Azraehl

I have been using opiates on and off (mostly on though) for about a year now. I have a medical issue which causes moderate pain in the joints of both of my feet up to and including my knees and sadly I had to take work a few years ago in a manufacturing plant where I am on my feet for 12 hours at a time.
The last few months I have been blowing through my prescription in 2 weeks instead of making them last the month and acquiring more from people at work to sustain me till the next appointment.
I made the decision last week that I would rather be in pain and have my dignity and life back than have this shame I feel of being an addict.

Thursday the 21st at noon I took my last pill. I have poured over post after post and had no idea the recovery process was going to take so long. Fortunately for me, I don't have the common physical withdrawl symptoms most people are describing. My issue seems to be with an inability to sleep and the biggest issue is EXTREME depression. exacerbated by the fact that my wife and I recently separated after 15 years and I am living completely by myself for the first time since i can remember. I lay in bed and my mind races and I just mentally beat myself up for hours on end till I finally doze for an hour or 2 and then wake up. I am so lonely and sad and full of despair that i am considering buying a cat.. and I really don't like cats heh.

I am supposed to be going to work in 2 hours and I have had less than 3 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. I am worried I am going to start suffering from sleep deprivation.. I went through that once before and in my current state I don't know if I would make it through that.

Anyway.. just thought I would introduce myself. My thoughts and prayers go out to all who are suffering.

-Az