starting over again
 

Hello Everyone! I am here to become sober again. I'm addicted to alcohol and marijuana. I really should say I'm addicted to fleeing this world mentally thru the use of substances. I became sober once before using this website then I got comfortable thinking I could control it. I've been drinking again for about 6 months and smoking for 3. My circumstances are different this time. The first time I quit it was because I would binge drink and blackout. I would then wake up and find out that I'd hurt people's feelings with the things I did or said yet I didn't remember a thing. The feeling of not knowing what I did was a horrible one and led me here to recovery. This time I'm quitting because I want to be strong enough to handle this world sober. I want to find other ways to control my stress and emotions other than substances. I need to break this cycle. I feel like it's making me cloudy in the head and I want to think clearly at all times. There are so many things I want to do and I need a clear mind to plan them and work the hours needed to make them happen. I've been doing this for too long and it's time for a change.

I know how you feel. After getting sober, I realized that alcohol was my answer it was never my problem. My problem was, as you mentioned, the inability to deal with life sober. My internal condition was seemingly unbearable when I was not drunk. What I needed was not only to stop drinking, but to find something which would enable me to live happily sober. For me AA was the road that lead me to a state called recovered. Wouldnt trade it for the world.

Hope you find some answers my friend. Know that a better life awaits you and it is possible to live a happy sober life.