an alcoholic, yet she still loves me. I will attempt to show her as often as possible that I'm sober and that I'm happy. Truly, truly happy.
By the way, I'm taking my daughter to her birthday lunch on Thursday. How ironic is it that she's basing the restaurant on the type of drink she can order??? She isn't much of a drinker, it's more the fact she can actually order something now. And she'll have her very own designated driver.....me! LOL.
Her father and I divorced when she was a year old. I never remarried for various reasons, so it was just me and her all these years.
This girl spent her first 18 years with an active alcoholic mother. I first realized I had a drinking problem in 1997, when she was 5 years old. I was drinking every day and had suicidal thoughts constantly. Life was hard. I was beyond miserable but not willing to help myself.
There are entirely too many instances of how I hurt her. I started my efforts to live a sober life when she was 18. Obviously she was thrilled.
My relapse in November hurt her so much. She said these words to me: Mom, please just be happy.
That's it. She wants happiness for me.
I am so fortunate and blessed that she has remained in my life and that we are closer than ever. I have forgiven myself for the past. I will certainly fail if I ruminate on the years I wasn't truly present in her life.
I'm sorry I've been so wordy but here's my message to all of you parents:
Don't give up. Ever. Your children love you. They just want you to be happy. They want what every child wants - to be loved by their parent. It may seem bleak if you're just beginning your journey. But if you try your best, your child/ren will be your biggest cheerleader.
No matter how far you fell into alcohol, there is a way out. My daughter was raised by an alcoholic, yet she still loves me. I will attempt to show her as often as possible that I'm sober and that I'm happy. Truly, truly happy.
By the way, I'm taking my daughter to her birthday lunch on Thursday. How ironic is it that she's basing the restaurant on the type of drink she can order??? She isn't much of a drinker, it's more the fact she can actually order something now. And she'll have her very own designated driver.....me! LOL.
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