Seiceps

Hey pt. just wanted to tell you how much you helped me today !!!! So much. Hope you get thru the night. Sometimes when lying there knowing sleep won't come, anxiety killing me. The only thing that gets me thru is listening to some classics on libravox. It's a free audio book site read by volunteers. Karen savage is a great reader to listen too. I've listened to pride and prejudice about 7 times. And most times I end up waking up at some point wondering where the story is and realise I fell asleep. I just put on another chapter and hope it comes again. I find it at least takes me out of my head a bit. Sorry tryed to post a link but I'm usi g my phone and it won't play nice. It's libravox. Org
Big hugs to you x

SasaKay

I presently live in a country where issues like mental illness and substance abuse is stigmatized, so unfortunately there isn't as much help and support as I would like. It also doesn't help that most expats are major boozers. So I have been using SR as my major support and it has helped tremendously. I am also open and honest about my problems with alcohol to my friends and family which has helped to keep me on the straight and narrow. Now when I am tempted, I come on to SR, or reach out to a friend, go for a run, yoga, etc. ~anything to keep my mind off of it and help me realize exactly why I wanted to drink in the first place. I recommend reading as much as you can on these forums.
Also, I know what you mean about relationship drama. If relationships are built on mutual interests, then I am sorry to say that drinking was a common interest between my ex and I. I am not quite sure if he got sober or not, but I am sure that further contact with the drunk him would lead to my relapse. Afterall, I got my own 'crazy' to deal with and I cannot take responsibility for another person's issues with sobriety.
Good luck to you. There is a lot of support here!! :-)

changer

pt- looks like you're from MD? Me too- luckily we have meetings galore in this area! If you like, pm me when you're back in the area, and we can get you plugged in to the local scene. I know some people who travel a lot for work, maybe they have some advice. The speaker tapes and online meetings are a great idea as well
I think it's a great sign that you posted when you did.
Take care-
Hilary

Ptcapote

Hi Everyone, thank you so much for the posts and advice. It got me through last night and today (and now tonight, I hope) so I cannot express my gratitude enough. Tonight at dinner was difficult because everyone was having "farewell drinks" and sitting there smelling and seeing all the beer and wine bottles on the table was a tad torturous. If I am fully truthful, I think I only made it through without partaking because this latest binge got me so sick that I was afraid of spending 20+ hours on the plane tomorrow vomiting every hour (which would not be a first). I also just have to accept that I cannot be around people who drink for a good, long while. This is tough as almost all of my colleagues and most of the people I work with are pretty big boozers. The thing that led me to stop drinking---a hospital stay and the start of ulcers---in December was a convenient excuse to stay home and avoid most interaction with drinkers by blaming it on a health condition, which was true. But thinking back now, sober, to what REALLY started the relapse was less about the relationship drama and more about a work trip with my boss to California in January where I had a couple of beers. At the time it made me sick so I was able to stop physically but that somehow turned my alcoholic brain back on and I thought about drinking again almost constantly until this past weekend when I binged. So I am beginning to realize that I cannot be around other drinkers PERIOD until much further along in my sobriety. Thought I was strong enough but obviously I am not. And I will be hanging out here quite a bit for the foreseeable future. As well as getting much more serious about meetings and a support system. Anyway, I made it through last night and today and I WILL make it through tonight too. Thank you all again and apologies for the long email. Will be hanging around with you all for the evening again. I am taking a lot of comfort and strength here.

Ptcapote

Hi Hilary, I am definitely going to be taking you up on that one. Yes, I am in southern (DC Beltway/Annapolis) MD and any help you can offer with the local scene would be greatly appreciated. I have gone to a few meetings but definitely need more of a support system and fellow travelers are always helpful. Will be in touch via PM when I get back to MD. Thanks again! Patti

Seiceps

Hi glad you made it. Seriously, you were the first thing I thought about this morning. It got me up to look up yr posts ! Take care , at least you'll be home soon x

Ptcapote

Thanks, me too! (Also wanted to see what culinary delights might have made up your or your children's day today Glad to see you made it through the second night as well. Tonight's mine---no booze to be had but being here is breaking the obsessive thought process about how nice it would be to have some

Seiceps

Tell the truth I gave them lunch money today ! Lol

Ptcapote

Wanted to thank everyone again for being here for me for the past two nights. I have made it through night two without drinking and am heading home to the States tomorrow. I am serious about AA and a sponsor now as I clearly cannot go this on my own or with only intermittent support, particularly with the amount of travel I do and the many temptations in my path with my job/lifestyle.

Never thought when I first joined in December that SR would get me through a binge (which I naturally never thought I would have again, of course ) in sub-Saharan Africa but it did.

On a plane tomorrow for 20 hours but then will be back with you all on Friday afternoon US East Coast time before taking myself to a meeting that night.

Thanks again, particularly to everyone who also just went through their day one or day two for the first time or again. Reading what you wrote really helped me deal with lots of shame that probably would have made the binge last a heck of a lot longer.

Safe Thursday and Friday and talk to you all again soon! and lots of hugs!!

Received

Stay happy, safe and sober!