DisplacedGRITS

I had a bad night last night. I drank, i effed up dinner, i told my husband that i'd given up and i tried to put my fist through the cabinets, the dishwasher and a wall, only a stud was there. So i woke up early this morning and fell back asleep to nightmares. Woke up again to a hangover and a memory full of holes. I remember trying to goad my husband into a physical fight at some point. I am so full of shame right now. Shame and anger. Lots and lots of anger. It's hard to even think about recovery when i am so angry with myself.

Dee74

Have you been to see the Dr yet DG?

D

hypochondriac

Try to let go of the shame and anger for now DG. That's just going to hold you back. You totally had this before, you can get it back, you've just had a little blip is all. How did the meeting go and the appointment with your psychologist? What's been happening since you were last here? xxx

Jeni26

DG, I'm so sorry you're struggling like this.

Now is the time to stop before anyone gets hurt. What is your plan?

mecanix

Hey Grits i hear you,
For me anger is only useful if it is the motivation to practaice peace . When i first gave up i could briefly be filled with huge rage, the only antidote to that was non-rage .

If you're a stepper i'd imagine now would be a good time to get them out and start work or if you follow another path then it's time to get to work with that .

Nice to see you posting, i wish it we're under better curcumstances,

Bestwishes, M

2granddaughters

All the best D.G.

Bob

Hevyn

I'm sorry that happened, DG - but it's just further proof that you can't touch it. Please never stop trying to get well. You don't need that toxic stuff in your life. It's bringing you nothing but misery.

Don't waste time on guilt and remorse. Try again. This can be the last time you feel this low.

Purplecatlover

Grits, I'm so sorry, your words always helped me & alot of others here. I don't know what to say, other than, you're human. You made a temporary mistake...it doesn't have to last forever.
Your addiction wants you to hang on to that anger & shame to keep you down. You can rise above this & pick up where you left off.
Blessings to you, sweetie. Keep posting

Tamerua

I remember those same feelings... But recovery will help with that. You can do this.

hypochondriac

You know what DG, you should go back and read some of your old posts, not on your own threads but all the advice you have given to other people. You were so on the ball with this and you always gave such great advice. What would you say to someone in your position right now? Stay with us xxx

janiebluebird

Fall seven times, stand up eight - you can get right back on track. You slipped, but you're aware.

Anna

DG, it's understandable that you're angry about what happened, but allow yourself to get back on the path of recovery. Why did you take that drink? It could be helpful to know the answer to that.

DisplacedGRITS

I saw my physician, my psych and my therapist. My psych wants to deal with me when i'm off alcohol (hah!), my therapist is trying to break through my emotional shell and my physician gave me a clean bill of health. So it's all in my head and my heart and my soul. My problem is connecting all three without alcohol.

vegibean

DG, I relate a lot to that. It is why I had to start seeing a therapist again, I was shoving EVERYTHING down, not dealing with it and I truly think that when I got sober six years ago, all the crying I did then, was all I had in me. It doesn't matter how bad I feel, the release valve is broken, and everything just sits inside of me like a ticking time bomb.

You can start again, just like I did, and you already know how to do it, just start with day one kiddo.

Dee74

If you're like me, you'll find everything else will be easier to deal with sober.
That had to be the first priority for me, DG.

It's somewhere to start anyway

D

foodie1

Thinking of you DG, stay with us, ok?