Lizella

Any advice on how to do this? No one really knows the extent of my problem so will be surprised to know I've stopped drinking. Where do I start in trying to explain?!

ReadyAtLast

I didn't make a point of telling people,other than my husband. If I'm in a situation where drink is present I just say I'm not drinking. People don't usually press the issue. I don't think people 'get it' so I'm not going to upset myself/stress out trying to explain my problem to them

oinobares

I just tell people I'm working on my health, getting healthy. I was drinking too much for my health, so now I'm not (drinking that is). It conflicts with my health goals. Exercising more, not drinking, watching what I eat--all part of my plan to be healthy. I don't feel the need to go into any lengthy explanations about addiction or alcoholism. In fact all my family members who drink heavily just assume I am "being healthy." They don't think or say, "oh boy, he's an alcoholic." My friends just say: "good for you."

Goose1

Sure this is sensitive for all of us. And I have often thought about how and who I would want to tell that I have stopped drinking. I am no expert. And by all means that is a major issue for me, I mean being able to "stop." For me, it's about who I can trust in supporting me in stopping. A wife or my children or a sister, brother and maybe a close friend. For everyone, their scenerio is probably different in who they want to tell and who really understands. For me, my co-workers, acquaintances, some friends - I would not tell because they probably know I am a drunk and would say - "yeah right." However, lets just say the next time I am at an outing with them and there is booze. And the drinking came up for example; I would simply say I'm not drinking because I'm driving or because I have church in the morning or because, because, because. Any reason that deals with my new structured life. Or I'm going to watch "Chelsea" HaHa! What ever it may be as long as I don't pick up is OK. I hope this helps. In due time, if all those people are still there for you, they will figure it out.

lilyrosemary

you might be surprised at just how little anyone really cares if you are drinking or not.

LadyinBC

My family knows I'm an alcoholic and I've told a few close friends. Other than that, I've told people I'm not drinking due to medication I'm taking.

MIRecovery

I would only confide in a few select people at the beginning because it is easy to say you have stopped drinking but it is much harder to actually accomplish it. As my sobriety increased I became more open. Today everyone that needs to know does and everyone else I just ask for something non-alcoholic. I do not hide it but I do not publicize it either.

As LiLRM says most people just do not care. The ones that care most seem to be the ones who may have a drinking problem themselves

ScottFromWI

You have no obligation to explain anyting to anyone, with the exception of yourself. Those around you who know about your issues don'd need an explanation because they already know why.

If i'm asked I just tell people honestly - I quit drinking because I drink too much and it's bad for me. Making up excuses or lying never helps anything. Your recovery and sobriety is far more important than appeasing other people's curiosity.

Taking5

Im my case, lots of people knew (or suspected) the extent of my problem and this is WHY they were surprised when I quit drinking. We alkies are in real denial of other people's knowledge of our problem, trust me on this.

There is no need to explain. You will get more questions about why you aren't drinking BECAUSE a lot of people knew or suspected that you have a problem, but you are under no obligation to explain anything to them.

Other heavy drinkers will be your worst enemy on this, as seeing someone else quit means they might have to look at their own situation. They may try really hard to get you to drink. Don't do it.

Just keep your head up and let us know how you are doing.

hypochondriac

I had exactly the same situation. Initially I told people I'd given up for lent and then I just said I'd given up. I never let on the extent of my problem and even felt like I was giving too much away if I said it was for health reasons. I did say it was to loose weight, to help me quit smoking etc... One thing I did learn though... I always felt like I had to justify and explain why I wasn't drinking but it really wasn't necessary. I think the look of surprise on people's face's when I told them was just because I had seen it necessary to mention it. Most people do not care if you drink or not. You don't have to explain to anyone x

Lizella

Thanks everyone. This has all been really useful. I think I'm building it up to be something when it probably won't be that big a deal.

ScottFromWI

It's never a bad idea to prepare yourself for the unknown - much better to ask vs. getting in a situation you aren't ready for. Best of luck!

paul99

You're right...most people really don't care one way or another. You'll probably get the same non-plussed reaction as if you announced you were switching from Tide to All-Temperature Cheer.

Dee74

When I stopped I assumed drinking was as big a deal to everyone else as it was to me...so I had these *essays* of explanation ready as to why I wasn't drinking...

It got to the stage where I could see peoples eyes glazing over....lol.

Your old drinking cronies might care, but outside of that most people just don't have that much interest in what I drink at a social function or get-together

Apart from that, it's really noone elses business.

'No thanks' is really all anyone needs to know or hear

D

legna

I explain that I'm allergic to alcohol and it causes me to break out in handcuffs.

bigsombrero

I told everyone I was close to right away. That was about 10 friends, and all my family. At times I'd wished I hadn't...just because I was embarrassed. But now I think that's just fine. They won't ask me to go out for drinks, and they would certainly keep an "eye" on me if I ever started to pick up again. As for the casual acquaintences, I've told them I'm just taking some time off for a while, and enjoying the benefits. Like Dee said, they have their own lives and it doesn't seem to be an issue. Pretty sure noboby's been offended. My life is going on my own path, and those who are involved in my life know about it, those who are not involved too much in my life don't really care either way. Don't hide it, embrace it. Good luck.

Lizella

mds1212

I was so worried about this in the beginning. For me I told people I was on medication for headaches. It's a white lie but it worked for me. I then realized that the only people who gave a s--- we're raging alcoholics like me. Good luck

Lizella

Thanks everyone! I feel so much better now

KissMyTiara

Those that asked and most didn't, I just said alcohol used to make me happy. And it doesn't anymore. And it made me fat.