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Old 02-22-2013, 06:45 PM
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First post.

Hi all, So far, the hardest part about making my first post is where to start. I feel if I got a good enough head of steam going it would be a post that would take a couple of hours to read. Plus I'd re-read and re-edit. Started drinking when I was a teen (16) mostly beer. I was one of those kids that could spend many an hour getting wasted (beer and pot). Joined the Navy, got married, etc.. I didn't realize I had a problem until a few years ago, but because I was drinking, it didn't bother me. I was in control. Sitting in the pilots seat behind my eyes, I was just buzzed, not drunk. Took a seven month sabbatical (deployed to Kuwait) and didn't seem to miss drinking too much. Got back to the states and started drinking again. Mostly in my room by myself. Every few months I'd set a limit for my self. Okay, I'm going to cut it down to only four beers a night, then five, then six, then I stopped setting limits. Last June I was up to 7 or 8 a night, every night. Since I was a home brewer I could brew beer that had a higher alcohol content. I could get buzzed faster, while drinking less! I was lying to my wife about how many beers I'd had. I work a rotating shift at my job. I would justify having four beers early in the day to help me get to sleep before my midnight shift. I kept a supply of cheap beer hidden so it only looked like I was having a few. Then I had to hide the empties. Before my deployment/medical hold was over and I moved back to NY I felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest, but it went away and I ignored it. Last June my plan was to spend the day geting my eye exam then go to the reg Dr. for a yearly physical. Eye exam went okay, but the MD's office said my ECG showed a problem. I was in atrial fibrillation and needed to get to the ER as quickly as possible. I spent three days in the hospital and another six weeks waiting to have my heart shocked back into a normal sinus rhythm. That lasted almost exactly a month. I lied to the Dr's when they asked how much I drank, just a couple... I've stopped denying to myself that there was any other reason that I was in this condition. I'm still drinking, but have cut down to 4/5 a night. I've also spent more nights sober in the past three months (about 14) than I'd had for the previous six years. Before December I hadn't been sober at all since I got home from deployment in '06. I've found that when I work an eve shift it doesn't bother me that I can't drink and when I get home I don't want to drink. I would've never passed up the opportunity to drink before. I've read a lot of horror stories and hopefull stories here and they've helped me to put things in perspective. Okay, I think that's enough for now. I've had to re-login four times and am getting frustrated. Thanks everybody who's shared.
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Old 02-22-2013, 06:51 PM
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Welcome to the family. We're so glad you found us.

Thank you for sharing what it's been like for you. I was older, too, when I finally took a hard look at what drinking was doing to me. I was a mess - and drinking all day. It was bringing me only misery - no happiness, fun, or relaxation like it did long ago. It was so hard to admit those days were never coming back. It was slowly killing me. When I found SR, knowing I wasn't alone anymore made a huge difference to me. I was instantly comforted and less anxious. I hope you'll find it does the same for you.

THANK YOU for your service.
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Old 02-22-2013, 07:41 PM
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Welcome and thank you for serving our country.
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Old 02-22-2013, 07:50 PM
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Welcome needing2change

sorry about the log in problems - make sure you have the remember me box ticked when you sign in - it usually helps keep you signed in

SR helped me turn things around - the support is amazing - I know you'll find the same

D
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:11 PM
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Glad you are on here. There is much support. I don't thin I would have made it through a home detoxing last weekend if I had not lived on this forum. I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin, could not sleep and had revolving sweats and chills. Each time I thought I would take a drink to calm my nerves I got on the forum and read everyone's stories until the urge passed. I feel pretty good now and am on my way to a better life. Take heart and plug into whatever support system you have.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:30 PM
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Welcome to SR, needing2change! Your drinking sounds a lot like mine before I took that first step. I even brewed my own beer for a while. I am happy you're here, reading your story has helped keep me sober. Thank you for your service to our country!
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Old 02-23-2013, 05:15 AM
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Needing2change,

have a long story to share? there's an "app for that"! lol

blog it here on SR! No story is too long or unworthy of being shared. Blogging helps US get it out into a form we can see and come back to when we needed to be reminded of where we've been, but it also allows others to relate.

Every member of SR can blog here. I hope you'll take advantage of that.
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Old 02-23-2013, 05:48 AM
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Welcome
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Old 02-23-2013, 06:10 AM
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I also welcome you and appreciate your service.

I understand what you're going through. We share a commonality and that is our body suffered repercussions from our drinking that said RED FLAG!

Legal problems, mental problems, family/relationship problems -- well they come along too eventually. But when the body gives out there is no more comfort in drinking.

I used to have heart palpitations and sweats at night from drinking too much. Then I gave myself a nasty stomach ulcer and it is very painful. To make matters worse I developed a bacterial infection which requires lots of meds to clear. Consequently drinking aggravates the daylights out of it. Now I have no choice but follow dietary restrictions and not imbibe. So not even a little. Nada. Drove me crazy at first. But I'm here too for support so I can heal my mind/body and not return to destroying by poor body. It's been through enough.

I hope you return to good health and keep coming back...
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Old 02-23-2013, 02:14 PM
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First of all, thanks to all those who responded. Dee74 thanks for the website help. I'm typing this while I'm at work. I was afraid a co-worker might pass by and see.
I eventually realized that my heart condition was from what is called, "Holiday Heart." "Alcohol consumed in large quantities for many years has long been recognized to induce an alcoholic cardiomyopathy." Apparently since I haven't given my heart a long enough break, it never got the chance to get back to a normal sinus rhythm. I'm not saying if I stop drinking it'll return on it's own, but if I don't, I know for sure it won't.
Threshold, my concern about writing my long post would be flow. It's probably like writing a book. Write down the chapters then concentrate on one chapter after the other. I just don't want it to start to wander away from a point.
I've been waking up for a few months (or more. I don't remember when it started) in the middle of the night sweating and having difficulty getting back to sleep. Not so the past few days. The sweating is less and it's been easier to get back to sleep. Although I was cranky and disagreeable yesterday.
Okay, time to take a break.

Last edited by needing2change; 02-23-2013 at 02:16 PM. Reason: Accidentally hit the post button instead of preview
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