Admit that I need help :-(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 53
Admit that I need help :-(
Hi all, my name is Lilly. I am 24. Last Friday I went out for yet again some drinks however as per usual I can never stop. I carry on on my own to the point where I have blackouts. I have no idea what I do during these blackouts other then my partner telling me that by the time I got home I looked possessed and made no sense - my clothes were ripped etc. this seems to happen every weekend. I realised on Monday that I have a serious problem and if I do not address it now it will become too late. I have found a aa meeting this Friday to attend however I am worried that as I do not drink every day (binge drink at weekends to the point of passing out) they may not see me as an issue as such. If anyone could reassure me and confirm I do have an issue. I want help. I have not had a drink since last Friday. However it is only Wednesday and the weekend will soon be here. I thought the meeting would help and have arranged a sober weekend with my partner. (My partner is being very supportive and will even come to the meetings with me) thank you for reading this.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
If you think your drinking is a problem, then it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks.
AA members won't tell you you don't belong there because you don't drink every day, don't worry about that.
The trend is for problem drinking to get worse over time. This was definitely true for me. I wish I had looked for help when I was just a weekend binger.
Go get them! You can do this!
AA members won't tell you you don't belong there because you don't drink every day, don't worry about that.
The trend is for problem drinking to get worse over time. This was definitely true for me. I wish I had looked for help when I was just a weekend binger.
Go get them! You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 53
Hi nonsensical. Thank you for your reply. You are right, I know I have a problem and unless I get help now I know it is going to end up bad. My mum and grandad are both alcoholics and I do not want to go the same way.
I am so glad the meeting is held on Friday. Rather then my normal walk to the pub I will be off to start my road to recovery.
I am going to find it very difficult when I have social events to attend. So this forum should help me when I feel the need to drink :-) very happy I came across it.
I am so glad the meeting is held on Friday. Rather then my normal walk to the pub I will be off to start my road to recovery.
I am going to find it very difficult when I have social events to attend. So this forum should help me when I feel the need to drink :-) very happy I came across it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Hi Lily
It sounds like you are in the UK?
I thought from you using the word 'mum'?
I'm in the UK too and there are lots and lots of us here.
I am sure they will be along to say hi as well as other well wishers from round the world.
I suffered a lot of blackouts.
They are scary and I could never predict when they would happen. It sometimes made no difference how much I drank.
I probably got myself in some dangerous situations that I would never get into when sober.
Alcoholism or problem drinking usually progresses, meaning it might start with binging on a weekend, but then you might start having a few on a monday to kill your hangover. Then start on a thursday as it is almost the weekend.
I am probably best known for saying the following - finding a label for your drinking (binge, problem,all day, alcoholic) does not really matter. You can spend years trying to define what you are. If drinking makes you unhappy then that is all that matters and should be good enough reason for you to stop and seek help in how to stop if you need it.
I have been stopped for over a year now, mostly with the help of here. I have a little daughter and work full time so I don't often get to attend AA.
However, knowing what I know now, I wish I had invested more time in understanding and educating myself about alcohol and the dangers when I was younger when I had more free time.
You might feel like your world is coming to an end, but I think you are in a brilliant position. You are young with exciting years ahead of you. You have a supportive partner who wants to see you get better.
So go to AA. Listen. Say hi. Learn what you can. Attend a few more meetings to get a feel as no two are the same. Keep busy, which was one of the key things I had to do to stop myself thinking about drink and read and learn as much as you can here.
Let us know how you get on!
Got everything crossed for you!
It sounds like you are in the UK?
I thought from you using the word 'mum'?
I'm in the UK too and there are lots and lots of us here.
I am sure they will be along to say hi as well as other well wishers from round the world.
I suffered a lot of blackouts.
They are scary and I could never predict when they would happen. It sometimes made no difference how much I drank.
I probably got myself in some dangerous situations that I would never get into when sober.
Alcoholism or problem drinking usually progresses, meaning it might start with binging on a weekend, but then you might start having a few on a monday to kill your hangover. Then start on a thursday as it is almost the weekend.
I am probably best known for saying the following - finding a label for your drinking (binge, problem,all day, alcoholic) does not really matter. You can spend years trying to define what you are. If drinking makes you unhappy then that is all that matters and should be good enough reason for you to stop and seek help in how to stop if you need it.
I have been stopped for over a year now, mostly with the help of here. I have a little daughter and work full time so I don't often get to attend AA.
However, knowing what I know now, I wish I had invested more time in understanding and educating myself about alcohol and the dangers when I was younger when I had more free time.
You might feel like your world is coming to an end, but I think you are in a brilliant position. You are young with exciting years ahead of you. You have a supportive partner who wants to see you get better.
So go to AA. Listen. Say hi. Learn what you can. Attend a few more meetings to get a feel as no two are the same. Keep busy, which was one of the key things I had to do to stop myself thinking about drink and read and learn as much as you can here.
Let us know how you get on!
Got everything crossed for you!
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 86
AA has been wonderful for me. No judgement, no dictating whether you are or are not an alcoholic. If you think you have a problem with alcohol and want to stop, you are welcome to attend. Way better to talk and remember the conversation in the morning and have friends that are not conditionally available. I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Western New York
Posts: 375
Welcome Lilly! I have a similar pattern, I don't drink everyday but oftentimes when I do I end up blacking out and embarrassing myself, or worse. I know I have a problem that will only get worse with time. Now is the best time to quit! You can do it, and you have found a great place for support and encouragement.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 53
Hi all..wow the support here is great! I did not expect any replies if I am honest!
@sasha4 yes I am from the UK. Thank you for your kind words and well done on 1 year being sober! Wow a year without a drink seems very scary to me. My heart is set on this. I have lost many friends, respect and most of all myself since I have got into this mess. To be honest I have also started drinking during the week - not every week but it's starting and I can see it increasing.
I have told myself I am not drinking this coming up weekend and always I started to feel worried and scared. So have decided to take every day as it comes! I will of course let you know how I get on. Would be great to make some friends from the group as well.
Thanks for everyone else's comments too. I feel wry welcomed into this forum 😃
@sasha4 yes I am from the UK. Thank you for your kind words and well done on 1 year being sober! Wow a year without a drink seems very scary to me. My heart is set on this. I have lost many friends, respect and most of all myself since I have got into this mess. To be honest I have also started drinking during the week - not every week but it's starting and I can see it increasing.
I have told myself I am not drinking this coming up weekend and always I started to feel worried and scared. So have decided to take every day as it comes! I will of course let you know how I get on. Would be great to make some friends from the group as well.
Thanks for everyone else's comments too. I feel wry welcomed into this forum 😃
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 29
Hi Lilly I,went to treatment @ 22 oh how I wish I stayed,you are so lucky x go for it Hun and give it your all 
I am back sober now but I really could have done without the past 10 YEARS of drinking.... Won't go into details but as the old cliche goes,if I knew then what I know now......good luck and keep around sober,positive people
I am back sober now but I really could have done without the past 10 YEARS of drinking.... Won't go into details but as the old cliche goes,if I knew then what I know now......good luck and keep around sober,positive people
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
My personal definition of an Alcoholic is, "A person who continues to drink despite repeated negative consequences." By my definition you certainly fit
AA literally saved my life when all else had failed. You will meet a group of people who understand what it is like to be you and are the nicest most non-judgmental people you will ever meet. The good news is that they have a way to get off the roller coaster you call your life.
Go to a meeting and let them know it is your first meeting. The member's will take it from there.
AA literally saved my life when all else had failed. You will meet a group of people who understand what it is like to be you and are the nicest most non-judgmental people you will ever meet. The good news is that they have a way to get off the roller coaster you call your life.
Go to a meeting and let them know it is your first meeting. The member's will take it from there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 53
[QUOTE=MIRecovery;3827296]My personal definition of an Alcoholic is, "A person who continues to drink despite repeated negative consequences." By my definition you certainly fit
This is definitely me. The awful things I would do/say whilst going through blackouts I would never dream of doing sober (I find out the next day from people I have been drinking with) I used to laugh it off but have now realised this was more of a defence mechanism.
Will let you all know how the meeting goes. I will log on after as will be going straight home to watch a movie. First Friday with no Alcohol in about 6 years!
This is definitely me. The awful things I would do/say whilst going through blackouts I would never dream of doing sober (I find out the next day from people I have been drinking with) I used to laugh it off but have now realised this was more of a defence mechanism.
Will let you all know how the meeting goes. I will log on after as will be going straight home to watch a movie. First Friday with no Alcohol in about 6 years!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Chorley Lancs
Posts: 9
Hi Lilly,
Well done for recognising the need to change, it's taken me more than twice as long !! - I can totally relate to your Binge Weekend Drinking, for me it goes hand in hand with our Social Nights out, and the next test for me is this Saturday when it's my first 'dance' event sober (now 11 days) and very nervous at the thought of socialising without my usual Bottle and a Half of Wine! - But am focusing on Lookin Good, Dancing - not stumbling and able to talk/remember what I did... and waking up Sunday feeling wonderful, not wretched.
Good Luck
Well done for recognising the need to change, it's taken me more than twice as long !! - I can totally relate to your Binge Weekend Drinking, for me it goes hand in hand with our Social Nights out, and the next test for me is this Saturday when it's my first 'dance' event sober (now 11 days) and very nervous at the thought of socialising without my usual Bottle and a Half of Wine! - But am focusing on Lookin Good, Dancing - not stumbling and able to talk/remember what I did... and waking up Sunday feeling wonderful, not wretched.
Good Luck
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6
Hey Lilly88,
Sounds exciting that you have realised this at a young age. I am 34 and wish I could turn back the clock 10 years to stop my binge drinking. The wrinkles on my face and flabby belly have accumulated since then and I put the majority of that down to booze.
We are all behind you here.... go for it! It will be the smartest thing you can do for yourself. x
Sounds exciting that you have realised this at a young age. I am 34 and wish I could turn back the clock 10 years to stop my binge drinking. The wrinkles on my face and flabby belly have accumulated since then and I put the majority of that down to booze.
We are all behind you here.... go for it! It will be the smartest thing you can do for yourself. x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Only you can decide if you have an issue. In the meantime AA will welcome you. The only prerequisite is a desire to stop drinking, and it doesn't even have to be a sincere desire, so you're off the hook in terms of commitment. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I don't think anyone's going to look askance at you. They've all been there and done that. Plenty of them to further excess than you.
I don't think anyone's going to look askance at you. They've all been there and done that. Plenty of them to further excess than you.
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