I think it's time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Here
Posts: 78
I think it's time
I've been drinking too much for about a year. I'm in my 30's and I never drank before last year. It quickly turned into binge drinking on the weekends and more recently it has become a daily thing. To the point of waking up in the middle of the night and having a drink. Or having a little before work in the morning, never enough to get drunk, but only to get rid of the withdrawal symptoms. That's been the hardest part, those symptoms are really rough. Shakes, upset stomach, cold sweats, insomnia, and most recently an itchy feeling that feels like bugs are crawling on me. This weekend was the final straw. I went out and made a complete fool of myself. I think my friendships can be salvaged THIS time but this was the final straw. I blacked out for a few hours and turned into a monster. Not voilent, but just doing very embarrassing and rude things that I'm too ashamed to discuss.
When I woke up yesterday and a friend filled me in, I literally got sick. And then hit the bottle once again. Slept all afternoon and woke up around midnight with all the withdrawal symtoms and nothing to drink.
That was the final straw. As bad as this weekend was, maybe it's what I needed. I know how this can ruin lives. I still have my job, my apartment, my friends. Maybe just not my pride, not right now.
I just feel so horrible right now. The physical symptoms are already diminishing, but I am feeling a strong craving. But I just can't stand to think of the things I've done. The way I've embarrassed people and hurt feelings of people I care about. The guilt is eating me alive right now.
When I woke up yesterday and a friend filled me in, I literally got sick. And then hit the bottle once again. Slept all afternoon and woke up around midnight with all the withdrawal symtoms and nothing to drink.
That was the final straw. As bad as this weekend was, maybe it's what I needed. I know how this can ruin lives. I still have my job, my apartment, my friends. Maybe just not my pride, not right now.
I just feel so horrible right now. The physical symptoms are already diminishing, but I am feeling a strong craving. But I just can't stand to think of the things I've done. The way I've embarrassed people and hurt feelings of people I care about. The guilt is eating me alive right now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: a spiritual vortex, Colorado
Posts: 844
Re: I think it's time
R2C- getting on this site is a positive beginning. took NA/AA for me. Even with all its 'ol timely language, the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous related my story right back to me. Fortunately, i hear there are a few of us drunks even in NY,NY, so catching a meeting this afternoon/evening is a possibility. Welcome.
mackat
mackat
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Re: I think it's time
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/...t/en_about.cfm
You'll find a meeting at this link above, or just look in the phone book. Your story about the weekend reminded me of many of mine. And the pride thing... leave it where it is now. You wont need it to go sit for an hour with others like you. The physical symptoms will go away soon. Your body will take care of that. You have to fix your mind, with the help of people who know what you are going through. Welcome to freedom friend.
You'll find a meeting at this link above, or just look in the phone book. Your story about the weekend reminded me of many of mine. And the pride thing... leave it where it is now. You wont need it to go sit for an hour with others like you. The physical symptoms will go away soon. Your body will take care of that. You have to fix your mind, with the help of people who know what you are going through. Welcome to freedom friend.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Re: I think it's time
Hi
You've definitely taken the hardest but best step by posting how you feel here. Admitting you have a problem is difficult, but give yourself a major pat on the back.
You'll find all of us have felt the way you do because of our drinking. We've all had the same guilt and shame you're experiencing.
I've found the people here very knowledgeable and helpful, and offer great advice.
I'm a newbie too, so I'm learning everyday - hang in here and the support will come.
Hugs
JC
You've definitely taken the hardest but best step by posting how you feel here. Admitting you have a problem is difficult, but give yourself a major pat on the back.
You'll find all of us have felt the way you do because of our drinking. We've all had the same guilt and shame you're experiencing.
I've found the people here very knowledgeable and helpful, and offer great advice.
I'm a newbie too, so I'm learning everyday - hang in here and the support will come.
Hugs
JC
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Toronto,Ontario
Posts: 1,027
Re: I think it's time
Ready to Change -- You sound like me 2 Fridays ago.
I basically came to the same conclusion as you did.. Stick around, this place is great for support !! I've been sober 11 days and never felt better... Good to have ya here.
I basically came to the same conclusion as you did.. Stick around, this place is great for support !! I've been sober 11 days and never felt better... Good to have ya here.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Re: I think it's time
Hi ReadytoChange,
You know it was the guilt and shame that prevented me from stopping many times. I knew that when I stopped drinking for good I would really have to look at myself and what I had done and I couldn't deal with that, so I would drink again. What a horrible cycle. But, I got off and you can too! I would also mention that I never drank until I was about 45 and went directly to alcoholic drinking. I had no clue it could happen so fast. You've come to a good place to hang out and to get support. We're here for you.
Love, Anna
You know it was the guilt and shame that prevented me from stopping many times. I knew that when I stopped drinking for good I would really have to look at myself and what I had done and I couldn't deal with that, so I would drink again. What a horrible cycle. But, I got off and you can too! I would also mention that I never drank until I was about 45 and went directly to alcoholic drinking. I had no clue it could happen so fast. You've come to a good place to hang out and to get support. We're here for you.
Love, Anna
Do not add alcohol
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Duluth, Mn
Posts: 157
Re: I think it's time
Ready,
Glad you found the board and it sounds like you are ready to give it up. It took years of doing embarrassing things to get me to quit. Yes I too have been the drunken one. Last summer I passed out on the bar at my neighborhood watering hole and before I did I asked the barmaid if she wanted to go home with me. Boy was I embarrassed! I was absolutely charming. Classic Brent. Be glad you live in NYC and not in a small town where everybody likes to talk about everybodyelses embarrassing endeavors.
In time everybody will forget about it and forgive you especially if you quit drinking. Don't feel bad, you're not the first or the last person to engage in inappropriate behavior under the influence. You may want to check into a hospital if the withdrawal gets bad. It's probably time to think about checking out an AA meeting. It may or may not be for you but it's worth taking a look at least.
Hang in there, the "guilty's" will pass soon enough.
Glad you found the board and it sounds like you are ready to give it up. It took years of doing embarrassing things to get me to quit. Yes I too have been the drunken one. Last summer I passed out on the bar at my neighborhood watering hole and before I did I asked the barmaid if she wanted to go home with me. Boy was I embarrassed! I was absolutely charming. Classic Brent. Be glad you live in NYC and not in a small town where everybody likes to talk about everybodyelses embarrassing endeavors.
In time everybody will forget about it and forgive you especially if you quit drinking. Don't feel bad, you're not the first or the last person to engage in inappropriate behavior under the influence. You may want to check into a hospital if the withdrawal gets bad. It's probably time to think about checking out an AA meeting. It may or may not be for you but it's worth taking a look at least.
Hang in there, the "guilty's" will pass soon enough.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Here
Posts: 78
Re: I think it's time
Originally Posted by woodtick
Ready,
Last summer I passed out on the bar at my neighborhood watering hole and before I did I asked the barmaid if she wanted to go home with me. Boy was I embarrassed! I was absolutely charming. Classic Brent.
Last summer I passed out on the bar at my neighborhood watering hole and before I did I asked the barmaid if she wanted to go home with me. Boy was I embarrassed! I was absolutely charming. Classic Brent.
Like I said, that was the last straw. Amazingly, the 2 people I offended the most have been the most supportive and forgiving. One of them is someone I've only known a short time, and that I suspect also has a problem, but is willing to totally support me in my decision to stop.
I really am humiliated though and I want to crawl in a hole.
By the way, I feel like a jerk now, but I don't really live in NYC. I guess I'm just paranoid that someone I know will find me here. But I do live in a big city and I'm sure I can find all the resources I need.
Finding this site was a good start.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Here
Posts: 78
Re: I think it's time
Has anyone else experienced what feels like muscle twitching in the first 24 hours, especially while lying down and trying to sleep? The shaking has stopped but I feel all jumpy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 87
Re: I think it's time
I think most of us have been in that lousey spot you are at. Realizing its time to change is a HUGE statement. You can do it you desearve it. keep comming . maybe a face to face meeting would do you wonders.. My life is so much better and you can have it too.
Love,
Lin
Love,
Lin
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Re: I think it's time
Twitches. Yep. Alcohol abuse affects the central nervous system. I can remember after many binges twitching, numbness, etc. Do keep an eye on this though and seek the advice of a physician if it persists.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Here
Posts: 78
Re: I think it's time
I went to my doctor a few months back because of the dizziness and numbness. I didn't mention the drinking. She sent me out for all kinds of tests because she thought I might be seriuosly ill. She determined it was anxiety and prescribed a very mild sedative, which thankfully has helped me out today. She still doesn't suspect the drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Here
Posts: 78
Re: I think it's time
You know what I realized about a week ago? Drinking wasn't making me feel good anymore. You probably all remember the rush of the "buzz", and how great it used to feel. Lately it's just been to satisfy a craving and take these horrible symptoms away. And to feel "normal", although in reality, I lost touch with normal a long time ago.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Re: I think it's time
Well I suggest you take your doctor into your confidence then. She will help you. Your most recent post just popped up and hey! You've made a great discovery. When you come to terms with the fact that you are drinking to get rid of unpleasant symptoms brought about by drinking, you kind of are at a turning point! There's an online meeting here tonight at 8:30 eastern. Come in for a lousy cup of coffee if you don't make it out to a face 2 face!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Re: I think it's time
Hi R2C welcome to SR! 
I totally identify with your story , the only difference is I let it go on for 37 years before I quit ( 6 months ago) my drinking took me places I did not want to go, with people I did not want to be with , in the end .
This is a progressive disease , and things WILL get worse . I heard a quote in a meeting yesterday , which said it all for me , while i was drinking , " while I was actually drinking, I could see I was an Alcoholic , and make a decision to do something about it , in the morning, but when morning came , I had reverted to just a heavy drinker " very true .
I am so glad you are reaching out before it progresses.
I chose AA as my recovery method, and they have saved my life !
make the call
HUGX
Lee
I totally identify with your story , the only difference is I let it go on for 37 years before I quit ( 6 months ago) my drinking took me places I did not want to go, with people I did not want to be with , in the end .
This is a progressive disease , and things WILL get worse . I heard a quote in a meeting yesterday , which said it all for me , while i was drinking , " while I was actually drinking, I could see I was an Alcoholic , and make a decision to do something about it , in the morning, but when morning came , I had reverted to just a heavy drinker " very true .
I am so glad you are reaching out before it progresses.
I chose AA as my recovery method, and they have saved my life !
make the call
HUGX
Lee
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Re: I think it's time
Hi and welcome Ready!
Glad your here. It's a great place for support when you have decided your done with the alcohol ruining and running your life. Join us in chat for an online meeting if you like.
Taking multi-vitamins will help with the muscle spasms, along with bannanas and all the fruit you can handle. Melatonin is good to help with the sleep problems. Hope to see you back.
Glad your here. It's a great place for support when you have decided your done with the alcohol ruining and running your life. Join us in chat for an online meeting if you like.
Taking multi-vitamins will help with the muscle spasms, along with bannanas and all the fruit you can handle. Melatonin is good to help with the sleep problems. Hope to see you back.
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
Re: I think it's time
YOUR IN THE RIGHT PLACE,ready
IF IT'S HELP YOU SEEK,STICK AROUND.
YOU CAN BE SPARED MANY YEARS OF MISERY BY GETTING HELP NOW!
LIKE LEE SAID ,PROGRESSIVE,IT DOES'NT GET BETTER IF YOU CONTINUE ON.
MUCH WISDOM TO BE HAD HERE,STICK AROUND,GET WHAT YOU NEED.
STAY STRONG ted
IF IT'S HELP YOU SEEK,STICK AROUND.
YOU CAN BE SPARED MANY YEARS OF MISERY BY GETTING HELP NOW!
LIKE LEE SAID ,PROGRESSIVE,IT DOES'NT GET BETTER IF YOU CONTINUE ON.
MUCH WISDOM TO BE HAD HERE,STICK AROUND,GET WHAT YOU NEED.
STAY STRONG ted
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Re: I think it's time
R2C, I can relate to what you say about how drinking no longer felt as it used to. That made me really worried. I used to try and combat that by not eating before I would start drinking. That made for some serious hangovers. Glad your here, as we all work together to overcome this sickness.
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 20
Re: I think it's time
I'm glad for you that it took just a year to realize your problem. I have been drinking for nearly 17 years. It has only been in the past few months that it really has gotten out of control. You are way ahead of the game if you can realize it and stop it in it's track early on. Hang in there and explore ways of getting help. You can do it!
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