Amelia99

So obviously when things don't go well at work or in my life, it's stressful for me, and that's expected. But this week, I've had a couple of lucky breaks and well I'm just performing well at work and in general and I've suddenly found myself getting all kinds of praise for it. The thing is, though, it's making me extremely uncomfortable. Like I don't deserve it or don't belong here. I start sweating, getting anxiety, and can't think straight and suddenly I want a drink, more than I've wanted one at any other time during this first month.

I'm not going to drink but I am frustrated and I feel so crazy. Shouldn't I be able to enjoy this? It's like I'd rather be unsuccessful and unnoticed than do well and be praised, but I know thinking this way is no way to happiness. Anyone else experience this?

Dee74

I never felt comfortable when things were going well or I was getting praise - I always felt like I was going to be exposed as a faker and not very good worker/person I feared I was.

It's nonsense - even if it feels real - it's nonsense

Sounds like you deserve all the good things coming to you - don't let fear bring you down

You're still early in the recovery game -you will learn to deal with all kinds of situations sober - stick with it

D

mecanix

I think for me nearly everything was a trigger in the first few months .
You should have seen me deliberately rushing past, not looking down the alcohol aisle in the supermarket when shopping for the first 2 months

For me it had changed a whole lot after the first 3 months and then even more after about 6 months .

Keep on knocking out those days ...

Bestwishes , M

markinsf

I've been in management almost all my life. A fault of most managers is that they don't know they need to give praise for good performance. So it would seem to me that you've done something noteworthy and as such deserve such praise. Accept it for face value and take it as a compliment as it was surely given to you as such. It is perhaps a new experience for you and that is understandable. Keep up the good work and you'll get more. As time goes on it will turn into a very positive experience for you I am sure.

Good job btw.

sugarbear1

Feeling good, feeling okay, it was all so unreal in the beginning and I found myself trying to sabotage things.

Like you, I didn't feel that I deserved this.

It was uncomfortable, it didn't sit right, I wasn't used to it.

Be uncomfortable with it for as long as you need to, but please don't drink over it.

You do deserve this. Just go with the flow and soon it will be more natural to you than feeling horrible (which was how I felt when I drank and that WAS comfortable to me....).

You are healing. It's going to be an emotional roller coaster!

MyTimeNow

Speaking from personal experience - we (the mess ups!) are not used to good things happening to us, we don't feel deserving, we often don't even allow good things to happen to us because that keeps us in our comfort zone.

You are doing well, it is being recognised, this is just the start of you reaching your true potential I say. Grab it, see it, keep it, enjoy and move forward with it.

What's the alternative? The comfortable self loathing? I know which I'd prefer (and it isn't comfortable )