I have no idea if any one is still reading this thread, and I might post this elsewhere because it deserves it's own topic--here it is:

Last night I watched a documentary about the late, great American anti-hero, Bill Hicks. (Who you may have noticed, I used a quote of his for my signature.)
I've been a Bill Hicks fan for about a decade, and I have little idea how I missed this documentary, as it came out about 4 years ago. I guess living on a small remote island for a number of years is similar to living in a cave. Watching his story, inspired me in terms of sobriety. After nearly a decade of abusing alcohol and cocaine, losing gigs and audiences, he came to the realization that he was going to well and truly f*&ck up everything he'd been working for since he was 15 years old.

In any case, for those of you who don't know who Bill Hicks was, he was a a ground breaking comedian who started working as a comic when is was 15 years old in Houston, Texas. Raised in an upper middle class suburb of Houston to a family of Southern Baptists, he grew up rebelling and ultimately questioning the values, ideas, and ideals of the culture within which he was raised. Bill did not want to be an "average" comedian. He did not just want to yuck it up and tell a few jokes for a laugh. He was constantly striving to break out of the box, break the mold, and blow your mind. This goal remained elusive for a number of years, and ultimately took a nose dive while he was partying like a rock star.

Here is where story becomes relevant to the subject of sobriety for me: After he quit using and abusing, he began working on new material, and ultimately transformed himself into the visionary comic he had aspired to be for so many years. Bill always new had something to do here on this earth. He didn't want to just tell jokes--he wanted to tell the truth. After he quit drinking and using drugs, he became absolutely FEARLESS--equal parts comic, preacher, mystic, and rebel. But what interests me most about this story, is how his sobriety actually seemed to free him to be more raw, brave, and more fearless than ever before. It is also ironic, as he became a great defender of your right to do all the things that got him in trouble in the years before. However, his best material and most riveting performances were in the years after he sobered up, and before he died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 32.

In my life, whatever it is that I chose to do, I want to be FEARLESS and RAW, like Bill.

“If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.”
― Bill Hicks


Peace.

I tried to put this in my post but, I missed the edit deadline.

This is Bill at his most intense, and it's not even that "comic," but it is about as RAW as it gets. Some of you might not agree with his conclusions, but ironically, he was sober for some time when he did this material.

P.S, not for the faint of heart, or for children.

Bill Hicks - Play From Your ******* Heart - YouTube

"I am available for children's parties btw" hahahaaaa

The concept of cultivating fearlessness has been the cornerstone of my "recovery". It started with laying down all the crutches I had used to protect myself. In an effort to protect myself, I became more and more fearful and thus less and less authentic.

If you have never read about fearlessness from the Buddhist perspective, you might find it interesting. I know I did.

So...good...this means you will be performing at some point...I look forward to some footage ;)

Yeah,

Pretty funny bit after laying it all on the floor like that.

If I was really brave, I'd try stand-up. It's intrigued me for years. I love to be funny and people who are funny, and a few people have to told me I should try it. HOWEVER, that is light years more frightening than playing music and singing in front of people. You gotta have MUY Grande Cojones to do that!

Bill had a swagger and a confidence from such an early age, and while I like to think of myself as a bad ass, I'm really....not. I've got the swag--but it's a front for a very insecure person!

I'm gonna use Bill like a ******** and see if I can muster some of what he had, not just to get up on stage, but for all other aspects of my life.

Cheers.

Gforce - still readin' it.
You can always start a new thread. I like the fearless insight. I had a lot of fear about going to my first AA meeting. Didn't want to turn into a pod person.
Soberlicious-
Could you recommend any reading materials about fearlessness and Buddhism?

Yeah, I was going to ask her the same thing!

Right now I'm reading In the Face of Fear edited by Barry Boyce. It's got contributions from a bunch of different writers. Also, Comfortable with Uncertainty Pema Chodron.

If you google fearlessness and Buddhism you will find a bunch of interesting reading.

Thanks Sober
Never really thought about fearlessness and Buddhism. Hmmmm.