RocketQueen

Cant deal with this anymore. Had enough and just flat out don't care.

Good luck to everyone on your journeys. My thoughts are with you

RQ

LSC1

Rocket stick with us

Dee74

I hope you change your mind RQ.

It's not over until you decide it is...if you walk away from recovery now the same things that bought you here are sure to happen again.

However bad today has been, it's just one day - it's not the way things will always be

don't let your inner addict talk you down

D

Jeni26

I posted something very similar on May 25th last year.

I listened to others who told me it would get better. I haven't had a drink since and you know what? They were right. It has.

Stay with us. You can do this xxx

RocketQueen

I think that to do it, you have to want it. I dont want it. I hate it and dont have the strength to wait until it starts getting better.

Dee74

Like I said, I hope you change your mind.
Think about it, none of us would still be in recovery if it didn't get better.

It does, and it will - but it will take a little time.

This is you three weeks ago
That starting again never gets easier....it gets harder

You definitely will not regret not writing yourself off tonight when you wake up tomorrow.

We'll be here no matter what you decide RQ

take care,
D

Jeni26

How long have you been in recovery RQ? What have you got in the way of support?

I'm thinking as you're posting here, that you care very much. There is a little bit of you that hasn't given up yet. You do want it.

Listen to that part of you. It does get easier. A sober life is far better than a drunk one x

wellwisher

Hi RocketQueen...

I also hope you reconsider.

Did something happen recently that has you feelling like giving up on giving up?

neferkamichael

RocketQueen, never give up, never surrender. You can do it. Rootin for ya.

FeelingGreat

Hey RQ, you're not having a little tantrum by any chance? I mean you could have just quietly faded away, and no-one would be the wiser. Why did you post? Because as caring and wise as this community is, they can't do it for you.
We'll be here if you change your mind.

Applecrumble

We care, Rocket. We can be your strength until you start to find it yourself. Weird but true

And it's worth it. Perhaps not in the ways we expect but it's worth it

Nonsensical

That voice in the head is an insipid cuss. It's hard to share your head with a liar. Really, really hard. She'll lie to you so many times you can lose track of the truth. The truth is YOU want it, or you wouldn't have come here.

Another truth is, we want you back, and we'll be right here whenever you feel like coming back. The sooner the better. God bless.

RocketQueen

Of course I was having a tantrum. Thank you for stating the obvious. I'm not quite sure what your point is. Are you suggesting that I was just looking for attention? True, I could have just left and no one would have been the wiser, but last I checked, this was a forum for support. Clearly, I need support and not someone telling me to just "fade away" and no one would have even noticed. I mean, REALLY? I have literally no one around me who even knows that I'm in recovery, and if I want to vent and post my intentions wishing everyone well, who are you to suggest that my actions were questionable? Secondly, I never asked anyone to do anything for me, so goodness knows where that came from.

As it would happen, I got a lot of support from various people, and have been chatting to one particular person for the last few hours who managed to calm me down and got me through yet another night. If I had just "faded away" I guarantee you that tonight would not have ended as well as it did. So, in that sense, whatever you assumed my intentions were, this post got me over a hurdle and I don't regret it for one second.

Huglets

Hi RocketQueen! SO glad you had someone to help you get through your night.

This recovery business is hard work. I get tired about it too. I love to stomp my feet and stick out my lower lip. I'm a pro at it.....and it's not very attractive for a 45 year old!

Keep doing your best. Utilize your support system and keep posting here. These fine folks have helped me get through many bad days.

doggonecarl

Congrats on getting through the night. When you came here you cared about quitting. Unfortunately, your addiction sees it another way. Well done on not giving up, because once you do, a pattern gets established.

I think you said in an earlier post, this was your first "real" attempt. Good for you. I attempted to quit for years and after failing assumed I would drink until I died. Yet here I am, sober for over two years, much of it due to the good folks here on SR who told me to keep sober, no matter what.

Stick with sobriety, please. It's worth it.

Bluetiger

There have been days I feel like throwing in the towel. I wonder all the time if the promises do come true. The truth is there is no guarantee that things will get better but I can guarantee you that drinking or druggin will make things worse. We work so hard to get a day. Then get two or three and after a while a month or so and it keeps going. Your worth it so keep fighting keep trying and use the tools.

Pondlady

RQ,
Good for you. So glad you reached out and someone helped, that's how it's supposed to work Keep with us.

fini

RocketQueen,
the will-thing...i spent years with that, trying to do this by will alone. and i couldn't.
what Dee said: knowing who i was/am. not in the "well-****-it-all-i'm-a-drunk-so-i'll-just-keep-drinking" way, but more like: "oh1 i see...i really see! i'm an alcoholic. oh! ****! this is why i..."
in terms of will, i had will, but it was divided. i couldn't access the power to stop until i understood who i was.
and often, like you, i'd say "i don't want it", and that seemed convincingly true at the time, but what was more true was that i didn't know how, was scared to find out, it was too tough to keep going, i was going to damn well impose control and prove i could, and...

good to see you're still here, RQ.

Dee74

I'm glad you're still here too RQ.

And I agree with others here - you were struggling you reached out, you got through it. That's exactly the way this place works.

I'd hate for anyone here to be discouraged from doing that.

D

MyTimeNow

So glad you are still here! I was going to reply to the tantrum post earlier but had to head out.

My first thought was Grrrr! Then I thought, actually having a tantrum is no bad thing, getting it out, shouting about it, almost screaming for somebody to help can be very productive... get it all out, let it all out and then there is a certain release.

I wish I'd done this last week.

Well done RQ, I admire you.