| bigsombrero | 02-08-2013 04:49 PM |
7 months sober - remembering how bad it was
My last drink was the morning of 7/7/2012. I was visiting my family for my grandmother's 97th birthday party. Family members from all over country were gathering, some of us had not seen each other in years. It was a beautiful summer day and an outdoor party was planned and everyone was gearing up to go to my aunts house to celebrate.
That morning I woke up feeling very sick. I knew I was in severe withdrawl mode, considering I was staying with relatives and not near my normal stash. To steady myself, I turned to my overnight bag. I had replaced a small bottle of hand-sanitizer with vodka, so I could carry it on the plane and have it for "emergencies" and hide it from family. My hands were shaking that morning, and I leaned over and put the little plastic bottle of straight vodka to my mouth. It smelled like hand sanitizer and tasted like ammonia. It was terrible.
I shuffled downstairs, and told my family I felt sick. As I sat on the chair, I remember feeling like a seizure was on the way. As I began to lose conciousness, I felt vomit spilling out of my mouth, and heard my brother in law say "oh-uh, here we go again".....I awoke in an ambulance. My third seizure in 6 months. This time, I had not only hurt myself, but completely put a black cloud on a wonderful, celebratory event in honor of my grandmother. I was sent to detox, released to home care, and talked into treatment by my family.
That was 7 months ago. I cannot believe it, it seems like it was a lifetime ago. I have learned so much since then - and made mistakes too. Either way, the most important thing is that I have not had a drink. I have a long way to go, and so many more challenges coming my way.
Today I am happy to be where I am, nothing more nothing less. Have a great weekend all, and thank you SR for the support and the many interesting posts. | 