ntmu

i was doing great pulling myself together though this website, after a good friend recommended treatment, long story, but i've been on here a week, was making very good progress. some innocent events have led to ongoing drinking since last night. it is now 7:30am, i just came back with 4 beers and am drinking them after the 10 i had last night. that's all fine & dandy, but i skipped out on sleep last night & it's 7:30am so i still have the whole day to go. this is binge territory and i know it. you can PM me if you wish, but someone should say something ASAP. thank you.

Maples

Hi ntmu, I was right there 2 weeks ago. What I did was I stumbled into an AA meeting and asked for help. I realized that I needed more and couldn't do it on my own. I am getting help from people who understand and I am putting a plan together. If this sounds like what you need, then go for it. Ask for help and they will help you.

What's more, they will understand just how hard it was to do that and they will welcome you with open arms.

Dee74

Hi ntmu - how about 'stop'?

Manys the time SR helped saved me - either by giving me people to talk to, giving me cautionary tales to read, or giving me ideas about where to go for help....

It's a clear choice you have now, between losing several days or more, or waking up tomorrow knowing you stopped this thing in its tracks.

but...the buck stops with you ntmu...

I know a part of you wants to end this madness or you wouldnt be posting - fan that spark...

we can help, but you need to pull hard on the reins....if you need help, get help

I know you can do this and I hope you will

D

Weasel1966

Nmtu... Stop.

I agree with Dee.

You... Me... We are strong enough to stop. I have done similar. When I first tried.... And I tired over and over... I would drink hard and fast to say no. I don't want to stop. Like a kid stamping his feet. But I said I did. I came here and said I want to stop.... Then got another beer out of the fridge.

You will get there. I did.

So there.... I said something to you. Stop.

ntmu

i'm sorry, i'm not even reading your messages right now. please answer me this; there is a meeting near me at 10:30 am, i have been drinking, i can walk and talk (i'm a pro by now); it is a CLOSED meeting. i do not have enough experience with AA to even know what that means. should i go? should i stay on chat here? should i try and nap?

i've been doing this along time. asking for help & recovery is new to me. but i absolutely need it now. my plan was not to go back to this.

Received

Closed means it's only for people who have the desire to quit drinking.

ntmu

it's 8 now, if i left at 10, in the snow, hope it's still happening actually, i could even grab a donut and talk to someone before the meeting, but i know nothing about 'closed' meetings & i am drunk, but can function.

ntmu

ok, i'll look at your messages now while i wait. thank you.

Received

Can you call the local AA hotline in your area? It has been my experience, many times they can contact a person who is directly involved in that meeting.

Even if it is cancelled, it's been my experience at least a few people always show up, just in case a new comer is in need of help.

Dee74

take care of yourself whatever you decide ntmu.
It's very late here - I'm off to bed.

D

mecanix

Poor the drink down the sink,
Put the bottles/cans in the trash outside,
Make some tea, coffee or have some water,
Start your sober experience over again right now,
Now is the point of power, start making the right decisions.

Bestwishes, M

ntmu

Dee, how about stop?

the rest of your message was great, but the pull this thing has on me is much greater than 'how about just stop', you know that.

i have a whole day ahead of me.

you are right though.

ntmu

i'll call them then if i can find the number

ntmu

ok. called them. i'm going to try to go even if they don't even know if the meeting is happening today. i have 1.5 hrs to hang out before i go. i will go visit my foreign friends on other sites. thank you.

Weasel1966

No. You are wrong. We all stopped by saying stop. I seldom get agitated on SR. But I have to say that when I read you can't I want to respond and say you can. I did and I am nothing special.

You can do as you please. And stopping is in that list of choices.

Pondlady

This is just my opinion. I would call AA and make plans to go later in the day, dump the alcohol, have something light to eat with plenty of fluid and take a nap. I know you are a "pro" at drinking, but don't think it advisable to go out int the snow, drunk, trying to find a place you've not been to before.

Twobitts

Drunk, sober, meeting or no meeting, you will probably finish the beer and that is ok. I would just stay in if I were you. Don't complicate it. Call the hotline or just read the threads.

bigsombrero

"Closed" just means alcoholics only - no friends or family of alcoholics are "allowed". Most of the meetings I go to are like that, it's actually pretty standard. You don't have to share if you don't want to, you can just sit in the back and drink your coffee if you want. You are on the right track, by coming here you are showing initiative. Don't worry about the past, the present is the only thing that matters. Why don't you go, might be worth it!

For what it's worth I am going to an AA meeting today and I don't really want to go either, but I'm just doing it to keep active and DO SOMETHING on this Saturday morning. Good luck.

ntmu

f it. the wind is bad enough here now, not to mention we just had a ton of snow drop on. don't know how the day will go, but it's warm inside, i have beer, i shouldn't, i can get more easy & i've only got at least 14 more hours to go.

why can't aa deliver on a day like today? i know i need to get into the program and meet people, but please god, let me see a human being sit and talk with me already.

Xune

If you want to stop drinking, then stop drinking.

No one on SR can make that choice for you.