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3 weeks today, and I'm doing O.K!

Old 02-07-2013, 06:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Gforce23
Well in answer to your question see my lengthy post on page 2!
I didn't read the long post...I have ADD...

My question was really intended to be rhetorical. I probably should have said, "You can learn not to be so hard on yourself."

I enjoy the affects of alcohol, so it's to bad that the AFTER affects are such a BI-HATCH. Maybe someday some smart scientist will find a pill for those of us with genetic predispositions to alcohol problems to enjoy it sensibly.
Cool concept and probably useful for many. I would not take such a pill. Weird right?
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Old 02-07-2013, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by soberlicious View Post
I didn't read the long post...I have ADD...
heh heh. Oh you know, it was probably a bunch of "blah blah blah my life was so hard blah blah blah," and you've probably already read it anyway, so no worries!

[/QUOTE]My question was really intended to be rhetorical. I probably should have said, "You can learn not to be so hard on yourself."
[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I'm sure I could. However, I'm also just a drama queen perfectionista. I am particular abut getting certain things right, and I get frustrated when I don't-- but only momentarily and dramatically. I'm working on it.

[/QUOTE]Cool concept and probably useful for many. I would not take such a pill. Weird right?[/QUOTE]

You know, when I wrote that, I anticipated that more than a few people might have that reaction, and I suspected that you would be one of them... No, I don't think it's weird. Maybe I'll feel that way someday too.

XO
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Old 02-07-2013, 06:49 PM
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Well if I had read someone saying they wouldn't take the magic pill, personally I would have been all, "omg they are SO lying right now" but you know, weirdly, I really wouldn't. I have come to appreciate all of life, even the sharp edges. I like being fully present. It's hard for me to put into words honestly.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:14 PM
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My mouse scroller needs to be replaced reading this thread straight through...lol.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:24 PM
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I hope I can get to three weeks. Congrats to you!!!!
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:26 PM
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I wouldn't take the pill either. Past tense.
I was in deep depression after cardiac surgery. Turns out that's pretty common for folks like me. It was a really deep clinical depression. You don't have thoughts of suicide when you're worried about dying every second of the day. Literally sitting at work and wondering if you are going to make it to the next moment.
Or lying in bed on a Saturday for hours, as still as you can be, waiting to die right then - at that moment. Why commit suicide when you'll die NOW.
Or if you've been on the operating table, staring up at the lights like in the movies, and you know they're going to crack your chest open in a couple of minutes.
When death is not a moment away - it's NOW.
My doctor finally convinced me to take an anti depressant - and thank heaven for her. That, to me was the pill - not to cure me of drinking - but to release me from that black hole of clinical depression.
So - while I hate the idea of taking drugs for a behavioral and cognitive cure - they can work.
Long post - dang!
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Old 02-07-2013, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by paul99 View Post
My mouse scroller needs to be replaced reading this thread straight through...lol.
Why? Cause ya gotta keep going back and forth to make sure you understand what the hell I'm saying?

Paul, are my posts really that long? Wait. Don't answer that. I guess I like the way my words look on a page the same way I like to hear myself talk
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Old 02-08-2013, 07:42 AM
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Gforce23, I just wanted to add how much I enjoy reading your posts, you write well. As someone else said, your thoughts flow well.

Good job on the 3 weeks!
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by branboy2007 View Post
I hope I can get to three weeks. Congrats to you!!!!
You can do it!!!
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:12 AM
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Hey check this out folks:

Last week I went to my home group meeting, and I sitting next to this older/hipster/Scottish gentlemen, and he was telling me how rough it was when he quit drinking because a musician in rock band. So I tell that I play a bit of music myself, and he points out a woman across the room and says, "You should here her play and sing sometime, she plays around a lot." That night, I didn't talk to her about it--however, I saw her at the next women's meeting in town, and the subject came up. Turns out she's getting together with another newly sober girl who wants to learn how to play guitar. Of course I asked if I could jump in the group, and she said heck yeah!

So, now I'm going to get to play music with some sober ladies, and I don't have to worry about playing music as an either or thing. HOW cool is that? She told me she has been performing on stage all her life. So, here I am, a chick with a big voice and a guitar, but since adult hood, the thought of getting up in front of people to play/sing terrifies me to the core. So I'm hoping maybe I've found a mentor in this dept. Maybe I shouldn't count chickens before their hatched, as disappointment sucks. However, I'm pretty stoked on the possibility...!

Cheers
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:03 AM
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I really like your posts. It's like being on a little journey with you.
And it gives me hope.

I have to ask - just being nosy - What does the AD/HD stand for? If you don't mind.
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:07 AM
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Gforce, 3 weeks today, and I'm doing O.K! You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by ClearLight View Post
I really like your posts. It's like being on a little journey with you.
And it gives me hope.

I have to ask - just being nosy - What does the AD/HD stand for? If you don't mind.
It stands for Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity disorder! And, how can you not love that it looks like ACDC!

Well, maybe not all of you have the same appreciation for loud rock that I do, and considering that right now I am listening to the MELVINS at volumes that might make your ears bleed, I WANNA ROCK!

And besides, it's getting me pumped to go on my mountain bike ride in a bit....

Oh yeah, and thanks Clearlight. Thanks, I'm glad I'm not just over here wankin' off (sorry for the imagery) so to speak, and that people besides me are getting something out of it.
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:00 PM
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G...there are lots of sober musicians around here. I personally know of three ppl right off the top of my head that play in our local venues. If the thought of performing sober scares you then that's good. What a great opportunity for growth. I love doing sh*t that scares me.
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:07 PM
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Originally Posted by soberlicious View Post
G...there are lots of sober musicians around here. I personally know of three ppl right off the top of my head that play in our local venues. If the thought of performing sober scares you then that's good. What a great opportunity for growth. I love doing sh*t that scares me.
Oh no performing sober doesn't scare me, Performing AT All, whether sober of not, scares me.

What scares me is the thought hanging out and "jamming" with people that are partying--at least for the next little while.

Oh yeah, now I'm having a dance party with Blackalicious, "Here's to all the alcoholics chillin' up in A.A"

"Attackin wack amateurs and back stabbing salamanders
Creeping while I'm peeping on 'em (party time)
Before I used to hit the meetings it was (Thunderbird wine) (used to drink the Ole)
Now I drink Calistoga, sober and I'm older

But the world is still gettin colder (hold up)
The Gift of Gab don't stop (the way I feel I have just got to rock)"

Gift of Gab, Rock the Spot!--album, Blackilicious A2G

Sorry, I guess I'm in a good mood today......
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:09 PM
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Holla!
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Old 02-08-2013, 01:22 PM
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Rock on, G
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Old 02-08-2013, 01:57 PM
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Yeah - I caught the AC/DC reference. Pretty clever!
While I do like rocking music, along with all kinds of other stuff, ACDC just isn't my thing. There's a gal at work that loves ACDC and Pavarotti - go figure.
Since you like metal I think you will appreciate this video - it's Steve Vai talking about his audition for Frank Zappa. Very funny - to me anyway.
http://youtu.be/Xx1RguHA4XE]Steve Va...tion - YouTube
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Old 02-08-2013, 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted by paul99 View Post
Rock on, G
Oh, I'm just having fun. This whole sobriety thing can get so serious and maudlin at times, I just gotta bust out with some sillyness once and a while.

P.S, Clearlight, I do like some metal--but not all Metal. I'm not really a metal head, I'm a GOOD MUSIC HEAD. That pretty much means that I don't care what genre it's in if it's good, it's good. I guess that's pretty subjective, but I've been into music since I was a high school lass when I discovered the College radio station in Santa Barbara. I fell in love with Joy Division and the Ramones and the rest is history. I like Baroque acapella and Opera too, so go figure.

IN any case, I went out on the mountain on my bike for the first time since November, so I'm feeling high on life right now. My work at the gym is paying off. I made it up a steep technical section that I'm sure wouldn't have been able to pull off 3 months ago. I'm starting to ROCK IT out there. I just need a little more work...but it's coming.

I've had so many threads and posts dealing with the hard, scary, uncomfortable and sad parts of this journey, I thought I'd just post some good times here too, just to show that it ain't all bad. I'm sure there will be some more bad, but I'm not going to dwell on that right now.

One of the topics at the women's meeting was "gratitude." Now granted, I am cynical gal, and really, gratitude junkies that seem like they drank the A.A. cool-aid kind of drive me bonkers. However, here's what I'm grateful for:

This website and the people on it.
My beautiful boy,
The amazing part of the world I live in
The funky town that I finally live in after 5 years of pining to live here.
The fact that I can get on my mountain bike, ride, um, 1 block, be in the community forest that has all kinds of amazing trails, and up the mountain in a half an hour.

Peace!
Cheers SR friends.
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Old 02-08-2013, 05:36 PM
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Gforce - I was awed by the beauty of Vancouver when the olympics were being held. I'm going to visit one day. Glad you are happy in your home of choice.
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