SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I successfully made it longer than I had ever made it before without a drink. I was spending my days so incredibly happy but almost became paralyzed with thoughts of "no more drinks..." or "maybe it isn't normal to want to give it up entirely...."

I had surpassed my previous length by two weeks. Almost made it a month... and then I gave in. I bought that dreaded 6 pack of micro brew, which led to another 6, a couple of small airlines of jack, morning beer.... and I successfully displayed to myself:

1. You will forever have a problem controlling the amount of alcohol you drink once you start.

2. It isn't worth starting. Ever.

3. Your plan wasn't working....

So with that I called a friend who is 6 years sober through AA and gave me a copy of the big book 6 months ago when I first reached out. I asked him if he would guide me into AA... and asked him if he would be my first sponsor and help me work the steps. He agreed. That's my new plan and I'm meeting with my first sponsor in the morning. I hope this works.

Insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. In my case... insanity is continuing thinking drinking could become regulated and not accepting that my life is sooo much better without it. Even if that means without it for good.

Perhaps one day down the road I'll be one of the success stories helping newcomers... My new chapter starts tomorrow. Or, started yesterday when I made the decision to get sponsored and work the steps. Wish me luck... I'm a little terrified of completely submersing myself into a program. But I have learned I can not do it through sheer will power alone.