newcomer looking for help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: vancouver b.c
Posts: 31
newcomer looking for help
Hi, im new to this site as well as a "normie" in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic....been togeher for 15 months .The first 7 were great he was sober and during that time i got to know who he was or i think....the last 8 months have been hell binge drinking for days which lasted months til he went into treatment...got out, things were good until he relapsed again and now once again sober for now i month. Im lost,stuck,confused...ive read books,gone to meetings, talked to friends all in hopes of finding some sanity to this. Is it normal to be emotionally/pyhsically unavailable to me? Preoccupied with other things i have expressed my feelings and desire to be connected to him but what i get is defensive behaviour (explaining to me he is working the program) does working the program mean abandoning me?...i dont understand it.He was in a sober relationship for 10 years and yes, i guess im jealous because she never expierianced what i have with him i feel like im getting the short end of the stick while im assuming she got a great thing. Maybe i dont know him?...7 months of soberiety& 8 months of anguish....I know enough that i need to take care of myself and i am ,to a point i guess. Im hanging on because im afraid if i dont ill miss out on something wonderful.....Please anyone who is reading this i would love some insight. Im a normie and baffled.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi Campbell,
It might be a good idea for you to check out AlAnon in your area to be able to get some support for yourself.
Hopefully your boyfriend will continue to work on his recovery.
It might be a good idea for you to check out AlAnon in your area to be able to get some support for yourself.
Hopefully your boyfriend will continue to work on his recovery.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
Hi Cambell
I'm sorry for your situation but I'm glad you found us.
I understand being jealous of ex partners but thats futile really - you have to deal with the here and now.
The question is how long are you prepared to hang on for something wonderful to happen I guess?
And not to upset you, but you probably also need to ask what if it never does?
I hope you'll check out our Family and Friends forums too - you'll find a lot of support down there as well.
D
I'm sorry for your situation but I'm glad you found us.
I understand being jealous of ex partners but thats futile really - you have to deal with the here and now.
The question is how long are you prepared to hang on for something wonderful to happen I guess?
And not to upset you, but you probably also need to ask what if it never does?
I hope you'll check out our Family and Friends forums too - you'll find a lot of support down there as well.
D
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