Why I need to remember the early days
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 18
Why I need to remember the early days
I work in education with very young kids. Sometimes I forget how far they have come from the first day of school where they all showed up confused, scared, crying in unison and puking from crying (FYI~ I was puked on twice on the first day of school). Now when I see them walk into school with a smile on their face, write their name or anything else that they do amazingly, I feel so proud!
Today is my 32nd day sober and that first month was HARD! Like my kids, I started out confused, scared, sad and sick. I was confused if I was an alcoholic, scared about living my life without alcohol, and sick and sad from withdrawals. I was anxious but open to doing the work. Thankfully, I 'showed up' everyday and did the work to remain sober as I will continue to do. I am thankful for being present everyday and I am learning to problem solve/cope with my problems and emotions sans alcohol and even slowly getting back to accomplishing my goals.
In the same way that I need to remember how my students started out so that I can fully acknowledge how much progress they have made and will continue to make, I need to remember my beginning and how difficult it was so that I will not be tempted to go back to that sad, chaotic and pukey place. I may be in the 'baby class' but I am happy to be in it and am learning lots even though I have lots of schooling ahead of me. :-)
Today is my 32nd day sober and that first month was HARD! Like my kids, I started out confused, scared, sad and sick. I was confused if I was an alcoholic, scared about living my life without alcohol, and sick and sad from withdrawals. I was anxious but open to doing the work. Thankfully, I 'showed up' everyday and did the work to remain sober as I will continue to do. I am thankful for being present everyday and I am learning to problem solve/cope with my problems and emotions sans alcohol and even slowly getting back to accomplishing my goals.
In the same way that I need to remember how my students started out so that I can fully acknowledge how much progress they have made and will continue to make, I need to remember my beginning and how difficult it was so that I will not be tempted to go back to that sad, chaotic and pukey place. I may be in the 'baby class' but I am happy to be in it and am learning lots even though I have lots of schooling ahead of me. :-)
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
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Sasakay - great post and congrats. I can tell you though, you can't rely on your memory to keep you sober. I did not drink for 7 years, and honestly I was so over it that I thought I would do it again. I know now I need something besides bad memories to keep this up forever.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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Thanks veryready. I fully agree with you~you can't stay sober on bad memory alone. I know that I need support, to change my habits, ways of thinking, etc. Just like how some women forget the pain of childbirth, some people might forget the difficulties of initial sobriety. I,personally, find it helpful to remember it. I know that I don't want to go back to day 1. (that is, if I could stop drinking, decide to stop and follow it through:something very difficult for me)
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