deeker

There's a saying I heard at an AA meeting once: "We don't think our way to right action, we act our way to right thinking."

What I get from this is, if I make a habit of doing appropriate things ("the next right thing"), my thinking will become more positive .

But if I just sit around and try to figure out how to fix what's bothering me, I won't get anywhere. It's like that commitee in my head is trying to figure things out and as I am early in recovery I can't trust my thinking .

A certain Jewish carpenter once said "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?"

Actions speak in volumes. Actions speak louder than words, am I gonna talk the talk or walk the walk? .



When I stop thinking and start taking suggestions from people who are staying sober that is when my life is going to change .


My sponsor says do what’s in front of you , do the next right thing, whether you want to or not, and eventually your wrong thinking will follow the behavior and become right thinking .


Sometimes just doing anything at all like getting involved in service takes me out of the self obessesion I am usually stuck in .


I keep pretty busy going to meetings,I participate in service, church, NA/AA functions, I read, I write, I journal, I pray, but I do have trouble reaching out to people for help for help for myself . .

I love to encourage others but picking up the phone to ask for help is really hard for me .

I did relapse in December and I have been unable to think myself through the reason why .

My sponsor believes the action I should be taking is calling 3 women a day in recovery .

I don't want to do it .

I don't want to admit I need help . It all goes back to the way I was raised . To be tough and strong and don't complain and get over stuff .

I usually rebel for a day or two which I did this week and then I do what I am told .

Tonight I went to a bible study to look for an accountability partner besides my sponsor, It's time to let people in .Time to allow others to participate in my life .

I keep wanting to do this by myself but I know it will bring me back to the bottle .

Time to recognize this is a we program .An alcoholic alone is in bad company .

Fallow

Before my relapse my sponsor told me to call 3 alcoholics a day. I thought it was stupid quite frankly. So I resisted.. Eventually I was drinking again. Not that that was the reason. This time my sponsor (the same guy) didn't even mention it. I call 3-5 alcoholics a day. I love it. Uncomfortable at first but Ive had some great conversations that kept my sobriety bank full. A guy handed me his number and I just started calling.

Its nice to know if I ever get squirrely I have lots of numbers I can call for help and understanding. And they will have talked to me before!

I love that saying about acting your way..

I tried to think my way into sobriety many times. Acting my way seems to be working great! Who would have thought...