mecanix

I realised alcohol and it's effects were delusions .

M

stairs

*Being confronted by (or the negative impact your use had on) loved ones
*Detriorating health or an acute health crisis
*A spiritual crisis or awakening

For me it was a combination of these three. I finally realized how dishonest I was and mostly with myself. I lived a dual life of having one face for the world (work, etc) and another at home in my safety zone.

In the world I was a go getter, an actively interested parent who was friends with the teachers, a class trip parent, then at home I was a total alky.

It reached a point where my home self bled into my world self and there was no more denying it. My health was terrible as a direct result of alcohol abuse. I shut down my spiritual awareness when I chose to use a substance to obliterate my emotional pain. Though this was mostly an unconscious choice, and I never saw it that way until August 2012. Then I realized that I was seeking to obliterate myself because of some basic primal unmet needs leftover from childhood that only a spiritual relationship with myself and a higher power could help to heal.

I had to be honest with myself about who and what I really am.

dallas123

The empties. Empty bottles, cans - half-full bottles, cans - other containers - one day it was just enough. It was just time to stop being my own specialty garbage collector.

Ptcapote

All of the above? I guess when I saw that drinking was no longer a part of my life but had become my life. Everyone and everything was secondary to that. But probably the most immediate one was drinking wine for days straight and then ending up in the hospital for a week over Thanksgiving and having to explain to my family that I preferred the company of a wine bottle over them.

scottydee1946

A year ago I was vacationing in the USA when I fell and knocked myself out after too much to drink. The medical bills approached $30,000. So, I always say I had 30,000 reasons to quit.

duane1

Sometimes I feel like I had the easy way out for quitting. Either I quit or I was going to die.

exponential

I had retired from my job, and with no more deadlines or meetings to attend, became a full time maintenance drinker. I started early in the day and spread it out as much as possible to avoid being visibly intoxicated. Eventually of course this took a toll and I started waking up every morning feeling pacing-around anxious. Not exactly a health crisis, but intolerable just the same. I complained to a doctor who convinced me to detox and commit to abstinence. There have been some lapses since then but that was the turning point for me.

courage2

Yes, I'm serious, but in their defense, I was drunk, and I don't remember what I said to them -- it may have been pretty vile. Anyway, the experience got my attention.

FeelingGreat

None of the above, but I chose spiritual awakening. It was more a realisation that I was about to cross a line, and that my drinking would have health consequences for me sooner than later. I just had to build up the motivation which took a few months.

Razorandblade

Jan 1st. 2013. Staring at my Christmas Tree after all the festivities were over. my son was downstairs with me watching tv. I silently sobbed, feeling COMPLETELY empty and alone. He went to bed, I drank a bottle of wine, drunk dialed whoever, woke up feeling terrible. I knew I had to get off this crazy train. My boyfriend is a prescription drug abuser/alcoholic. I started eating healthy, not drinking at home, laying low not going to bars and working out.
Boyfriend would come over, we would go through a bottle of booze, smoke weed and eat until I would almost throw up.

We went to dinner Feb.5th. We ate, we drank up all the booze we could. We were sitting in a nasty dive bar after dinner (up until this night i loved the dive bars, even the smell!) I asked him if he used prescription drugs since we got back together in August, (that was our 4th breakup/get back together) he admitted to doing it once in October....which means he has prob been doing it since Oct. Looking at my reflection in the bar mirror, smoking a cigarette, (I bummed off of the super drunk Vietnam vet telling me war stories just moments prior) I did not like seeing myself in that bar. I used to look sexy in that dim bar lighting! This was not sexy at 35! Not at all!

Feb.6th. I felt hungover, tired and did I say tired? It is like a switch went off. I am ready to live now. I want to enjoy my family, my life and the good friends I have. My bf was my enabler. I was his.

I let him go. Very graciously. I told him I have to focus on me to save my own life. He is still in denial. His fight is not my fight. I went to my first Al Anon meeting yesterday. I rally got so much out of it!

Next Tuesday I am going to my first AA meeting. One day at a time. Live and let live. The serenity prayer. These I hold close to my heart right now.

I am so excited for my REAL life!!!!!

My name is Rene'. I am an alcoholic. Boy does that feel GOOD to get off my shoulders. What a heavy, heavy burden to carry!

Clean since FEB.6TH 2013 Thanks for reading!

pink79coach

Renee. Welcome. Loved ur story. Keep coming back it works. It works

backbeat

Knowing soon I would get a DUI, being told I can't drink on my meds (which didn't stop me), being disgusted with myself, a spiritual crisis, massive weight gain, feeling and looking sick, finances, getting scared.

ACT10Npack

None from the poll. I just got tried of the drinking.

AWOL

My decision came when my shrink dealt me the Ace of Spades and the Queen of Hearts. Take the Spades and dig your grave, she said. Take the Hearts and life is yours. I put the bottle down and took the Queen of Hearts. It wasn't the highest card in the pack, but its given me a Royal Flush: life, sanity, clarity, calm and lasting gratitude.

Sazzle

I love your analogy!

Booniecat

Drink has been a big part of family and social functions for years. It began to really bother my wife who is a non drinker. I knew I wanted to quit but have had so many false starts I had given up. I am making another go at it because I don't want to have to wait for something tragic to happen for motivation.

hypochondriac

Anxiety! I was always concerned about my drinking, it has always been pretty hefty, but I managed to ignore it most of the time. What I couldn't ignore was the crippling anxiety. For the last 5 years or so of my drinking I would have pretty much constant panic attacks when I was not drinking. There were a lot of health concerns that kinda went hand in hand with the anxiety but because I didn't seem to be able to control it when I was away from home it was stopping me doing a lot of stuff. I started to feel like I would have to drink all the time to control it. I never got to the point of being an all day drinker but I was definitely on my way there. My hands shook to the extent that it interfered with my work and I was pretty much gross all the time and tied to drink. It's nice to be free now

EternalQ

Any other votes? Pick one.

Mizzuno

I went into a emotional meltdown on a plane and wouldn't leave the bathroom. The end result was the loss of my job. Yes indeed!

legna

There are no options for me in the poll. Then I read through everyone's answers and still could not find my answer represented. So I closed the thread. Then I realized that someone might need to see my answer so I re-opened the thread.

I think the NA literature says it best, that we arrived at a point in our addiction where we couldn't live with or without drugs. My loved ones had cut ties with me but still I used...so it wasn't them. My health was gone, I weighed less than half of my healthy weight; loss of half my teeth, sores all over my body, my hair had fallen out in clumps, etc...nothing stopped me. Still to this day, over twenty years later, I can't tell you how many years had passed since I had a job...so it wasn't employment trouble. I was facing 70 years in prison and continued to use...so that wasn't it. As for mental health issues...well, there were plenty but it was the price of my addiction.

I didn't believe I could quit but nothing I took worked any more and I couldn't not use. I was smoking an ounce of crack a day and was still experiencing withdrawals. To quit meant to die and to use meant to die. Drugs, which had become my life had turned on me. It had become the enemy and I decided that I would die free.